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help help help help please.....

Posted by on Oct. 13, 2012 at 9:09 PM
  • 15 Replies
I have 3 kids 16, 6, and 2. How do you control hissy fits? Even my 6 year old has started throwing them over silly stuff...I am at my wits end! Xanax cant get me through sometimes. Any suggestions???
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by on Oct. 13, 2012 at 9:09 PM
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by on Oct. 13, 2012 at 9:12 PM
My son is 5 and if he wants to throw a fit he has to go to his room and close the door. He's not allowed out until he can act right. If he breaks or throws something during a fit he looses it. Fits here are few and far between because they aren't any fun if no one is paying any attention
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by on Oct. 13, 2012 at 9:22 PM
I think my 6 year old has started throwing them because she sees how my 2year old gets more attention because his fits can turn violent...but I honestly dont know how to deal with the 2 year old. Hus older sistees never through fits like he does.
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by on Oct. 13, 2012 at 9:34 PM
We have time out!!
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by on Oct. 13, 2012 at 9:55 PM

Mine is 4.  A tantrum results in two things: Definitely NOT getting whatever it is she wants (more often then not she gets the exact opposite) and some quiet alone time.  The severity of the tantrum depends on if she gets sent to time out, to her room, or if I just get up and walk away. 

Of course handling tantrums from a 6yo will be different from a 2yo.  Either way the less attention they get the better, because what's the point if no one cares.  And be consistent and firm... remember they can smell fear and will take full advantage of any tear in your mommy armour!

by Silver Member on Oct. 13, 2012 at 10:27 PM
Well you definitely need to find a way to handle the 2 yr old, without giving him his way.... That sets a bad and hard to change precedent... Then talk to the 6 yr old. If your 6 yr old wants to act like a 2 yr old, tell him/her that s/he will be treated as such. 2 year olds don't get to ride big kid bikes, they don't get to have video games, they have earlier bed time an way less privledges! They don't get big kid toys. So if 6 yr old wants to fit like a 2 year old s/he doesn't get that either.
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by on Oct. 13, 2012 at 10:34 PM
I agree. Fits are all about control. If your in public, stop immediately and take them out and put them in the car. Let them go. If your at home, put them in their room. It's about control and trying to break you, it's not fun if your not watching/no one else is watching or they are not breaking your patience. Let them finish and go back back to exactly what your doing. They have to know they do not call the shots.
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by on Oct. 14, 2012 at 12:27 AM

I always looked at them like, "Seriously?" and then walked away. They actually would follow me to throw the fit and I would walk away again. After a bit, they quit doing it because they realized fits do not get them the attention they are seeking. They are now 9 and 12, so we don't do fits anymore. We do sarcasm now. Joy. I ignore that too.

by on Oct. 14, 2012 at 3:01 PM

If your 6 year old has recently started throwing them, I would take a step back and ask what in your life has changed recently. Children's behavior is their way of expressing distress, sorrow, fear, or uncertainty.  They tend to go back to immature behaviors when they are stressed over something.  If you and your spouse have been fighting a lot, if you have recently moved, if they have lost a friend or a family member either through a move or death, etc. all of these things can trigger those kinds of negative behaviors.  

At the bottom of the bad behavior is an effort by your child to fill a need and resolve a crisis.  Try to figure  out what the need or crisis is and help them to resolve it in a less negative manner.

by on Oct. 14, 2012 at 3:48 PM

It's to get your attention, ignore the fits and tell them you will talk to them about what is wrong when they've calmed down.

by on Oct. 14, 2012 at 4:41 PM

if they have a room or some type of room in the house start sending them to the room with nothing to do for a time out.. really have to put you foot down, and explain to those that are old enough to understand this behavior is simply not going to cut it.. however the 16 year old should be able to set some type of example for the younger ones... and the two year old is about the only one i would expect tantrums from because of her age.. however i am sure i do not have all the fact so therefore can only give some suggestion of what you can do...

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