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So angry at my dad! He offered to take the boys (12 and 2) out this evening. Tot had finished snack around four and they left at four thirty, I had to run them down b/c dad didn't wait for me to give him the diaper bag.
He brought them back around eight which is tot's bedtime, so that's a little over four hours, right? Well, dh and I were just getting to eat ourselves so we put tot in his high chair and offered him some milk and grahms and he grabbed the milk and downed it in less than two minutes and handed it to me, I refilled it, and he started on it again barely taking a breath so I called big bro into the room and asked about thier evening. He took them to Mc D's and I asked if tot drank anything "no, because Grandaddy said leave the diaper bag in the car" "I tried to give him some of my sprite, but he still doesn't get the straw idea and I know you don't him to have soda so...."
He continues that tot ate just one chicken strip.
I ask what time this was, BB says about five . So basically nothing to drink and not near enough to eat to sustain tot for three and a half hours.
I ask BB did you have a drink? (yes) and Grandaddy did too? (yes) But he told you to leave the bag where the sippy cup was in the car? (yes) WTH? He doesn't think the tiny grandchild needs liquids? I mean I know he isn't good with kids til the can talk, but really? I griped up and down while fixing tot his THIRD glass and a small plate of our food.
I felt the need to apologize to my husband on behalf of my dad. And after I put him to bed, with yet another sippy full of water(which he eagerly reached for), I asked big bro to come back in and reminded him that when he and tot were with another adult, that had to advocate for tot. Such as, if he's thirsty, then tot's thirsty. If I pack a diaper bag to send, its to take INto places, not to leave in the car. I told him I wasn't mad at him, I was mad at Grandaddy, but he had to be protector when we were not around. BUT, do I mention my dismay to my dad or let it ride?
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
by on Jun. 24, 2012 at 1:26 AM
Replies (21-25):
hollydaze1974
by on Jun. 27, 2012 at 12:16 AM
OK, I get that many of the responses I have read say it isn't BB's responsibility, but A) at a month shy of being thirteen, if he can make sure the dog has water, he can make sure little one has water and B) I wasn't hard on him at all,not in the least. In fact, all I did was extract the facts from him and then ask him to make sure his lil bro got fluids when he did. I did not yell, chastize, or brow beat him as ....I pointed out, and everyone else has, too, he wasn't in charge.
But BB is not four, he is thirteen and completely capable of bringing lil bro home hydrated if his grandfather does not provide sufficient intake.
So in conclusion:
I was angry at my dad.
I simply asked BB to make sure lil b had liquid if he did.
I did no yelling at BB as he was following another adult's orders.
I made him aware of lil bro's thirst after four hours and how much more quickly he can dehydrated.
Yes, instructions to my father will be more specific, but if none of you were ever expected to take a gaurdian approach with a younger sibling, then you were either onlies, or you WERE the youngest.

Quoting ambie25:

It's not big brothers responsibility. It sounds like maybe you were too hard in him. He is big bro, but he's not the adult. Grandpa should be spoken to, bot your oldest. If that were my boys, their feelings probably been hurt.




Quoting hollydaze1974:

did you talk to her or just not let her keep him again? My dad is over sixty and can be absent minded anyway....that's why I'm trying to decide whether to bring up the lack of attention to the physical needs of tot, or just remind big bro how it should "go down" when we aren't there. He was dehydrated, I mean after four hours he was still dry!





Quoting MrsImperfect:

Thats horrible. My sister did that one time. Took my baby and kept him all day. Finally brought him home that night and he ate an entire bowl of food in minutes. Something he never does. I was livid. It was obvious she hadn't fed him or fed him enough. I can tell you she never took him again!

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
debbymichelle
by on Jun. 27, 2012 at 5:12 PM
I just want to add that whether or not I'd tell g'dad about how hungry/thirsty lo was when he got home depends on how hard I think he'd take it. Ie, I wouldn't want him feeling overly guilty or that he had mistreated his g'son, as I'm sure he didn't mean any harm and, in the end, no one was hurt. I would just make sure to give more specific directions next time.
hollydaze1974
by on Jun. 27, 2012 at 7:04 PM
thank you, he's coming to dinner tonite. We'll see how it goes.

Quoting debbymichelle:

I just want to add that whether or not I'd tell g'dad about how hungry/thirsty lo was when he got home depends on how hard I think he'd take it. Ie, I wouldn't want him feeling overly guilty or that he had mistreated his g'son, as I'm sure he didn't mean any harm and, in the end, no one was hurt. I would just make sure to give more specific directions next time.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
mariesmama
by Gold Member on Jun. 27, 2012 at 7:56 PM

id rather my 2 yr old start with the social communication shes speech delayed and only started expressing needs this month she can at least tell me eat and drink which for her is an accomplishment

erikadi
by Member on Jun. 30, 2012 at 1:46 PM

I would mention it to your dad. It is great to have another advocate, but your father is the one in charge so he needs to act more like the responsible adult.

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