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I just want to hold my babies and cry......

 On Thursday before we left for vacation, I called my mom, and asked how she was doing. Apparently she was doing "fine" by her words. She sounded "normal" considering her deteroiating condition. I asked her a total of 5 times if she was okay. She insisted she was, and insisted that my husband, two children and I all still go on our family vacation. We live in AZ, we are in vacation in San Diego CA.

We went to Sea World today. Uploaded a TON of pics via phone to facebook, and sent her plenty more via text msg. We had promised to show her the boys having a good time. Well it killed our phones. So about 1ish, almost 2ish today both my husbands and my phone were dead. Apparently that was God's doing.

We went about our time at Seaworld, having fun, and enjoing our vacation.

My mom passed away tonight. Colon cancer took her from us at 10:24pm AZ time.

Thankfully we were back at the hotel by then, and both boys had been bathed, fed, and already fast asleep in their bed.

I'm sitting here dying. My husband is just holding me, and just letting me cry, I keep having to leave the room because the cries come in waves, and I just can't hold it in, and get a little loud. I just want to hold my babies and cry.

The world lost an amazing women tonight. I lost an amazing mother and grandmother to my children. I did get to speak to her one last time. But I hate myself for not listening to my gut and stayed home. Something told me she was not "fine". I just had this feeling. But like I said, she seemed to be okay and sounded "normal".

My mother is at peace, but my heart is breaking so bad. I can not believe this is true. It's like a bad friggen dream that I just wish I could wake up from.

I LOVE YOU MOMMY!!!!!!!!! I love you more than words could ever say. I promise, the boys will never forget you! Ever! Please be their guardian angel and watch over them!

I'm just speechless. I have to go now, I have one of those splitting all cried out headaches, that has now made me so dehydrated I am feeling sick.

RIP Thelma Dale. (Mom). I love you so much! I miss you already! I have called your phone 3 times already just to hear your voice on the vm. Love you mom.

by on Jul. 8, 2012 at 2:34 AM
Replies (101-110):
NaturalezaLover
by on Jul. 10, 2012 at 12:28 PM

I'm very sorry. Please, receive a big and warm embrace and my best wishes for you and your family. 

dolfynheart
by on Jul. 10, 2012 at 2:43 PM
1 mom liked this
I know exactly how you feel. My daddy has been gone only a few months....he never got to meet his grand son.... I was told I couldn't have children, my dad said God knows your heart.... My dad died of congested heart failure on September 16 2011 at 4am in Tennessee. My only child, so far, was born on December 21, 2011, 4:44 pm weighing 7.7 pounds via c section. I miss my daddy every second..... I still have not broke down and grieved over my dad. When the time is right for me....?? I am praying for you and your family, I always try to hear my dads voice when he used to quote the Footsteps prayer...... 'FOR IT WAS THEN I CARRIED YOU' ........
Pukalani79
by Kris on Jul. 10, 2012 at 2:56 PM

 ((HUGS))

aromero28
by on Jul. 10, 2012 at 3:28 PM
I completely understand how you are feeling. I lost my mom may 18, just a few weeks ago to pancreatic cancer. The pain of losing your mom is almost unbearable. I've never felt my heart do heavy or the tears flow so freely. I wish I was there to put my arms around you and hold you. I am so very very sorry. Don't hold back the tears. They will help.
momma2b2008
by on Jul. 10, 2012 at 3:31 PM
I am so sorry for your loss. Your family are in my thoughts and prayers. ((hugs))
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MrsRobinson06
by on Jul. 10, 2012 at 4:26 PM

 I am so sorry for your loss! I lost my mom a year ago from cancer and it is probably one of the hardest things we go through in our lives. I live in San Diego and she lives in AZ. I couldn't be with her when she passed and I understand how much more difficult that makes things. Prayers to your family!

kryjen
by Member on Jul. 10, 2012 at 4:30 PM
So sorry. My dad and I recently had a discussion on a similar topic of people somewhat choosing their passing. I think that's what your mom did. She wanted to give you joy, always a mother it seems, taking sorrow on for herself to keep it from those she held dearest. Prayers of comfort to you and yours.
Bobbis_Mummy
by on Jul. 10, 2012 at 5:43 PM
((((HUGS))))
Mom2Chels
by on Jul. 10, 2012 at 6:47 PM

hugs

marscella
by on Jul. 10, 2012 at 9:11 PM
Im so sorry for your loss
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