Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

30 Something Moms 30 Something Moms

I need opinions and suggestions!

Posted by on Dec. 10, 2012 at 12:05 PM
  • 24 Replies
DS was 10wks early, spent the entire 10wks in the NICU and when he was released we still spent about every other week in the hospital for various reasons for months...

DS is now almost 2. He's in occupational Therapy and Physcial Therapy (he just graduated speech Therapy!) He's terrified of so many daily life things (the vacuume or heater vents for instance), and even alot of toys. If the toy moves or makes sounds he's terrified, if it has weird fur he's terrified of it (like Elmo or cookie monster toys). Were not talking scared, were talking absolutely terrified!

My question is about my reaction to his reaction. I feel instantly panicked, my chest feels tight, like I can't breath, like I just want to run away, I want to cry but I'm just overwhelmed with fear, concern, worry. I'm really not sure what it is but it takes over completely and it takes me an hour, sometimes longer to calm down and feel like I can breathe again. What is going on with me?!?!?! Is my reaction to his normal??? Dh gets upset by my reaction because he says it isn't helping our son, which I understand but I honestly can't help it. It completely takes over.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
by on Dec. 10, 2012 at 12:05 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
sunflowers12
by on Dec. 10, 2012 at 12:33 PM

well, its probably safe to say that you are over reacting and that could further his ability to calm down as well, kids feel when parents are upset or whatever so yes i would definitely work on your reaction to the matter.. now having said that appropriate reaction to all situations should be said as well, if its an emergency situation obviously your reaction should be prompt medical attention and you cant do that if you overwhelmed with fear... parenting is not for the faint of heart it does require some tenacity and guts!! many are ill equipped to say the least and there is always room to grow as you parent because there is know such thing as being the perfect mom/parent but there sure are many why to be a great mom:) 

and i am sure you are wonderful just have to make some adjustments with the reactions.. its can be scary that's for sure.. but you can do it just takes time:)

mammabug13
by on Dec. 10, 2012 at 1:56 PM

I understand your consern completely.  Every mother worries sick about their children. I  think that your reaction has a HUGE part of your son's reaction.  Try staying calm and talk to him about why he feels scared/terrified.  If its the sound, vibration, the feel of the fur, ect...  My son was the same way.  I started talking to my son about the things that freaked him out when he was 14 months old.  I now know that he is afraid that i will suck up his toys or socks (my son NEVER takes his socks off) and that the noise of the vacume is very loud to him.  Now he just holds his ears when I vacume.   As far as his noisy toys and ones that move, he was just afraid that they would hurt him.  He loves them now.

emarin77
by Bronze Member on Dec. 10, 2012 at 2:10 PM

Have your son looked at by a pediatric doctor to figure out why your son is reacting this way.  It sounds like sensory issues.  This will help you and your husband understand what is going on.  For you, I suggest seeing a therapist to deal with your anxiety/panic.  You need to learn ways to stay calm during these times.

monkeymom1104
by on Dec. 10, 2012 at 2:21 PM
I agree with the sensory issue idea. Also has he had his ears checked? Some children have excessive fluid behind the canals and loud sounds bounce off the fluid and it causes the sound to be extremely loud. Tubes take care of this problem.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
mandyjh
by on Dec. 10, 2012 at 3:04 PM
It sounds like you could be having anxiety attacks, and I agree with the other on the sensory issues with your son, good luck
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Looneyfarmmom
by on Dec. 10, 2012 at 3:07 PM

Sounds like anxiety. I get them from time to time but I use to be a lot worse. You don't have control over it. It just comes and goes when it wants. So it isn't your fault. But you can seek help for medication, support groups, and even educate yourself on tips that may help you beyond medication to deal with it. 

Jinxed8
by Gold Member on Dec. 10, 2012 at 4:38 PM

no expert here but your over-reacting cannot help your son with his irrational fear ... I'm not even sure if I understand right you freak out when he gets scared is that it ?

mumsy2three
by Shauna on Dec. 10, 2012 at 5:44 PM

Has the OT discussed sensory integration processing disorder with you or has your son been diagnosed with it? That could be the reason he responds the way he does to various stimuli.

It sounds like you are having anxiety and/or panic attacks because of this, which I think is understandable since your son has been through so much since birth. Cognitive behavioral therapy can help you with anxiety/panic attacks. Hugs.

IQuitCounting
by Bronze Member on Dec. 10, 2012 at 5:50 PM

My guess is genuine panic attacks, not just over reacting.  You could try talking to your Dr about it, maybe seek out some self-help books to help you cope.

OHgirlinCA
by Bronze Member on Dec. 10, 2012 at 5:53 PM

 My son was terrified of any toy that talked or moved at that age too.  I simply gave him a hug and took him away from it.  It was just a phase.  He's now 5 and it doesn't bother him anymore. 

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)