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Am I doing the right thing for my son? **UPDATE IN RED**

Posted by on Jan. 21, 2013 at 1:11 PM
  • 16 Replies

 My son is 10 and is in a Group doing Odyssey of the Mind (if anyone doesn't know what it is, it's a group of 7 kids who make up a skit out of a "problem" they choose and go up against other schools from an area and compete). The last 3 weeks my son has basically been coming home crying that he is being teased by all 6 kids. It apparently started 2 weeks ago when they were at a house the kids (except mine) were picking on this one other child but when my son stepped up and stuck up for his friend they started in on him, including the one he stuck up for. Now I have volunteered with all these kids without their parents around and I know my son is no angel but a couple of these boys and one of the girls are bad apples.

They have only 5 weeks before this competition is suppose to happen my son said he wanted to quit. Hubby and I were ok with it at first but the more I thought about it the more I thought it was a bad idea. I said to my Husband "What if they can't find a replacement? Then he will be made fun of at school because these kids are going to be upset after all this work they couldn't compete. Then what can we do? We can't trade his schools again (we took him out of Public and put him in this Charter School) and we definately can't homeschool, which we wouldn't do in the first place. My Husband said he is going to sit in on the meeting this weekend to see if anything happens, only problem with the competition only 5 weeks away they are going to have a lot more practices after school on Thurs and Friday. Hubby and I can't be there for those. I told him just to try it one more week and if they give him problems we will talk to the parents ourselves, which we have been trying not to do and letting my son try to handle it himself.

I know my son has a temper and he is very sensitive and wears his heart on his sleeve, he needs to learn to stand up for himself and if it gets worse needs to talk to a parent. When he told me about the first time I told him there is nothing i can do since I was not there, he should have told the parent when it was happening if the kids wouldn't stop. Now I feel like a horrible Mom for making him go through with this and I'm afraid if I call these parents I am going to look like "that Parent" that feels my kid has done nothing wrong.

Would you keep him in or would you pull him out? Please don't lecture me about the bullying, my son has bullied other kids and I put him in his place.

**UPDATE**

My son had his weekly Odyssey Meeting Thursday so I left work early to go pick him up. I went to talk to one of the Moms when I went to get him and she came up to me and said right away "I am so sorry." I said "For what?" She said "My daughter told me that she heard Wayne (my son) talking to another kid about wanting to quit Odyssey but you want him to stick it out although they have been teasing him." She said "I did not know anything about it and the first thing we did when we sat down is that I talked to them all about one of the kids talking about quitting due to overly teasing and asked if they wanted anyone to leave and if so they needed to realize we will be done with the group and we aren't going to the competition." I just smiled and Thanked her and I got my son and he was smiling from ear to ear. I asked how practice went and he said great none of the kids picked on him and they all apologized for being mean.  That made me so happy to hear it. She also told Wayne that next time he needed to speak up right away or else she can't do anything to rectify the situation. Now all we need to do is fine one more Judge or else they won't be able to do the compition anyways.

I wish I could volunteer but right now we are on Mandatory OT at work and require to work at least 3 hrs on Saturdays and we have to do a training in order to be a judge and if I have OT I can't do the training so I am hoping one of the Dad's step up. My Hubby cant because he still doesn't know if he can make to the competition since he will be in Rochester NY for the week :(


Owner of Groups:


http://www.cafemom.com/group/114224  May 2005 Kids


http://www.cafemom.com/group/114223 September 2002 kids


http://www.cafemom.com/group/116341 Once Upon A Time (TV Series)

by on Jan. 21, 2013 at 1:11 PM
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Replies (1-10):
LaughingTattoo
by on Jan. 21, 2013 at 1:14 PM
1 mom liked this

I would make him stick it out. This will not be the last time he will have to work with people he doesnt like/people who are mean, ect.....

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mysweet1s
by Member on Jan. 21, 2013 at 1:17 PM

Isn't there an advisor? My kids' school doesn't participate in this activity, but my nieces and nephews are involved.  But, with them, each team has an adult advisor. 

Jinxed8
by Gold Member on Jan. 21, 2013 at 1:18 PM
1 mom liked this

I think you're making the right choice as well - make him finish.  I would give a head's up to the other parents though.

mommybug77
by on Jan. 21, 2013 at 1:23 PM
Where is the adult during this? Have you talked to them?
LuvHugs429
by Gold Member on Jan. 21, 2013 at 1:34 PM
Yes usually 2 parents are advisors but the teasing doesn't happen until they are done and get to go out to play. I told my son to start staying in and wait for me but he then got upset he can't play.

Quoting mysweet1s:

Isn't there an advisor? My kids' school doesn't participate in this activity, but my nieces and nephews are involved.  But, with them, each team has an adult advisor. 

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LuvHugs429
by Gold Member on Jan. 21, 2013 at 1:42 PM
Adults are inside. This happens when they are outside playing waiting for us Parents to come. I've told my son to stay in but he then gets upset he can't play. I have not yet talked to the parents because I don't know how to bring it up without insulting them and knowing how sensitive my own son is. I was told last weekend he wasn't participating well. I was going to bring up why but I didn't.

Quoting mommybug77:

Where is the adult during this? Have you talked to them?
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hollydaze1974
by on Jan. 21, 2013 at 1:47 PM
Sometimes you have to be THAT parent. That's why so many kids are the way they are because noone wants to step up.

Express to your son the pride you have for sticking up for a child that couldn't stand up for himself and now you will step up and stick up for him to prove he did the right thing.
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LuvHugs429
by Gold Member on Jan. 21, 2013 at 1:56 PM
I hear where you are coming from. I'm not good at confrontation my Husband is going to be there next Sunday I know my MIL is there on time he never complains about being picked on on Thursdays.

Quoting hollydaze1974:

Sometimes you have to be THAT parent. That's why so many kids are the way they are because noone wants to step up.



Express to your son the pride you have for sticking up for a child that couldn't stand up for himself and now you will step up and stick up for him to prove he did the right thing.
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hollydaze1974
by on Jan. 21, 2013 at 2:05 PM
Sorry, I don't know how to respond then. I wish you luck. It's unlikely anyone will behave the same with his dad in the room.

Quoting LuvHugs429:

I hear where you are coming from. I'm not good at confrontation my Husband is going to be there next Sunday I know my MIL is there on time he never complains about being picked on on Thursdays.



Quoting hollydaze1974:

Sometimes you have to be THAT parent. That's why so many kids are the way they are because noone wants to step up.





Express to your son the pride you have for sticking up for a child that couldn't stand up for himself and now you will step up and stick up for him to prove he did the right thing.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
mumsy2three
by Shauna on Jan. 21, 2013 at 5:19 PM

I would have him stick it out and finish the project. Make it a teachable moment~ let him know some times in life you will be put in situations where you are surrounded by people you don't particularly like and you just have to suck it up and get through it. Good luck I hope the time left with the project will go by quickly.

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