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Attention seeking children.

Posted by on Dec. 8, 2012 at 6:44 PM
  • 9 Replies

As you can see, we have 5 children all 6 and under. My husband is a stay at home day and does a wonderful job at it. We have 1 autistic child who is high functioning but does require some special attention at times. We also have a 3 year old who requres attention due to potty training. Our problem is we have 2 children that seek a ton of attention from us no matter how much we give them through out the day. They choose to do this in misbehaving sometimes, but we try to ignore most of small behaviors. Our son who is 4, he will not play on his own, he has to be near one of us at all times. He is so close to behind us we trip over him or he will yell our name if we go in the restroom. When he has to play alone because we are cooking and dont allow him around or doing work he cant be involved in, he will purposely hurt or annoy the other children. He whines non stop, talks non stop, asks the same question or says the same thing over and over again. He doesnt sleep all night, he cant share a room because he will attack the child he shares with. He breaks things, draws on walls in the middle of the night when he suppose to be sleeping. Will take off his pull up and pee the bed so we have to get up with him. He thinks he is the boss of all the children and throws fits when he is placed in his room with the door shut for time out.  We have tried everything from postive reinofrcement to grounding to his room and taking away his beloved monkey. He just throws tantrums and we ignore them because he does it behind his close door and some can last all day. Now his sister and him are 2 peas in a pod she is 6 and does the same behavior except she will fake illnesses and hu rt herself for attention. We have started to get her somewhat under control with both positive and neg consequences. These children are not mine biologically and had a rough start neglect, sexual abuse. We get family consouling but they all say we are doing everything we can. They also say these children do not have a mental disorder. They have lived with me for 18 months. Are we in for a lifetime of this type of behavior?

by on Dec. 8, 2012 at 6:44 PM
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by on Dec. 9, 2012 at 2:15 AM
2 moms liked this

 I have read a book called The explosive child. My oldest step son has bipolar,adhd,and odd,and was recommended to read this book. I AM NOT SAYING YOUR KIDS HAVE THESE. But what I am saying is in this book it gives some advice on different things you can try like a award system and discipline system. I have 4 kids and have used these for all my kids and saw a difference in how they behave. I have also heard 123 magic has some really good ideals and advice on how to handle situations.  Hope that helps

by Maranda on Dec. 9, 2012 at 1:09 PM


by Ivy on Dec. 9, 2012 at 1:29 PM

 Poor kids! Sounds like they've had a rough start.  I hate what people do to children. I don't really have any good advice, except maybe - are you able to give them any one-on-one time and attention? I know it's hard with everything else going on, but it sounds like they are literally screaming for attention and probably some reassurances...

by Ruby Member on Dec. 9, 2012 at 2:25 PM

Wow. I have two (5 and 10) and I have my hands full. I can about imagine what you go through. 

My 10 year old is an attention seeker. He can't stand the fact that my daughter exists and needs attention too. If we are going somewhere as a family, he demands my husbands attention and God forbid my daughter or I try to communicate with either of them. They (DH and DS) could play outside for hours and if DH comes sit on the sofa with me or something, DS starts crying insisting no one spends any time with him. 

I have no advice for you, although I wish I did:(

by Bronze Member on Dec. 9, 2012 at 5:10 PM

i'm 31 with 3 kids 13, 7, and 9 months....all girls welcome to the group

by Bronze Member on Dec. 9, 2012 at 7:31 PM

I am not sure. My youngest demands attention some, but isn't to bad about it. She can play alone, all of them could from a young age. Good luck

by on Dec. 9, 2012 at 11:46 PM

Good luck My DH and I are in the process of adoption and we are adopting an autistic boy. I am praying for the best.

by on Dec. 12, 2012 at 9:33 PM

Austic children help you see the world with different eyes. I woudnt cahnge our little man for anything, he is loving and always helps us see things in a different light. Good luck with your adoption autistic children each unique have something to teach all of us.

by on Dec. 12, 2012 at 10:08 PM

First of all you and your husband are saints!  I have one adopted child myself and he is a handful.  He is 12 now and is getting better, I think, I hope.  Anyhow just be consistent and keep doing what you guys are doing.  I don't think it will last a life time you just have to be more stubborn than he is.  I would just let him sit in his pee for a while though if he's doing things like that.  He is old enough to know that is not right.  I really am an old school type of parent.  I'm an eat it or wear it kind of gal.  Or you could make him clean up his own mess in the morning.  Kids are realitivly good at destroying the bed, anyhow.  Make him sleep on the floor if he pees in his bed.  I am assuming that he isn't in a crib anymore also.  Although I would leave my kids in their cribs until they could get out so I'm not judging if he is.  Keep your head and your heart up. 

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