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Are you the kind of wife you want to be? Why/why not?

by on Nov. 12, 2012 at 6:50 PM
Replies (31-40):
momof2bears04
by on Nov. 13, 2012 at 4:09 PM


Quoting countrymomma81:

I'm not. 

I was a great wife before I had kids. My house was super clean all the time, I always had everything organized and nothing was out of place. Every night I would sit with my husband while he bathed and visit. I'd wash his back, put his towel and pajama's in the dryer so they'd be fresh and warm when he got out of the tub. I'd leave him little sticky notes all over the house for him to find. I'd rub his feet every night then scratch his back until he fell asleep. 

Once we had kids unfortunately all of that fell out of the window. I'm trying to get that back, but I don't have the time and energy I had back then:(

So basically you went from acting like his mom to being your kids mom. LOL!

I'm not the wife I want to be bc i have NO time. 2 kids under 18 months will do that. But I do the best that I can to make sure he knows he is loved and apprectiated. basically as long as I keep our sex life active he's happy.

Jinxed8
by Gold Member on Nov. 13, 2012 at 4:49 PM

the kind of wife I want to be ??  No. I try to be a good wife, and I don't think I'm the ultimate wife he'd like me to be either but nobody's perfect.  I have a temper and a personality, I get tired and impatient ; I'm a working mom 40+ hours a week, with the weight of the world on my shoulders ... I do the best I can.  

countrymomma81
by Platinum Member on Nov. 13, 2012 at 4:58 PM


Quoting momof2bears04:


Quoting countrymomma81:

I'm not. 

I was a great wife before I had kids. My house was super clean all the time, I always had everything organized and nothing was out of place. Every night I would sit with my husband while he bathed and visit. I'd wash his back, put his towel and pajama's in the dryer so they'd be fresh and warm when he got out of the tub. I'd leave him little sticky notes all over the house for him to find. I'd rub his feet every night then scratch his back until he fell asleep. 

Once we had kids unfortunately all of that fell out of the window. I'm trying to get that back, but I don't have the time and energy I had back then:(

So basically you went from acting like his mom to being your kids mom. LOL!

I'm not the wife I want to be bc i have NO time. 2 kids under 18 months will do that. But I do the best that I can to make sure he knows he is loved and apprectiated. basically as long as I keep our sex life active he's happy.

I wouldn't say that. I was the kind of wife I wanted to be back then. I took pride in doting on him.  My husband is fine with the way things are now. He's still well taken care of and happy, don't get me wrong. I just know how things were back then and I feel bad for him. I don't think he expects those things any longer. We have kids that are 5 and 10 plus we host exchange students. Our kids are in tons of sports and activities and I just don't have energy for all that anymore. He knows this and he's fine with it. It's me that has the problem. 

I think it's just hitting me that I am not the super woman that I want to be. I'm super insecure about my wife/mother abilities. And everyone is fine with it all but me. 

AleaKat
by on Nov. 13, 2012 at 4:59 PM
No cause I'm never in the mood anymore and I procrastinate too much.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
TugBoatMama
by on Nov. 13, 2012 at 5:00 PM

 I guess. Hubs says I'm a great spouse but there is always room for improvement. He wishes I wasn't so shy in social circles and that I would put myself out there more. I know he wishes I weren't such a clean freak too.

countrymomma81
by Platinum Member on Nov. 13, 2012 at 5:02 PM


Quoting Jinxed8:

the kind of wife I want to be ??  No. I try to be a good wife, and I don't think I'm the ultimate wife he'd like me to be either but nobody's perfect.  I have a temper and a personality, I get tired and impatient ; I'm a working mom 40+ hours a week, with the weight of the world on my shoulders ... I do the best I can.  

Well all that matters is that you try:)

countrymomma81
by Platinum Member on Nov. 13, 2012 at 5:04 PM


Quoting AleaKat:

No cause I'm never in the mood anymore and I procrastinate too much.

Here neither of us are in the mood much so it's alright I guess. We still show affection, but I think with both of us being bigger people we don't want anyone hanging on us. 

I'm a procrastinator too. 

countrymomma81
by Platinum Member on Nov. 13, 2012 at 5:27 PM
1 mom liked this


Quoting TugBoatMama:

 I guess. Hubs says I'm a great spouse but there is always room for improvement. He wishes I wasn't so shy in social circles and that I would put myself out there more. I know he wishes I weren't such a clean freak too.

Yeah, I could change that a bit too. My thing isn't really that I'm shy, I just wear my thoughts on my face. If I'm annoyed, I show it. If I'm not interested in what you are saying, it's all over my face. 

The other day we were in the mall and my daughter was being whiny and crabby and I was getting annoyed. We walked by my cousin (and I honestly didn't see him), and he says "you aren't about to walk by and not say Hello, are you"? and apparently I turned and gave him an ugly look. I never intended to, and I wasn't meaning to be rude at all. So him and DH talked for a bit and then his little boy walked up to our exchange student and gave him 5. So my cousin asked if that was my exchange student and I said yes then we said goodbyes and walked away. 

DH pulled me aside and told me how rude it was of me not to introduce them. Oops! While as an adult that should have been the first thing on my mind, it wasn't. It simply didn't occur to me. And after talking to SIL and MIL today about it, they both told me that I can come across as rude sometimes. I never, ever mean to. 

marie2409
by on Nov. 13, 2012 at 5:30 PM
Very well said!! This is us too 😊

Quoting Looneyfarmmom:

Yes, I am fun loving, supportive, his best friend, trusting, faithful, and the mirror of who my husband is to me. 

Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
TugBoatMama
by on Nov. 13, 2012 at 5:34 PM

 Changing is easier said than done for me. I have been told that I come off as stuck up in real life just because I am so quiet and kind of a wallflower. I have had people I like just fine pull me aside and ask "Why don't you like me? What did I do?"

Lol its rather embarassing. Throughout my life people have usually interrupted me just so they can talk over me, and it makes me feel like a complete loser, so I just quit trying to talk to anyone after while. I hate when I have things to say and I'm too shy to say them, or I don't even know where to jump in because so many people are trying to talk at once. If I try to talk over someone they just talk louder. Idk I'm just an awkward person. My hubs is really the only one that gets to see what I'm really like.

Quoting countrymomma81:


Quoting TugBoatMama:

 I guess. Hubs says I'm a great spouse but there is always room for improvement. He wishes I wasn't so shy in social circles and that I would put myself out there more. I know he wishes I weren't such a clean freak too.

Yeah, I could change that a bit too. My thing isn't really that I'm shy, I just wear my thoughts on my face. If I'm annoyed, I show it. If I'm not interested in what you are saying, it's all over my face. 

The other day we were in the mall and my daughter was being whiny and crabby and I was getting annoyed. We walked by my cousin (and I honestly didn't see him), and he says "you aren't about to walk by and not say Hello, are you"? and apparently I turned and gave him an ugly look. I never intended to, and I wasn't meaning to be rude at all. So him and DH talked for a bit and then his little boy walked up to our exchange student and gave him 5. So my cousin asked if that was my exchange student and I said yes then we said goodbyes and walked away. 

DH pulled me aside and told me how rude it was of me not to introduce them. Oops! While as an adult that should have been the first thing on my mind, it wasn't. It simply didn't occur to me. And after talking to SIL and MIL today about it, they both told me that I can come across as rude sometimes. I never, ever mean to. 

 

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