What do you ladies think about lending/borrowing money from friends/family?
I have not had the misfortune of having to borrow money from a friend or family member in quite sometime ( I think DD was less than a year old and she will turn nine in December) but I recently loaned my sister and family $10K; she needed it, I had it. I did not have tight strings attached to this money, I basically told her "when you can start paying me back we will make arrangements that will be comfortable for both of us".
Her husband landed a great job and is making great money; she is throwing baby showers for friends, dinner parties for co-workers, lavish birthday parties for her kids and shopping as if tomorrow may never come. And yet I have not heard of when she will start paying me back. I would understand if paying me back will still make things hard on her and her family and I understand that she is enjoying her new found financial freedom but well what should I be expecting?\
I guess I should have known better...
When you borrow money from friends or family do you pay it back right away?
When you have loaned money to friends or family do you expect it back right away?
How do you approach the subject?
You need to tell her you want automatic payments sent to you every month,now that he's working,it's easy to set up with her bank. If you feel awkward talking about it send her an e-mail.That's very irresponsible of her not to deal with it yet.
I try to avoid lending money as much as I can to family. And I NEVER borrow it. It just gets ugly alll the time.....
this never ends well ... my father saved his brother's house from being repo'd some 15 years ago and he never paid my father back. Same as you with your sister ; they were going through a hard time but then they both got work, they inherited money, renovated their house etc ... my uncle refused all contact. Then a couple weeks ago a check appeared in an enveloppe for that amount ... but the 2 brothers are still not on speaking terms
in 1999 my ex and I had loaned his cousin some money and I had sub-leased her my car, at first it went well, she paid us back as she got her child support but one day her check bounced and she dissapeared with the vehicule. It took a few months, it created a huge family feud, I got the car back but never saw a penny of what she owed us and never saw her again.
We also loaned a friend $1000 - he was never able to pay us back BUT he did give it to us in time working for my x-husband's company unpaid. Still it's always a risk.
Quoting conniejo75:
Don't ever lend money to family... intend it as a gift and if they pay back. Great! If not, then there's no hurt feelings. Being a single mom my mom has helped me numerous times. . But she never expects it back and helps all if her children at different times.
Oh and thats the other issue, my mother helped her out lots when they were struggling and two weeks ago when he got his first bonus they wrote her a check for $2K! My mom took me to lunch and when I offered to pay said "oh no, you do enough besides your sister paid me back the $2,000 she borrowed" o.o
I know it must feel good to her to finally be in a place financially that allows her to enjoy life the way others she knows have and do. I can understand and relate to that feeling but it's frustrating to me to know she completely disreguards having the conversation with me. I would feel a whole less taken advantage of if she would sit down with give me fifty bucks and say "I love you Lindi, you are a great sister and I will pay you back, I promise" I probably would not even take her money, I would just hug her and tell her that Im proud of her.
My mom and I have money going back and forth all of the time. Like the other day we went to Costco and hubby had taken off in our van that had my purse in it at the moment. Costco is 40 miles away so my mom paid for my $100 worth. I owe her $70 now because she owed me $30 before. One of us always owes the other it seems.
Quoting Jinxed8:
this never ends well ... my father saved his brother's house from being repo'd some 15 years ago and he never paid my father back. Same as you with your sister ; they were going through a hard time but then they both got work, they inherited money, renovated their house etc ... my uncle refused all contact. Then a couple weeks ago a check appeared in an enveloppe for that amount ... but the 2 brothers are still not on speaking terms
in 1999 my ex and I had loaned his cousin some money and I had sub-leased her my car, at first it went well, she paid us back as she got her child support but one day her check bounced and she dissapeared with the vehicule. It took a few months, it created a huge family feud, I got the car back but never saw a penny of what she owed us and never saw her again.
We also loaned a friend $1000 - he was never able to pay us back BUT he did give it to us in time working for my x-husband's company unpaid. Still it's always a risk.
I really should have known better! D'oh! I can be so naive at times, especially when it comes to my siblings.
Two years ago I loaned a few hundred to my brother only to find out he used to go to Vegas and wager on the Super Bowl. He has yet to pay me back but doesn't hesitate to ask for more money (I HAVE NEVER GIVEN HIM MORE!)
How was your weekend?
- lindilouwho82
on Sep. 28, 2012 at 11:38 AM