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Ranting and venting.....updates

Posted by on Jun. 25, 2012 at 8:47 AM
  • 6 Replies
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So I need to blow off some steam about a topic and want some opinions from other wives, moms, and girlfriends just to see if I am crazy.

Last October my fiancé and I returned home from the grocery store to find a friend of his and our roommates sitting on our doorstep....suitcase in hand. At the time dais he needed a pal e for a few weeks. We live in a two bedroom two bath apartment....we let him stay. He just got left by a girl and had no place to go. We let him stay...btw we had just found out I was pregnant. For the first few weeks there was no effortt to find a job just sitting on my husbands playstation and tv and eating whatever he could get his hands on. My roommate got him a job in November and by December he had lost that...women was not easy to work for, I know cause I also worked for her but again no effort. Yes he did take his last paycheck and by groceries for a household of five and me being pregnant we were technically feeding six. In December another person moved in....she was gone by march after hitting Ed in the face. Yes the guy does minimal stuff around house a few loads of dishes which he puts stuff away in places that make you shake your head. I found a knife in the cabinet with the plates. But he doesn't practice good hygiene....I can smell him when I walk by him. We found out that he has no ID and lost most of the stuff to get one with. So when my husbands Bah kicked in he gave him 300.00 to help him get on his feet back in April/may time frame. He has put in maybe 3apps, made almost 0 effort in getting ID and normally he is up all night and sleeps all day. Now right now my husband is on leave but next week he goes back to work...up at 5am mon through Friday. Daughter needs silence and dark to sleep. Can't do that with him playing a video game....we still live in a two bedroom which means baby is in our room. My husband and I are paying vast amount of the rent, spending 500.00 a month on groceries (which anything I buy that is special for me,him, or dinner I have to mark don't touch.), and just paid a 200.00 electric bill.....all while buying stuff and making room for baby. Now husband is saying august 1st he is telling him you have till august 30th to make a better effort or you will be homeless....I want him gone now. Dude you have had nine months and were given the means to help yourself. I don't want to see anyone homeless and I am the first to help anyone....but damn it you have to be willing to help yourself too. Which I see no signs of. So am I crazy or should I be patient.











So lazya$$ got a phone call yesterday looks like he may have a job interview.....yay now maybe instead of walking around my house in his underwear all day, not flushing the toilet behind himself, and pretending to help with house work......he may have a job so he can either start helping with bills and food but I would rather he moved out into an extended stay hotel. And I finally told DH I could not do two more months of this....I was given the okay to flip out and go bitch on him....if the situation arises....we are going grocery shopping this weekend, by Thursday the situation will arise.
by on Jun. 25, 2012 at 8:47 AM
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Replies (1-6):
amonkeymom
by Bronze Member on Jun. 25, 2012 at 12:14 PM
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Welcome to the group.

I think it's time to set a date for this man to move out of your apartment.  Just let him know that it's time for your daughter to adjust to her own room in preparation for the baby and that you just cannot afford to continue to support him as well as your own family (or have your fiance tell him). 

Good luck.

Poosaloosa
by Silver Member on Jun. 25, 2012 at 12:19 PM
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Well I think you are much more patient and giving than I would have been.  I would tell him sorry, you are not contributing.  Having trouble getting a job, and being a productive human is one thing.  Being a bum is another.  Maybe a night on a park bench with no one handing him dinner, and no video games will knock some sense into him.

myoldest1999
by on Jun. 25, 2012 at 12:24 PM
kick the bum out and don't look back ...
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Hellcat1980
by on Jun. 25, 2012 at 12:27 PM
I am close to it....I just don't get how a 28 year old man thinks this is okay.....the roommate that got him the job her husband does not work but they pay rent...on time...take care of some of the food, and pay for cable and Internet if she wants to support him fine....but the guy on the couch well.....no one is paying your way and I am no longer pregnant and almost back to preprego self which means I can do all my own housework in a matter of a few hours....I don't need it done for me. Ugggghhhhhhhh. My patients are running thin.
kranger
by on Jun. 25, 2012 at 12:39 PM

I think he's over extended his stay and at this point taking advantage of you. It's time for him to go. When it gets to the point where its affecting your family, then you need to tell him he needs to get out.

Hellcat1980
by on Jun. 25, 2012 at 12:46 PM
Husband is telling him august 1st he has 30 days, wish he would tell him July 1st but he is the one who gave him the money so he gets to set the timeline.
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