Hi there ~
This may sound ridiculous, but I think we finally named our 10 month old baby girl. I'm still seeking peace within myself, so please don't be too harsh with any comments.
If you saw any of my posts/polls from earlier in the year, we've been struggling with a few names since she was born. The story essentially goes like this - during my pregancy (second, her brother is 17 months older then she is), we didn't talk much about the pregnancy, much less about names. We didn't find out the sex either, which in hindsight made the problem that much worse. Since her brother was a toddler, he got most of the attention during the entire pregnancy. The little we did talk about names, we didn't come to any final conclusion. My husband at first had thrown out the name 'Bree', which I liked, but had a hard time with the middle name 'Jean' - this is my middle name, so one that I always wanted as a part of my daughters should I have one. I used Bree as a platform and was trying to play with other potentials - Brianna, Brielle, etc., then about two weeks before we had our daughter, my husband had thrown out the name 'Peyton', which I think is a perfectly lovely name, but not one that jumped out as feeling right for my daughter. In my mind, I wanted her to have one that was uniquely feminine. Unisex names just didn't stick for me. When he suggested the name, I quickly said, no, but then life went on and the toddler needed attention, etc. Speed ahead to delivery. Immediately after she was born, my husband started calling her 'Peyton'. I had asked that we wait until the next morning to name her, but then in all the excitement and all the joy of how happy he was, I said okay. For the next couple of days in the hospital, we played with the spelling and I threw out a few other names until I finally wrote Peyton down on the birth certificate immediately before leaving the hospital.
Over the next couple of days I started freaking out. I was hysterical, crying, etc. The name didn't feel right. So, I went to the hospital and was able to get the paperwork and stop it before being submitted. Since then, we've been on a horrible cycle of needing to move on with giving her a name. (Before everyone asks, in the state we live in you have 12 months to name a child without having to go through any court processes).
I've looked at every name in the book, web, movie credit, pinterest posts, etc. I've been to a counselor a couple of times, the pastor, spoken with friends and even went to a couple of hypnotherapy sessions to relieve my block. Through all of this, we narrowed it down to Adelyn (my favorite), Elise (a compromise) and Peyton (his favorite). My husband has gotten to a place where he'd name her anything just to move on. I've struggled because I feel so bad and guity for taking away a name he loves, yet feel that I need to be true to my gut reaction over her name. Today we needed to put some finality to it as we needed to submit new insurance paperwork. After a day of scratching names on notebook paper, looking at her and staring at each other - I finally wrote Elise on the paperwork as he was walking out the door. I immediately started shaking and crying and questioning whether or not this was the right decision. I wonder if I should have just insisted on Adelyn Mae which I think is adorable, despite it not having Jean as the middle name. I question all of this, but can't go back to my husband again because his nerves are shot. I need peace for my family, my son who is starting to be more articulate in his speech and for her since right now, we've been calling her 'Sissy' for Sister.
All in all, I pray for peace. I pray for confidence that this is the right name for her. I pray for forgiveness and understanding from my husband for taking away the name he wanted. And I pray for the pain this has caused to go away.