I think I'm going to go back to work just to have money to pay a maid, yardkeeper, and pet sitter.
This comes from a place of frustration on my part. My dh managed to once again, make me feel completly taken for granted. And of course my kids want to follow that up with some attitude of thier own. So since the kids are in school, I thought that they don't need me while they are in school anyway unless they get sick or some school function comes up which I will delegate to my always appreciative dh to get time off for himself at work to do these things. I could get unstuck from the rut I'm in by going back to work. If dh don't do his half of the work then I could very well use the money I'm making to pay a maid, pay someone to take good care of our yard and eat out or have healthy but easy meals at home. Subs comes to mind. I don't even care if they eat the same thing over and over. Then maybe they will want some variety back when I used to cook. I don't care if my entire paycheck went to doing this. At least I want be stuck thinking either I have to continue to what I'm doing now and being treated like crap or I have to take on a new job to get out of the house but still have all those household and other things to do once I get home. Getting a job only seems to add to things not help. Unless I had someone to do all those things I usually would be doing if I wasn't working. Who says I have to continue to fight with dh to do his share. I'll just hire someone else to do it and be grateful that we can live on one paycheck while my paycheck goes to buying me some time to be successful at a career too. Honestly a career is not more important to me than my family, hence why I am the one home taking care of those kind of things while dh is bringing in the bacon. If he's going to treat me like a lazy a** doormat though, I will not sit here and continue to do things that ultimately are his messes, his dirty laundry and so on. Maybe I have a bad attitude right now but it sure feels good to vent. I want to tell myself that I am so secure that I can brush off his comments and not be bothered by them but for some reason its not working. Actually I feel like a very secure person. I just have a hard time continuing to do things for him if he's going to act like he is and not doing it drives me crazy because then I'm surrounded in mess. This seems to be a way to nip his ability to overlook everything I do right in the bud and still get things done at home without all the stress of trying to get through to him. At least this is the hope.
I say all this but don't know if I'd actually do it because ultimately I do love to be home with my kids and I have so many good memories from being able to go to those school functions, field trips and so on and then theres summer time when we do things together. I would be doing the job thing for me not them. That leaves the question would it really affect them if I was working and not with them all day or not? Is staying home worth it?