Hi there ~
This may sound ridiculous, but I think we finally named our 10 month old baby girl. I'm still seeking peace within myself, so please don't be too harsh with any comments.
If you saw any of my posts/polls from earlier in the year, we've been struggling with a few names since she was born. The story essentially goes like this - during my pregancy (second, her brother is 17 months older then she is), we didn't talk much about the pregnancy, much less about names. We didn't find out the sex either, which in hindsight made the problem that much worse. Since her brother was a toddler, he got most of the attention during the entire pregnancy. The little we did talk about names, we didn't come to any final conclusion. My husband at first had thrown out the name 'Bree', which I liked, but had a hard time with the middle name 'Jean' - this is my middle name, so one that I always wanted as a part of my daughters should I have one. I used Bree as a platform and was trying to play with other potentials - Brianna, Brielle, etc., then about two weeks before we had our daughter, my husband had thrown out the name 'Peyton', which I think is a perfectly lovely name, but not one that jumped out as feeling right for my daughter. In my mind, I wanted her to have one that was uniquely feminine. Unisex names just didn't stick for me. When he suggested the name, I quickly said, no, but then life went on and the toddler needed attention, etc. Speed ahead to delivery. Immediately after she was born, my husband started calling her 'Peyton'. I had asked that we wait until the next morning to name her, but then in all the excitement and all the joy of how happy he was, I said okay. For the next couple of days in the hospital, we played with the spelling and I threw out a few other names until I finally wrote Peyton down on the birth certificate immediately before leaving the hospital.
Over the next couple of days I started freaking out. I was hysterical, crying, etc. The name didn't feel right. So, I went to the hospital and was able to get the paperwork and stop it before being submitted. Since then, we've been on a horrible cycle of needing to move on with giving her a name. (Before everyone asks, in the state we live in you have 12 months to name a child without having to go through any court processes).
I've looked at every name in the book, web, movie credit, pinterest posts, etc. I've been to a counselor a couple of times, the pastor, spoken with friends and even went to a couple of hypnotherapy sessions to relieve my block. Through all of this, we narrowed it down to Adelyn (my favorite), Elise (a compromise) and Peyton (his favorite). My husband has gotten to a place where he'd name her anything just to move on. I've struggled because I feel so bad and guity for taking away a name he loves, yet feel that I need to be true to my gut reaction over her name. Today we needed to put some finality to it as we needed to submit new insurance paperwork. After a day of scratching names on notebook paper, looking at her and staring at each other - I finally wrote Elise on the paperwork as he was walking out the door. I immediately started shaking and crying and questioning whether or not this was the right decision. I wonder if I should have just insisted on Adelyn Mae which I think is adorable, despite it not having Jean as the middle name. I question all of this, but can't go back to my husband again because his nerves are shot. I need peace for my family, my son who is starting to be more articulate in his speech and for her since right now, we've been calling her 'Sissy' for Sister.
All in all, I pray for peace. I pray for confidence that this is the right name for her. I pray for forgiveness and understanding from my husband for taking away the name he wanted. And I pray for the pain this has caused to go away.
Its your nerves.. everything is just right and much nicer then peyton :P don't let Dads name baby girls:)
You made the right decision. I think Elise is the prettiest, most unique name of the names above. Elise is very feminine, has a nice spelling and sounds great for a child and an adult. It's a name you can see a very intelligent woman having. You can call her El or Elle, it's perfect! It's sophisticated and sweet. If you named her Peyton I would have told you to run back and change it! Adelyn is an old lady's name.
Quoting babydue1105:
Not trying to be harsh but I have to go with your first sentence...it does sound ridiculous. Sorry.
Consider it a gift that something like this isn't imaginable in your life. I never would have believed we'd have gotten to be in this situation either. Naming our son was extremely easy. We found a name that we both immediately loved, went with it and never looked back. I assumed that it would be just as easy the second time around. All in all, I haven't ever felt a pain as great as looking at my beautiful, amazing girl and not knowing what to call her - questioning everything - feeling the pressure of not wanting to disappoint or hurt my family by taking away something my spouse loved - yet wanting to be true to myself. As I've looked on-line for support on baby naming, I've found a few things, but very limited support addressing the emotional toll it takes on a person. Articles generally surround how to go about naming a child - or simply get over it. The reality is however, that the pain is so great in that you feel (at least I did/do) that you've failed everyone by not being "normal" in the timing of the name, that you didn't have it figured out before the baby was here and that with all of the questioning and self-doubt that comes from spinning with all the issues in your head - that you will never be able to make the right decision. This being said, the rational part of your head tells you that it's not a big deal, it's only a name and that she will be who she will be regardless of the name. Unfortunately, the unrational part of the mind takes control when the emotional aspect is so high.
This has got to be bullshit.
The paperwork is pretty much submitted after you leave the hospital. You waited two days before changing your mind and left a baby un named for ten months?
This has got to be crap. It has to be.
Quoting Aamy:
Poor kid. She is going to be so confused. How you couldn't take the time to come up with names before she was born....I had a young child at home while pregnant, we always had time for the pregnancy and picking out names.
Again, I guess there's the saying of walk a day in someone else's shoes...
I'm very glad that your experience wasn't the same as mine. Unfortunately mine wasn't as seemless as yours. It's just the way it was.
I believe she will be fine, which is why the state gives you a year and any experts on the topic recommend that if a name were to be changed that it be done before the age of 2 - before the long-term memory strengthens and language fully develops.
I'm sorry that it's been so stressful and long and drawn out. But I understand the need to find that "right" name. My parents named me "Ivy Dawn." It's a beautiful name...now. As a child, it was pure torture to the point that in 6th grade we legally changed it.
I hope you can come to peace and that life can now move on for you and your family.
Need party help please
- Erica1012
on Dec. 3, 2012 at 4:27 PM