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is it right to blame anybody for my having four daughters

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I got married to the love of my life at the age of 22. Then we planned to have only two kids a boy and a girl. So we can train them well. But we now have 4 girls who I love so much,but as years go by difficulties we face make me look back to think what it would have been like if we had just two. Please I need your advice and experiences.
by on Oct. 9, 2012 at 6:43 AM
Replies (21-23):
by on Oct. 10, 2012 at 2:43 PM
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Wow you are a slow learner!!! and I guess no one really taught you about protection either!!!!!!

good for you though because you took care of your business and didnt blame everybody else for it!!

Quoting sunflowers12:

well, i have six three of each i got married young and didn't plan on having babies... because i was told i couldn't have any.. why i am not sure what the findings were, but that what both my mom and i were told.. long story short i got pg with my oldest five months after we were married.. i thought it would help my dh grow up, but i was wrong in fact i have been wrong about the man the entire 22years we have been married.. he is 18 years oldest then i ok i knew that... but there's was many things i had know idea.. i feel i should have been given a heads up but sadly that did not happen..

 regardless we had our baby in "1991"  a beautiful baby girl he did not help with anything and then stopped giving me any sort of attention what so ever.. this played a large mental part for me.. leaving me feeling undesirable and unattractive to him.. 

well, as we all know time marches on and at some point the men coma knocken for sex doesn't have to be good just whatever they feel like.. bam!! baby two comes along same thing though very little care and then ended up having that baby at home!! another beautiful baby girl.. not even 7 months later i knew something was up.. baby number three was on board surprise first son.. wow big change for me dh again nothing he is to in love with him self to care about anyone else...

nine months later again!!! man i am a slow learner!! lol... second son.. that's it i said to my self no more please.. not even three years later number five comes rollin in to my life.. thought for sure no more this time but due to poor circumstances an uncaring dh i was pg once again not even three years again.. finally coming across a wonderful doc, that said let me "help you"... i said ok, he gladly tied my tubes, so i know longer had this cycle of just having kids because at this point i am sure ppl had to be able to see through my dhs abusive and neglectful ways...

so that was 10 years ago.. after i was able to be baby free i taught my self how to drive and the getting everyone in school the taught my self how to use the computer then went back to school.. sadly no job from the schooling but i still work part time..

moral of my story is slow down girl... have some type of experiences before you run off and marry the first jerk that comes along.. why are we all in such a big dame hurry to grow up?? why not take a little time be carefree and have fun and do things for us...

to me you do have to look at the past to learn from it.. remember what not to do again.. although i love my kids and am grateful for them in my life i to have to wonder what if i didn't jump out and do all this.. i don't know, but i didn't so i have to be true to whats going on now today... not something that doesn't exist.. its ok to think about how maybe more simple things would be, but regardless and know matter what there's always going to be trails and errors know matter who your with or how many kids are to come along so just deal with it and move on.. make the best out of your situation and that's it... now my kids are 21, 18,17,15,13,10 and all doing very well.. but its because of me that its that way.. whether anyone wants to admit it or not!!good

by on Oct. 11, 2012 at 7:22 AM
Thank you so mush you ladies have saved a life. Am very grateful. I've decided to make it all worth while. Thank you.
by on Oct. 11, 2012 at 7:57 AM
Train them? I guess other than permanent birth control after 2 than you are the ones to blame for 4 kids. OTOH I love having 4 girls. I have never thought why did I have this many. I actually get sad when I think that my 18 month old is our last baby.
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