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question.....updated in comments.

Posted by on Jun. 2, 2012 at 1:28 AM
  • 41 Replies
Would you given the choice stay in a marriage where you and your husband hardly speak. Where he talks to his mother more than he talks to you. Where he clearly doesn't want to be around the kids. He only wants the kind of sex that pleases him with no regard to whether you are satisfied. Where he never gets you anything for birthdays or Christmas? Now on the flip side he provides a good income. You are able to be a sahm. You are able to volunteer at your kids school and be an active participating mom. You don't have to work and stress on how to do it all as a single working mother. You do it all now just without having to worry about bills. Would you leave to find something better in life or would you stay 18 years in your current situation?
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by on Jun. 2, 2012 at 1:28 AM
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Replies (1-10):
htreveth
by on Jun. 2, 2012 at 1:35 AM
If he didn't care about the kids I would leave. Everything else may be hard but I could do it for my kids if they were secure and happy. I am sorry if you are going through this. It must be incredibly difficult.
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sucker4myloves
by on Jun. 2, 2012 at 1:46 AM

I'd leave, my baby would deserve much more than that.

babydue1105
by on Jun. 2, 2012 at 6:06 AM
Leave, who wants to spend their life being miserable.
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mumsy2three
by Shauna on Jun. 2, 2012 at 7:25 AM

I'd leave.

yourpassion
by on Jun. 2, 2012 at 7:28 AM
I'd do everything I could first, if that didn't work I'd leave. I'm sorry you are going through this. Good luck!
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Quinn525
by Bronze Member on Jun. 2, 2012 at 7:58 AM
I'd leave, but I have two close friends who are in loveless marriages who stay for better lives for their kids. I respect their choices but it makes me sad.
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indymom72
by Bronze Member on Jun. 2, 2012 at 8:02 AM

I would be making a plan for myself, because I wouldn't be able to stay in that situation for very long.  You (if this is about you), and your kids deserve more out of life.

dinahrp
by on Jun. 2, 2012 at 8:10 AM
1 mom liked this

I would have to leave.  I couldn't stay w/ someone just to pay my bills.  I know being a single parent sucks, been there done that.  But women are just as capable and more.  We can juggle more at one time.  I put myself through college w/ 2 kids and worked full time, no family support here, they lived too far away.  It can be done.  It very hard and you have to sacrifice a lot, I mean a lot.  But now I'm happily married w/ 2 more babies.  And if anything ever happened where I had to be a single mother again, I got that degree that allows me to financially support 4 kids and do it well.  Have you thought about your options?  Do you have a degree or training? If not, I would probably stay a little longer to get me through school.  Yes, you can get child support and possibly alimony, but Ii have never met a woman who was recieving fair payments.  Usually the man will fight this to the end.  So I wouldn't count on that.  You deserve to be in a relationship where your man LOVES you.  Good luck mama.

unusualmom
by on Jun. 2, 2012 at 8:18 AM
Id leave. I have a friend in this situation and she is miserable.
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momtoboysjc
by on Jun. 2, 2012 at 8:39 AM
I am a single mom. I was in a lovelesss marriage and not happy. I think you have to be happy before you can bring happiness to anyone else. I also believe you have to think about the children, what does it teach them? Both parents are responsible for teaching their children how to be an adult. In the described situatuon the children are seeing that a "father" doesn't have to care or treat someone with respect, that as long as he is providing an income that's all that matters. The "mother" is showing that you sacrifice your own happiness for money...because she doesn't have a paying job and is content being miserable underneath it all. People think small children don't pick up on things but they absorb so much more than we realize in the moment.
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