i've seen a few replies saying one parent or another wasn't too happy with the pregnancy news because it was "out of wedlock". it amazes me! especially when it's still happening today. why is it that people still feel you need to be married to have children? i understand having the whole having partener thing. raises children with two is easier than doing it on your own. but what if you have a partener & just aren't married? why do you think the pregnancy still frowned upon by many?
when i told my mom i was pregnant with my first she wasn't over joyed but not because i wasn't married but because we got pregnant the first week we were together & she was concerned he might not stay around. legit concerns. didn't care what my father said or thought, we have never had a happy, loving relationship. i was scared to tell his mom though, a pentecostal minister. at the time she was in her late 80's & i thought she'd be dissapointed with me. her words? "is he good to you?" "does he love you?" "does he want to be a father". when i answered yes to all she simple said "then that's all that matters, isn't it? I'm happy for you & can't wait to meet my new grandbaby!".
it's sad that my 80+ year old granma's attitude isn't the norm but the exception.
We were engaged when I got pregnant. So not married yet. My parents were upset with me not really because we weren't married but because I was only 18. If I had been older and not married I don't think it would have bothered them as much. I did have one person not come to our wedding because she fully believed that we were getting married only because I was pregnant. We had been engaged 9 months before I got pregnant. I was still living at home. I was 3 months pregnant when we got married.
My family and his are both very supportive. Some of the older family members are a little stuck in their ways but they are still supportive. I believe that even if we were not getting married they still would have been happy for us and happy to have a new baby in the family.
glad you both had supportive parents.
Quoting bunnywzrd:
We were engaged when I got pregnant. So not married yet. My parents were upset with me not really because we weren't married but because I was only 18. If I had been older and not married I don't think it would have bothered them as much. I did have one person not come to our wedding because she fully believed that we were getting married only because I was pregnant. We had been engaged 9 months before I got pregnant. I was still living at home. I was 3 months pregnant when we got married.
My family and his are both very supportive. Some of the older family members are a little stuck in their ways but they are still supportive. I believe that even if we were not getting married they still would have been happy for us and happy to have a new baby in the family.
Yes we are very lucky in that. I am always reading about horrible in laws and families. We are so lucky that both of our families are great. Of course there are a few in each family that like to cause problems but for the most part it is all good. I love both of our families very much
Quoting lizzig:glad you both had supportive parents.
Quoting bunnywzrd:
We were engaged when I got pregnant. So not married yet. My parents were upset with me not really because we weren't married but because I was only 18. If I had been older and not married I don't think it would have bothered them as much. I did have one person not come to our wedding because she fully believed that we were getting married only because I was pregnant. We had been engaged 9 months before I got pregnant. I was still living at home. I was 3 months pregnant when we got married.
My family and his are both very supportive. Some of the older family members are a little stuck in their ways but they are still supportive. I believe that even if we were not getting married they still would have been happy for us and happy to have a new baby in the family.
(='.'=)
(")_(")
This is Bunny. Copy and paste him into your signature to help him gain world domination.
I never planned on having kids but if I did I wanted to be married first. And I was. It was very important to both DH and I that we be married before having kids.
Everyone is different. We hope our kids are married before they have kids but we realize that in this day and age not everyone does that. And DH is 31 and I'm 30 so it's not like we are old or anything. We just have values that we wanted to follow through with.
there is nothing wrong with values! :o)
Quoting countrymomma81:
I never planned on having kids but if I did I wanted to be married first. And I was. It was very important to both DH and I that we be married before having kids.
Everyone is different. We hope our kids are married before they have kids but we realize that in this day and age not everyone does that. And DH is 31 and I'm 30 so it's not like we are old or anything. We just have values that we wanted to follow through with.
Of course not. And everyone's values are different. I am just so tired of people getting annoyed that everyone doesn't agree with what they do.
Quoting lizzig:there is nothing wrong with values! :o)
Quoting countrymomma81:
I never planned on having kids but if I did I wanted to be married first. And I was. It was very important to both DH and I that we be married before having kids.
Everyone is different. We hope our kids are married before they have kids but we realize that in this day and age not everyone does that. And DH is 31 and I'm 30 so it's not like we are old or anything. We just have values that we wanted to follow through with.
It really bug dh's grandmother that we were not married. She told me that dd was going to be the first bastard in the family. She asked me how come we were not getting married (we had been together forever), I told her if it was up to be we would have been married years before then. After that I never heard another word from her about it. She loved her first great grand child and her first granddaughter. It bugged me too that he would not marry me. I wanted to be before she came. But she was 18 months old when we got married. Four years ago today :) :) For me it comes from my beliefs and not following Gods will.
it's sad that there are still so many people that don't get that one of the greatest gifts of humanity is having individuality.
Quoting countrymomma81:
Of course not. And everyone's values are different. I am just so tired of people getting annoyed that everyone doesn't agree with what they do.
Quoting lizzig:
there is nothing wrong with values! :o)
Quoting countrymomma81:
I never planned on having kids but if I did I wanted to be married first. And I was. It was very important to both DH and I that we be married before having kids.
Everyone is different. We hope our kids are married before they have kids but we realize that in this day and age not everyone does that. And DH is 31 and I'm 30 so it's not like we are old or anything. We just have values that we wanted to follow through with.
Need party help please
- lizzig
on Jun. 7, 2012 at 11:10 AM