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You are not my child .. I don't HAVE to do anything

Posted by on Jan. 21, 2013 at 4:43 PM
  • 21 Replies

This is so what I want to say to my BFFs son but can't ... too nice and I don't want to start unnecessary drama. 

His birthday is on the 25th and DD's is on the 26th of January. Last year I threw a party for the both of them at BFF's house since it could hold everyone. He turned 10 and she turned 1, I thought it was cute and it was my birthday present to him.

This year my SM bought DD and I tickets to visit my Uncle & Aunt in South Carolina for her birthday. So I planned her party here for the 2nd of February at a local park. I invited her cousins and my BFF's children. Along with family. So he asked today if I was throwing him a party again this year. It crushed me but at the same time, not. I already told BFF that I wouldn't be able to do it this year. We're a bit strapped with everything that is going on and I wasn't planning on going all out like I did last year. I also told my BFF that I wouldn't be throwing him a party this year because of his attitude, violent outbursts and so on. She has been to the point many times the last 6-8 months of calling the police on him and so on. He has issues that need to addressed and worked on. I told him this as well.

So I explained that we were going out of town and that her party would be the following weekend. He did all the frowny faces and "o" and so on. He's even trying his guilt trip on me that he does with BFF to make me throw a party for him as well. Not working buddy!

So I'm going to send my BFF a message and tell her that if he insists on a joined party again this year, she has to provide his cake along with pitching in with the food, plates and so on.

CafeMom Tickers
by on Jan. 21, 2013 at 4:43 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Firewoman33
by Silver Member on Jan. 21, 2013 at 4:57 PM
4 moms liked this

I know you didn't ask this but since you put it out there.... 

Don't let him insist they join a party. That is only contributing to creating a monster. He is old enough for you to explain to him, that the combined party was a 1 time deal. 

MrsJoe125
by on Jan. 21, 2013 at 5:02 PM
2 moms liked this

 This.  And why doesn't ur bff teach her child it's rude for him to ASK u (or anyone else, including his parents) to throw him a party?  Retorical question.  I don't really want to know the answer if she has to call the police on her own 10 yo.


Quoting Firewoman33:

I know you didn't ask this but since you put it out there.... 

Don't let him insist they join a party. That is only contributing to creating a monster. He is old enough for you to explain to him, that the combined party was a 1 time deal. 


 

snowangel1979
by Bronze Member on Jan. 21, 2013 at 5:03 PM
1 mom liked this
I agree with pp poster.
He's old enough to understand that was a one time thing. I wouldn't do a joint party, then he will be expecting it every year. (and you bff may start expecting it also)

If he wants a party, he needs to ask his mom. That's his parents responsibility.
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mommyneedssleep
by Member on Jan. 21, 2013 at 5:08 PM
I wouldn't combine it again!!! This is a special day for your daughter. I understand she is little but honestly it's not about him at all its about her!!!! Not trying to be mean or anything
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Garnet_Iris11
by Bronze Member on Jan. 21, 2013 at 5:25 PM
1 mom liked this

That's what has been floating around my brain since posting this. She has in a way given up on some things with him. I haven't sent her a message yet .. still writing it so I don't come off mean or anything towards her.

My BFF and their father have always been up from with their children since day one. (Not a big fan because there are certain things to be kept from children, but whatever.) I just know that it will turn into an argument with him. I'm not about to argue with a 10 year old that isn't my own child. LOL

Quoting Firewoman33:

I know you didn't ask this but since you put it out there.... 

Don't let him insist they join a party. That is only contributing to creating a monster. He is old enough for you to explain to him, that the combined party was a 1 time deal. 


Garnet_Iris11
by Bronze Member on Jan. 21, 2013 at 5:28 PM

Circumstances ... he has a very forward way of thinking that wasn't exactly taught respect and so on.

He runs away, destroys the house, beats up on his younger siblings, has threatened violence to other people and himself. She is a single mother and the father actually praised him on his bad behavior and even insists he keeps it up.

Quoting MrsJoe125:

 This.  And why doesn't ur bff teach her child it's rude for him to ASK u (or anyone else, including his parents) to throw him a party?  Retorical question.  I don't really want to know the answer if she has to call the police on her own 10 yo.


Quoting Firewoman33:

I know you didn't ask this but since you put it out there.... 

Don't let him insist they join a party. That is only contributing to creating a monster. He is old enough for you to explain to him, that the combined party was a 1 time deal. 




diaperstodating
by Angel on Jan. 21, 2013 at 5:29 PM
I agree with previous posters, and no more combined parties.
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Bethsunshine
by on Jan. 21, 2013 at 5:29 PM
1 mom liked this

 


Quoting Firewoman33:

I know you didn't ask this but since you put it out there.... 

Don't let him insist they join a party. That is only contributing to creating a monster. He is old enough for you to explain to him, that the combined party was a 1 time deal. 

I agree with this. I also think it was rude of him to ask you if you were throwing a joint party for him. That's an entitled, spoiled attitude and he is old enough to understand that you don't ASK people for things like that. Someone throwing you a party is a GIFT not an obligation. Sounds like your BFF needs to teach her kid some manners.

 




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1boy1girlmama
by on Jan. 21, 2013 at 5:30 PM
2 moms liked this

I honeslty wouldn't write her a message unless she asks about it, if you already told her and already told him. I would just shrug my shoulders and say 'sorry buddy' then move on to another subject. If she asks you about it just say 'oh not this year' then drop it.

Garnet_Iris11
by Bronze Member on Jan. 21, 2013 at 5:31 PM

I had even told them both last year .. don't expect this every year! And after today .. I don't think I will ever, ever do a joined party again.

Quoting snowangel1979:

I agree with pp poster.
He's old enough to understand that was a one time thing. I wouldn't do a joint party, then he will be expecting it every year. (and you bff may start expecting it also)

If he wants a party, he needs to ask his mom. That's his parents responsibility.


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