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Lack of self control

Posted by on Jan. 22, 2013 at 10:05 AM
  • 16 Replies

So my husband is actually trying to bulk up and shed a few pounds. Which is fine, I think he is fine the way he is. Anyways, so I make typical practical healthy dinners, however from time to time, I will make mac and cheese, spaghetti, things with carbs.  And of Fridays, I will we will have a junk meal like Pizza, hot dogs ect. Last week he begged me to please get velveeta shells and cheese, of course I got like 2 boxes.

He is a pig.  What he will do, only with mac and cheese, is stand over the oven, after everyone has eaten and eat the entire pot. Literally. Everytime, or consume the entire pizza one everyone got thier fill. Its really gross. So last night, I needed an easy meal, I had been cleaning, spent half the day in the gym. So I made hamberger helper LOL. He comes home, says "is that all we have to eat" I was like ugh no I made a salad. He goes and eats just the salad.  I ask him "Richard? Are you gonna eat the helper too?" He gets crazy mad, and starts ranting on how I force him to eat all these carbs and the reason he has to work out so much is because I feed him too much. 

I had to take a step back and I kinda laughed it off. I let him know the reason why he was in the gym is because he can't control his eating, its plain disgusting to watch him eat. I let him know as honest as I could, including the fact that at least once a week , he eats sooooooooooo much it makes him so sick he ends up throwing it all up in the middle of the night. He's right though on one thing if he didn't go to the gym , he would be soooooooo big. He has no control of it. And he can't stop, even sometimes late at night he will sneak out to taco bell. I worry about him, I just can't understand how he has no self control.



**Let me make this clearer, since it was missed, I NEEDED AN EASY MEAL.  But once a week I wanna break so I make something easy because the 6 other days I make from scratch, Healthy low carb 0 sugar 4 food group foods. I spend 16 hours of my day cleaning, working, going to the gym running errands, and cooking. Breakfast and Dinner. So I make one junk dinner alwasy on Fridays, I cannot control what he does for eating outside the home, I know on fridays, if I make helper or pizza or mac and cheese, he stands over the stove and eats with a large spoon literally as fast as he can, literally slurping it up**

by on Jan. 22, 2013 at 10:05 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Jinxed8
by Gold Member on Jan. 22, 2013 at 11:24 AM

yikes ... he binge eats ! That's not good.  But then again neither is constant snacking which is what my husband does.  Yesterday we ate out, he had a salad, grilled chicken, rice and potato wedges.  Came home and then an hour later he wanted ice cream, an hour later he pulled a bag of pretzels out of the pantry and washed the whole thing down with a coke ... then he complains he has a pot belly now ... uh Hellooooooo ?   That being said I"m not much better, I could go without eating but I tend to eat with him hence my pot belly too !

wifeynmommie80
by on Jan. 22, 2013 at 11:43 AM
Quoting Jinxed8:

yikes ... he binge eats ! That's not good.  But then again neither is constant snacking which is what my husband does.  Yesterday we ate out, he had a salad, grilled chicken, rice and potato wedges.  Came home and then an hour later he wanted ice cream, an hour later he pulled a bag of pretzels out of the pantry and washed the whole thing down with a coke ... then he complains he has a pot belly now ... uh Hellooooooo ?   That being said I"m not much better, I could go without eating but I tend to eat with him hence my pot belly too !

He over orders too like at McDonalds all the time, he will get a salad plus a chicken sandwhich or even worse at taco bell, he will get a nacho bell grande plus a potato burrito.

CorpCityGrl
by Bronze Member on Jan. 22, 2013 at 2:18 PM

He's a binge eater and that's terrible.

Can you possibly have him start a food journal for a little bit?  This is a good way for him to see what he is eating and how unhealthy his binging habit is because it's a visual representation of his eating patterns. 

ruby_jewel_04
by Member on Jan. 22, 2013 at 2:24 PM
Omg. That's my husband to. Problem is he doesn't go to the gym. He's gotten grossly fat. He's 5 ft 10, 360 pounds, and a size 4xl. I have no desire to be intimate with him, or even see him with his shirt off anymore. He grosses me out. And nothing I say changes anything. He's gong to leave me a widow because of his lack of self control.
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lovinmyboys...
by Bronze Member on Jan. 22, 2013 at 2:27 PM
Stop buying junky, processed food. Better that he binges on green beans rather than mac and cheese.
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christineT79
by on Jan. 22, 2013 at 2:38 PM

Mabey have a good heart to heart with him & make changes for the whole family. Get rid of all junk & unhealthy snacks. Do a major food shopping trip & buy all healthy snacks & healthier options for dinners. If he goes behind your back for fast food then it's on him.

ihave1
by Member on Jan. 22, 2013 at 3:10 PM

 it only seems I have self  control when  my dh is here.  This past week I have gained back 4 of the pounds I have lost.  I am so sad now.  No more junk for me!! 

ihave1
by Member on Jan. 22, 2013 at 3:11 PM

 

Quoting ruby_jewel_04:

Omg. That's my husband to. Problem is he doesn't go to the gym. He's gotten grossly fat. He's 5 ft 10, 360 pounds, and a size 4xl. I have no desire to be intimate with him, or even see him with his shirt off anymore. He grosses me out. And nothing I say changes anything. He's gong to leave me a widow because of his lack of self control.

Sad. Go for walks together as a family after dinne

 

import1a92
by on Jan. 22, 2013 at 7:12 PM
1 mom liked this

What is causing him to over eat? Is he stressed about something going on in his life? There has got to be some sort of deeper issue, than he loves to eat. Find that out first, then schedule him for a physical through his doctor. Have his doctor tell him his issues and health concerns. Ask to join him during the physical. They will usually weigh him and tell him his BMI (body mass index). Once that information is shared, then explain your personal concerns. Maybe there is no major issues and he needs a little professional counseling to help with mind control. 

I'm truly surprised no one had mentioned this any sooner. For shame ladies... smh... LOL! It really makes you come off as a very rude and not a supportive wife if all you say to him is 'stop eating so much', 'you're fat, it's gross' and etc... That would make any man, woman or child shut down as well if you expect him to listen to anything positive you have to say. Granted, I don't know your situations, but still your posts are a little disturbing to read. There are so many other constructive outlets you can seek to help your loved one. Get creative, be compassionate and above all be supportive! 

I agree with corpcitygrl's response to have him keep a food journal or just a suggestion to have him add the myfitnesspal app on his phone (of course if he has access) and track what he eats to make it easier. It might make him realize "enough is enough". 

My father is a perfect example of a binge eater. He always weighed under 200lbs all his life, very active, fit because he was a certified mechanic and always on the go. He would eat 5 full racks of ribs and STILL ask for more after a full day of healthy meals. He would beg my mother to make him a cake in the middle of the night and he would polish it off in an hour, four times a week, by himself. Icing and all! I am sincerely not over exaggerating at all. Eleven years ago, my father went in for a work physical at 55 years old and the doctor wanted him to lose 40lbs to manage his height to weight statistic ratio. After the various doctors and shuffling him around town, they finally suggested he go on the Atkins diet. He was on it for 4 months, lost 20lbs and gave it up. A month later he was diagnosed with type 2 diabetes. He still won't go on any diet. He does however watch what he eats a little better and indulges in sugar free goodies now, but he is a very stubborn Italian man and doesn't try to stay at his proper blood sugar number. He never goes above 200 that is the only slight plus I can mention. My mom took it upon herself to find out the underlining issues with him on many occasions over the 35 years they've been married. The reason he binge eats was a deeper underlining issue from his childhood of how my so-called, now dead, grandparents treated him, stress from his jobs, and stress from making ends meet when he had a family to support. Food was comforting to him and never told him he was worthless. 

wifeynmommie80
by on Jan. 22, 2013 at 7:21 PM

He's not overwieght. Thats the thing, not even close. He is about 5'10 and about 180. He is obsessed with his wieght which might be why he does this. But it kills me, only because he will eat like this. And then ask for me to buy the food and when I do get pissed. Because he has no self control. Thats why I said, if he didn't go to the gym he would be overwieght. And btw to all the ladies stating to buy healthy food. I DO BUY HEALTHY FOOD. We eat very healthy throughout the week. But there are gonna be days I am tired from working, going to they gym, running errands. so lets say once a week I make a junk meal so sue me. I made a junk meal and he can't control himself and pukes it up everytime. I just don't get it.

Quoting import1a92:

What is causing him to over eat? Is he stressed about something going on in his life? There has got to be some sort of deeper issue, than he loves to eat. Find that out first, then schedule him for a physical through his doctor. Have his doctor tell him his issues and health concerns. Ask to join him during the physical. They will usually weigh him and tell him his BMI (body mass index). Once that information is shared, then explain your personal concerns. Maybe there is no major issues and he needs a little professional counseling to help with mind control. 

I'm truly surprised no one had mentioned this any sooner. For shame ladies... smh... LOL! It really makes you come off as a very rude and not a supportive wife if all you say to him is 'stop eating so much', 'you're fat, it's gross' and etc... That would make any man, woman or child shut down as well if you expect him to listen to anything positive you have to say. Granted, I don't know your situations, but still your posts are a little disturbing to read. There are so many other constructive outlets you can seek to help your loved one. Get creative, be compassionate and above all be supportive! 

I agree with corpcitygrl's response to have him keep a food journal or just a suggestion to have him add the myfitnesspal app on his phone (of course if he has access) and track what he eats to make it easier. It might make him realize "enough is enough". 

My father is a perfect example of a binge eater. He always weighed under 200lbs all his life, very active, fit because he was a certified mechanic and always on the go. He would eat 5 full racks of ribs and STILL ask for more after a full day of healthy meals. He would beg my mother to make him a cake in the middle of the night and he would polish it off in an hour, four times a week, by himself. Icing and all! I am sincerely not over exaggerating at all. Eleven years ago, my father went in for a work physical at 55 years old and the doctor wanted him to lose 40lbs to manage his height to weight statistic ratio. After the various doctors and shuffling him around town, they finally suggested he go on the Atkins diet. He was on it for 4 months, lost 20lbs and gave it up. A month later he was diagnosed with type 2 diabetes. He still won't go on any diet. He does however watch what he eats a little better and indulges in sugar free goodies now, but he is a very stubborn Italian man and doesn't try to stay at his proper blood sugar number. He never goes above 200 that is the only slight plus I can mention. My mom took it upon herself to find out the underlining issues with him on many occasions over the 35 years they've been married. The reason he binge eats was a deeper underlining issue from his childhood of how my so-called, now dead, grandparents treated him, stress from his jobs, and stress from making ends meet when he had a family to support. Food was comforting to him and never told him he was worthless. 


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