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secondary infertility / only children

Posted by on Jan. 28, 2013 at 4:52 PM
  • 23 Replies

 

I don't know if there is anyone out there experiencing this, I am sure there is!

I am 35 yrs old, have a fantastic, happy and healthy 2.5 yr old little boy. He is the center of our world! We have been trying to have another baby for a long time now (1.5 years) however it is not happening. It took us a while to get pregnant with him and I feel blessed and very happy to have him in our life. I am aware there are people who don't have one child so again I feel incredibly lucky. However I also feel guilty b/c I am afraid he is going to be an only child. He loves playing with other little kids and is very social. I just want him going through life feeling lonely.

We are not in the situation or want to do IVF or IUI due to the expense and I am not into the synthetic hormones. I had a c-section and about a year ago had a chemical pregnancy and since then have not been able to get pregnant. All ultrasounds come out ok, the blood hormones tests come out ok, I have been experiencing some symptoms that make the docs think it could be scar tissue or endometriosis. However the symptoms didn't start until after the chemical..or maybe it was a coincidence. idk!

My husband will be 35 in a few months and he feels if we have another one, great, if not, he is happy with my son and feels blessed. He does not want to be 38-39 and have a baby (due to risks, age, age, fairness to the child, etc.) which in my opinion nothing is wrong with that these days. I understand ideally it would be nice to be younger but things don't always work out that way. SO we are not on the same page when it comes to that, he wants to stop trying eventaully but I am afraid I will never get pregnant again and my son will be an only child and I feel so incredinly guilty! I mean when is it smart to stop trying? I know many factors come into play, finances, personal factors, family, etc.

Any thoughts on only children? secondary infertility issues? Age?

by on Jan. 28, 2013 at 4:52 PM
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Replies (1-10):
iuangina
by on Jan. 28, 2013 at 4:55 PM
Try acupuncture.
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tyler0607
by on Jan. 28, 2013 at 4:58 PM

Yes, I have heard of that! I just wish it was covered by insurance!

Thank you though, the more and more I hear about it the more I want to try it.

countrymomma81
by Platinum Member on Jan. 28, 2013 at 5:00 PM

No, sorry. I do know of quite a few people who are completely infertile, not even having one child. I don't know anyone in your situation though. 

Good luck. 

kitty8199
by Bronze Member on Jan. 28, 2013 at 5:03 PM
Chirpractic is another option. Sometimes covered by insurance, but still affordable if not

Quoting tyler0607:

Yes, I have heard of that! I just wish it was covered by insurance!


Thank you though, the more and more I hear about it the more I want to try it.

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dearg76
by on Jan. 28, 2013 at 5:54 PM

I have to say, this sounds almost just like me and my husband. Our daughter is 2 1/2 and is the light of our world. We had a hard time getting pregnant, took several years but thankfully we did. I have been thinking about having another one also. There is no guarentee that it will happen again for us. I am 36 and my husband is 40. We have just decided that we will not try after I turn 39 as the same reasons (risks, age, ...) 

I am not really sure if I want to head down that long dissappointing road of trying to get pregant again. I would love another child but not sure if it will happen. finances are tough right now and won't get better for another year then I will be almost 38 and only have 1 year to get pregnant. And honestly my husband would love another one but is prefectly fine if we don't.  It took so long with the 1st that we were not sure it would ever happen for us. 

lexxie28
by on Jan. 28, 2013 at 6:23 PM

I am experiencing infertility after having my daughter in 2010. I am 21 years old and have been trying to concieve for a year and one month now. I was just diagnosed with celiacs disease so maybe that was the problem. Good luck!

MotherofMiles
by on Jan. 28, 2013 at 6:52 PM
Hi! We are an infertile couple and were blessed with a baby boy by adoption. Chances are he will be our only one and I'm ok with that. one is certainly better than none:) just enjoy him:) there are advantages of being an only child:)
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DragonMother10
by on Jan. 28, 2013 at 7:00 PM
Have you tried natural infertility boosters? Worth a shot. Do you use an ovulation predictor? Don't give up just yet! I thought I would never have a baby and at 28, I was happy to have such a joy. I hope baby #2 won't take so long. Keep hope alive!
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hollydaze1974
by on Jan. 28, 2013 at 7:43 PM
3 moms liked this
I was an " only" and I survived just fine I had neighborhood friends, dance class friends, school friends.... Siblings provide constanr companionship.... Constant.
Time alone and entertaining myself was just as important as making friends.

I've no problem with multiple children . I have two .... But they are eleven years apart.... So it's like two " onlies". They love each other dearly, but both need time alone, like, serious meltdowns and room/ crib time.

I guess I'm saying there is nothing wrong with just having just one, no where in the invisible parent handbook does it say "a good, solid family must have multiple children ."

Good luck.
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tyler0607
by on Jan. 28, 2013 at 8:23 PM

wow, yes, very similar to our situation! Thank you for sharing!!!!

Thank you!

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