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Does a dirty house bother u?

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I'm just trying to figure out why I get so grouchy about it. I've just had our third child. Dh has been great. He's been buying groceries and cooking supper.  when I first got home he told ds, who is 16 to make sure I don't do any work and they tried to clean it before I got home from the hospital.I appreciate that they thought to do that. I was a bit surprised and really happy. yay! just focus on baby and spending time with dh and the kids. Of course I hadn't taken into account that the mess don't bother them. Even the gross things that need to be done. I end up doing the cleaning in between marathon breast feeding sessions (our new little man wants to nurse non stop it seems, the minute I pull him off the breast he wails. i've become his pacifier,lol. so its hard to get much done and my mood gets in the dumps....hormones maybe) Anyway, I love that dh is there helping out so much but man the mess that accumulates. He changes the diapers but leaves them layng in the floor. cooks breakfast but the dishes, food and garbage sits on the counter all day, ds and dd, make there messes all over the house and then when i am finally able to get to cleaning, I'm so grouchy about it because all I want is a shower but instead I'm cleaning up stuff that has accumulated because no one picks up behind themselves. Then I feel bad for being such a grouch over it because dh has been so sweet to me, helping with the baby and what not. he even bought my fav. chocolates and some chai latte coffee to go with it just to do something nice for me. they just simply don't see the nastiness i guess. i have to ask myself why a messy house bothers me so much. i feel so uneasy in it. u can't find what u need and i like to have dishes in the cabinets when i want a drink or something i suppose. not to mention, dirty diapers and yesterdays meals sitting on the counter, garbage cans over full is a bit on the too nasty sidefor me. that goes beyond just clutter. dh is a clutter bug too but i can deal with that...kind of,lol. I'm the opposite. I love my countertops cleared off. would u be bothered by that kind of mess or do i need to take a chill pill and realize i just had a baby, am nursing around the clock an just let the mess go. asking dh to do it seems to make him feel like i don't appreciate what he is already doing. he's on leave from work so its not like he's going to work, then coming home and doing the home stuff. i don't mind cleaning but doing the cleaning in between the breastfeeding while dh still has hours on the comp. has kind of turned into a dissappointment. I really thought I was going to have some house help. Maybe I'm being ungrateful. Hopefully not. I need to figure out why I get so ticked off over darn housework.

by on Oct. 12, 2012 at 9:10 PM
Replies (21-30):
kourtneya
by on Oct. 13, 2012 at 10:41 AM

I get frustrated when my house is messy.


ambercates
by on Oct. 13, 2012 at 10:42 AM
Me too!


Quoting Nenasam:

Yep, I'm a clean freak.

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SweetlilM
by on Oct. 13, 2012 at 11:21 AM
As I get older I'm getting more anal about cleaning. In my 20s I didn't care if the house was clean. Now it bothers me a lot! Maybe I've developed OCD? I don't know …
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suziq1982
by on Oct. 13, 2012 at 11:57 AM

I am the same way. I have 10yr old, 3yr old and 11week old. My husband is great and good to me as well. My 11week old went through a couple weeks of using me as pacifier as well. I just had to tell them what I needed. My 10yr old can vacuum, unload dishwasher, mop, clean his room, put his clothes away,take out trash, wipes up his sink and toilet with clorox wipes between cleanings. So when I need those things done he likes to do it cause he gets money for helping out. He always had to keep his room clean, clothes put away and his bathroom nice between cleanings without money but the other stuff is my chores so he I give money for the extra help. My 3yr old has to clean up her toys, she enjoys taking clothes out of dryer so I let her do that. My husband will do whatever needs to be done that I can't get done. Do try to enjoy because things will slow down.

Lindalou907
by Bronze Member on Oct. 13, 2012 at 11:59 AM

That would drive me crazy too,I don't think you're weird at all,and I don't think you're going to be able to change that. That's very sweet of your husband to get you the chocolates and all,but you gotta sit everyone down and ask for more help,BE SPECIFIC,make a list for them. The other thing that would help is if you could hire some cleaners.

trailerrrtrash
by on Oct. 13, 2012 at 5:20 PM

I can't stand it! I got so sick after my first was born, so I didn't do a whole lot of cleaning at that time, but every other child I was a machine. I cleaned the crap out of the house before the baby came and I was back on it asap. It drives me insane! After my 5th, I had 2 stepkids living with me as well, so we had 7 in the house and I got behind a little. I freaked out lol

Like right now, there are 9 kids. I have 6, but we have 3 stepkids this weekend. The house is a wreck. I can take it for a day or so...as long as the kitchen is clean and my bed is made. I just focus on the kitchen and make my bed as soon as we get up. The rest is really just toys everywhere. Normally, I don't allow that...toys stay in the bedrooms, they have plenty of space to play with them in there.

I think, though, your husband is trying to help. Just do what you can when you have a chance, and if there's something you need him to do while you're occupied with baby, just ask him nicely. "Babe, could you please go ahead and take the trash out?" "Do you think you could go ahead and get those dishes for me please?" I mean, if he doesn't see it, you might have to point it out. If he's doing his best, too, then just ask nicely....ya know?

devsmom98
by Member on Oct. 13, 2012 at 6:19 PM
I think there needs to be some negotiations..he (and the older kids) need to help more and u can choose to let certain things go..a "happy medium" is what I would call it..congrats on the new baby! :)
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diaperstodating
by Angel on Oct. 13, 2012 at 8:09 PM

Me three!

Quoting BuckeyezRule:

Quoting ticklesurpickle:

Not in the least bit...I mean hoarders dirty, yes. But just plain ole dirty, dishes in the sink, clothes thrown about, nope. It'll get done eventually.




Ha ha, this is me too. :)


surferlover
by on Oct. 13, 2012 at 8:29 PM
Delegate, delegate, delegate! Dh is a clean freak but my 3 oldest from my first marriage are slobs like their dad. Ive had them, a newborn and dh coming home from working long hours expecting clean housr, and things put away. The only way i could handle thhat was to assign cleaning duties and keep reminding the kids to pick up after tjemselves. They also take turns on "baby duty" rocking, changing, bathing baby so i can either get something done or relax a little...long bath, facebook time, do my nails etc.
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TurboMom81
by on Oct. 13, 2012 at 8:37 PM
Yes, but I hate cleaning more.
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