i'm not stringing anyone along. in my reply i stated that i broke it off with BD. and i am not in a relationship with the other guy, we just talk. we still have feelings for each other but we are not together. i am with no one. i dont want to be with anyone for the wrong reason. thats not fair to anyone involoved.
Quoting jediGert:
i think you need to pick one of these men and let the other down easily as you apparently are stringing both of them along until something develops either way?
You know, that holy crap heart pounding in love feeling doesn't stick around even when you are actually still IN love with the person. You get glimpses of it now and again but you don't get the rush of IN love like you do in the first six months.
So what happens when that fades with new guy and now you have 2 guys you love but aren't IN love with? Find a third one to string along too?
Personally, I'd dump both guys until I could sort myself out and if I did and one of them still wanted me, then we'd see but frankly, you need to come clean with them both.
Except you DON'T say that. On and off can mean on as much as it means off. You need to talk to both of them, tell them BOTH that you have been in communication with more than just them alone because really, that's what's fair to THEM. That they know. Then let THEM decide if they want to be in an on again off again relationship with someone that's in an on again off again relationship with someone else too.
I'm taking a wild guess here and saying neither guy knows about the other guy regardless of what the status currently is with either. I can make that guess because you answered with I'm not stringing them along instead of they already know about each other.
But that's just my guess. Generally speaking, I find if a woman or man says 'we have feelings for each other but are not together' it's only because of one of a few limited possibilities. Someone is already in a relationship with someone else. Someone is projecting their feelings onto the other person who does not share them or someone just can't let go even though it's already over.
Also is it on again off again because YOU keep waffling or is it because neither guy is really actually interested in the first place hm? My guess would be the latter because it's you making the statement and not the guys.
Granted you have to maintain contact with BD for obvious reasons but I would say otherwise move on from both men, decide who you are, find one person and work on a relationship with THEM and stop worrying about these high school type romances.
Quoting iluvmybabe:i'm not stringing anyone along. in my reply i stated that i broke it off with BD. and i am not in a relationship with the other guy, we just talk. we still have feelings for each other but we are not together. i am with no one. i dont want to be with anyone for the wrong reason. thats not fair to anyone involoved.
Quoting jediGert:
i think you need to pick one of these men and let the other down easily as you apparently are stringing both of them along until something develops either way?
You know, that holy crap heart pounding in love feeling doesn't stick around even when you are actually still IN love with the person. You get glimpses of it now and again but you don't get the rush of IN love like you do in the first six months.
So what happens when that fades with new guy and now you have 2 guys you love but aren't IN love with? Find a third one to string along too?
Personally, I'd dump both guys until I could sort myself out and if I did and one of them still wanted me, then we'd see but frankly, you need to come clean with them both.
I think you need to not be with either of them until you can be okay with being alone. Getting with someone just because you are lonely and want to say you are with someone isn't the right reason. You need to do whatever you need to do to be more comfortable with yourself before you bring anyone else into it.
Also, you stated that you were off and on with both of these guys. I haven't met anyone who had an 'off and on' relationship that in the end came out well. So when you are done working on yourself, find someone to be in a relationship with, not be off and on with.
Quoting jediGert:Except you DON'T say that. On and off can mean on as much as it means off. You need to talk to both of them, tell them BOTH that you have been in communication with more than just them alone because really, that's what's fair to THEM. That they know. Then let THEM decide if they want to be in an on again off again relationship with someone that's in an on again off again relationship with someone else too.
I'm taking a wild guess here and saying neither guy knows about the other guy regardless of what the status currently is with either. I can make that guess because you answered with I'm not stringing them along instead of they already know about each other.
But that's just my guess. Generally speaking, I find if a woman or man says 'we have feelings for each other but are not together' it's only because of one of a few limited possibilities. Someone is already in a relationship with someone else. Someone is projecting their feelings onto the other person who does not share them or someone just can't let go even though it's already over.
Also is it on again off again because YOU keep waffling or is it because neither guy is really actually interested in the first place hm? My guess would be the latter because it's you making the statement and not the guys.
Granted you have to maintain contact with BD for obvious reasons but I would say otherwise move on from both men, decide who you are, find one person and work on a relationship with THEM and stop worrying about these high school type romances.
Quoting iluvmybabe:i'm not stringing anyone along. in my reply i stated that i broke it off with BD. and i am not in a relationship with the other guy, we just talk. we still have feelings for each other but we are not together. i am with no one. i dont want to be with anyone for the wrong reason. thats not fair to anyone involoved.
Quoting jediGert:
i think you need to pick one of these men and let the other down easily as you apparently are stringing both of them along until something develops either way?
You know, that holy crap heart pounding in love feeling doesn't stick around even when you are actually still IN love with the person. You get glimpses of it now and again but you don't get the rush of IN love like you do in the first six months.
So what happens when that fades with new guy and now you have 2 guys you love but aren't IN love with? Find a third one to string along too?
Personally, I'd dump both guys until I could sort myself out and if I did and one of them still wanted me, then we'd see but frankly, you need to come clean with them both.
Tattoo question....
Do you have a landline?
- iluvmybabe
on Jul. 18, 2012 at 9:03 PM