I just need to cry vent express what's inside before I explode😢

[PISCIS29]

My heart is broken

I'm out of breath

The pain just dwindles

But never let's me rest

The shadow is cold

Still can't get used

To hurtful chill

From far away

I see the smiles

They look so happy

Wonder where it went wrong

Then I remember how long it's been

Since I could remember

I just never fit in

Funny how things just work out

Every family has some one

That they shut out

You'd think that after 15 yrs

This pain would no longer

Bring me tears.

But the pain is deep within my heart

It is something that will never part

If I disappeared do you think they'd care

Would they even remember if I was ever there ?

Who knows. Who cares?

I do I try not but it hurts too much.

Wonder what it's like to be loved that much.

[mommy_2_be_2010]

Bump

[Babujai]

 

[me-n-mygirls]

I love this!
I feel like you jumped in my heart....
I am sorry for your pain :(
(((HUGS)))

[PISCIS29]

It's my family. It's like they don't remember they have an older sister/daughter. I'm done. I can't deal with this anymore. And what kills me the most is that dh thinks its bc of him when it's not.

[cecisMama]

Have u tried talking to ur parents or family members about how u feel?
Seems like 15ys is a looonnnggg time to still b carrying w/this!
Bring it out in the open....then fix the problem lil' by lil'
Or, move on w/urself.
U don't need ppl to make u feel worth or complete.
U have to do that 4 urself girl, regardleSs of what crap u go through! :(

[TattoomamaPink]

BUMP!

[PISCIS29]

Tried. All I get is empty promises about change, reprimanded how they are a God fearing catholic family who does not have favorites or that I'm imagining shit.

Quoting cecisMama:

Have u tried talking to ur parents or family members about how u feel?

Seems like 15ys is a looonnnggg time to still b carrying w/this!

Bring it out in the open....then fix the problem lil' by lil'

Or, move on w/urself.

U don't need ppl to make u feel worth or complete.

U have to do that 4 urself girl, regardleSs of what crap u go through! :(

[cecisMama]

If u have tried, really tried & its ben 15yrs
Then let it go chica.
They r not gonna change & that's the way its going to be!

The only thing that u CAN control & change- is how they make u feel! :)

Prepare urself everytime u have to b around them & treat the whole thing like a high school Reunion!
Fake laughs, xtra nice & B.S up the wazoo! ;)

I wish we could always count on our family for support & friendship, but sometimes- its just NOT gonna happen:)

So, u surround urself w/good friends & u solidify ur relationship w/ur own kids & hubby! :)

No need to look for something that's not there-
Bc life keeps ticking & u miSs out on what u REALLY have :)

Quoting PISCIS29:

Tried. All I get is empty promises about change, reprimanded how they are a God fearing catholic family who does not have favorites or that I'm imagining shit.

Quoting cecisMama:

Have u tried talking to ur parents or family members about how u feel?


Seems like 15ys is a looonnnggg time to still b carrying w/this!


Bring it out in the open....then fix the problem lil' by lil'


Or, move on w/urself.


U don't need ppl to make u feel worth or complete.


U have to do that 4 urself girl, regardleSs of what crap u go through! :(

[PISCIS29]

God you make it sound so easy. Believe me I've tried. I've even tried going days without calling home but I'm always the first to fold. I have been trying to get some approval from them SOME recognition but still haven't been able to. You have no idea how HARD it is to be the first born and treated like your not imp. then I have to hear from other pple how IM the bad one for not visiting or calling. For Gods same we live 3 blocks from each other how hard can it b for them to visit.

Quoting cecisMama:

If u have tried, really tried & its ben 15yrs

Then let it go chica.

They r not gonna change & that's the way its going to be!



The only thing that u CAN control & change- is how they make u feel! :)



Prepare urself everytime u have to b around them & treat the whole thing like a high school Reunion!

Fake laughs, xtra nice & B.S up the wazoo! ;)



I wish we could always count on our family for support & friendship, but sometimes- its just NOT gonna happen:)



So, u surround urself w/good friends & u solidify ur relationship w/ur own kids & hubby! :)



No need to look for something that's not there-

Bc life keeps ticking & u miSs out on what u REALLY have :)

Quoting PISCIS29:

Tried. All I get is empty promises about change, reprimanded how they are a God fearing catholic family who does not have favorites or that I'm imagining shit.

Quoting cecisMama:

Have u tried talking to ur parents or family members about how u feel?



Seems like 15ys is a looonnnggg time to still b carrying w/this!



Bring it out in the open....then fix the problem lil' by lil'



Or, move on w/urself.



U don't need ppl to make u feel worth or complete.



U have to do that 4 urself girl, regardleSs of what crap u go through! :(

[WandaSue]

 hugs mama

Quoting PISCIS29:

It's my family. It's like they don't remember they have an older sister/daughter. I'm done. I can't deal with this anymore. And what kills me the most is that dh thinks its bc of him when it's not.