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question for all the divorce/separted moms out there...

Posted by on Nov. 18, 2012 at 6:44 PM
  • 27 Replies

Hi, were you the one who wanted the divorce/separtion?? If u were the one were u thinking about it for awhile?? How long did it take you to make you decision??

Mother of 4- Alexis Jean born 01/28/01, Erik Michael born 04/03/02, Destini Nikole born 10/16/06 & Lil' William Joseph Ray "Joey" born 08/26/10...




by on Nov. 18, 2012 at 6:44 PM
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Replies (1-10):
zumbafreak11
by on Nov. 18, 2012 at 6:53 PM

Yes, I was the one that wanted the divorce.  I'd been thinking about it for over a year, but it took me only a few weeks after I left to decide that it was over and it's been one of the best decisions I ever made.  On February 21, we'll have been divorced for 6 years.

offrdngal
by Gold Member on Nov. 18, 2012 at 7:16 PM
I was the one who wanted it. I had been thinkog about it for years. When the verbal abuse escalated to physical abuse...I kicked his ass out.
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zumbafreak11
by on Nov. 18, 2012 at 7:21 PM

:(  I was verbally abused too.

Quoting offrdngal:

I was the one who wanted it. I had been thinkog about it for years. When the verbal abuse escalated to physical abuse...I kicked his ass out.


nodramamama311
by on Nov. 18, 2012 at 7:23 PM
I left my ex because we had an 18 month old and he was a drunk and wasn't ready to quit. Finally one day after he had a nervous breakdown I took all my shit and my daughter and moved out while he was passed out. It took a while for me to realize he wasn't going to change. About 18 months.
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offrdngal
by Gold Member on Nov. 18, 2012 at 7:26 PM
I "tolerated" the verbal abuse because it was easy to tune out...to a point. I refused to tolerate being hit. My marriage was one of convenience...but not THAT convenient.

Quoting zumbafreak11:

:(  I was verbally abused too.


Quoting offrdngal:

I was the one who wanted it. I had been thinkog about it for years. When the verbal abuse escalated to physical abuse...I kicked his ass out.


Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
aj23
by Silver Member on Nov. 18, 2012 at 7:30 PM
1 mom liked this

I walked in on him and another woman and I left and filed divorce papers that same day. Cheating is unforgivable and not something I'm willing to look past so it was a very easy decision for me to make.

zumbafreak11
by on Nov. 18, 2012 at 7:35 PM

Mine was a marriage of convience too.  I was 3 months pregnant when we got married and I thought I had to be married to her father so she wouldn't be labeled a bastard.  Well, that's twisted thinking.  I didn't like walking around on egg shells and I was hit twice.  What really made the decision for me was the constant accusations that I was having affairs (I was completely faithful) with various family members in both of our families.  Sicko!!!  My daughter was 8 months old when I left his ass, 21 months old when the divorce finalized.  We've been divorced for 5 1/2 (6 on February 21, 2013) years and I've never been happier.  Guys like that suck!!!

Quoting offrdngal:

I "tolerated" the verbal abuse because it was easy to tune out...to a point. I refused to tolerate being hit. My marriage was one of convenience...but not THAT convenient.

Quoting zumbafreak11:

:(  I was verbally abused too.


Quoting offrdngal:

I was the one who wanted it. I had been thinkog about it for years. When the verbal abuse escalated to physical abuse...I kicked his ass out.



grneyedormom
by Kendra on Nov. 18, 2012 at 8:02 PM

I think, if I can remember back that far, that it ended up being a mutual decision. He decided he didn't want any more kids, and therefore since that was one of the factors in which we chose to get married, we agreed to separate and get divorced. HA, then 3 months later we found out we were pregnant. A rocky start to becoming parents, but neither of us regret that we now have a child together. It's been 9 years. Our daughter is 9 years old. :) Best divorce present a Mom could ask for...

cklamour
by Bronze Member on Nov. 18, 2012 at 8:05 PM
I indirectly asked for the divorce. I had only thought about it a very short while and six months later it was final. There are days that I regret that decision but I can't cried over spilled milk :-/

This December will make it eight years of it being finalized.
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mhaney03
by Bronze Member on Nov. 18, 2012 at 8:06 PM

My answer is complicated, but I'll just say I'm glad it's over.

He threatened me with divorce many times, and every time I'd call his bluff (kick him out, hire a lawyer, etc..) he'd turn it on me and say "you sure this is what you want?" to make it look like my fault.

After a few years of that, I said GTFO and blame it on me if it helps you sleep at night.

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