Am I overreacting??

[midwest_diva]

My 4.5 year old has been with the same childcare center/pre-school for nearly 3 years. I've noticed that there is an increase in the level of mean comments the kids are making about each other and lately my little one has been dreading school. She has a little sister due in the next few weeks so I know that is also a stresser (but she is way more excited than jealous and has asked to be a part of shopping for baby items, decorating etc)

I overheard a little girl at my daughter's school call her "stupid" the other day because of the way she talks. We are having her speech evaluated in a few weeks through the school district, but she does well communicating with the kids in our neighborhood and a few kids at school she has been friends with for years. Both a teacher and the owner (who we think highly of) were defensive of the little girl saying they can't believe she said it. My daughter had been telling me about it for a week or 2 before hand, but I actually heard it one morning myself. 

 The school's attitude has shifted towards, well all kids say that kind of stuff, and the teacher started listing off all the mean things my child has said to other kids.  I don't see this behavior at Sunday school, sports or neighborhood play but I am fully aware my child is not perfect. However we do punish her for when we hear she is doing it at school. I want to enroll my daughter in a more structured Pre-K program with clear standards on behavior. Is that an over-reaction to a normal situation?

[HeathersRich]

What happened ?

[cara124]

did something happen there ?

[Cpdsptchgrl]

Quoting cara124:

did something happen there ?

[midwest_diva]

sorry just edited my original post. I must have hit enter too soon.

[htreveth]

No I don't think you are necessarily overreacting. Kids are meaner these days imho. What bothers me is the daycare isn't encouraging polite behavior rather "that's what kids do". That is when my ethics would.be in conflict with theirs.
I don't want our kids to be a nation of sissies but there has to be a level of manners too.

[HeathersRich]

No, I don't believe your over reacting. It sounds like general concern. Sounds it's time ro change facilities. Why didn't the teachers being ir to your attention till now hat your daughter has acted this way also. No matter who does the behavior they should be willing to find a solution instead od just ignoring it and therefore letting it get worse. What was the perfect place for your daughter when she was 2 might not be the perfect place for her now that she is 4. I would look around for something new. Good luck momma. Goose day cares are hard to come by.

[WackadooMom]

I don't think you're overreacting at all. I taught preschool for many years and this behavior would be unacceptable in my class. Even if they doubtef the other child said these things they should have done some "investigation." One class I had was becoming a little more unkind to one another (potty talk, name calling, etc.) I created a lesson plan on building friendships and manners. The class' behavior improved but it took time. I would look for another school that is more in line with your views. Yes, the chidren's behavior is normal but in touch and responsive teachers are a must.

[steelcrazy]

Are the "teachers" at this day care center actually state certified teachers?  If not, I would be looking for a different pre-school program that has state certified teachers as the education will be much better and the curriculum will be appropriate for her age.

As far as talking nasty to each other, it is very common at that age and every child needs to be reminded that we don't talk to others like that.

[mommybug77]

Their attitude would cause me to look elsewhere

[shaunadale]

Comments like those start as children get older and learn inappropriate behaviors from older siblings and other children. You are not overreacting. My son's preschool is VERY structured and children are not allowed to speak to each other that way.