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Need to Vent!!!

Posted by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 12:38 AM
  • 11 Replies

I love you ladies and you all are great but I really need to vent to someone, so I went to the store today and ran into an old co-worker and we were just catching up when she asked me if I had any more kids, I told her yes that I had one more (I was pregnant with my second when I worked with her) and that we were trying for a 4th she then turned to me and said in a serious face "wow don't you think you be happy with the 3 you have, I have been trying for my first for 4 years and I would just be thankful for that one"

I was thinking WTF!!! I am very, very thankful for my kids and I love being a mother more then anyone knows and I cherish every one of them because I know what I had to go thru to have them. I am just floored because she knows that for 10 years I tried to get pregnant with my second (the only breaks we took was when I went to basic trainin and deployed to Iraq) and it took me over a year to get pregnant with my third, so I don't know how she can say I am not grateful. I know better then most how heart breaking it can be ttc.

I wanted to tell her off but at the same time I could feel her pain, so I told her that I hope she has one soon, gave her the name of my doctor so she cold get a second opinion and left. It was just really frustrating her someone kind of tell me that I am not entitled to have another kid because I have 3 already. Ok vent over lol

by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 12:38 AM
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Replies (1-10):
BlsdWithTwOKids
by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 1:27 AM
2 moms liked this

Although that is sad what she's going through,but some people should really keep their mouth closed,I was always taught if you don't have anything nice to say then do not say it at all.

I am sorry she said that to You.

MixedCooke
by Silver Member on Jan. 31, 2013 at 3:02 AM

nah she was just jealous because she wanted the baby so much but hadnt been blessed yet and seeing you with so many just hurt her even more seeing how happy your are and how much easier it has been since you got passed your difficult time.  Dont be mad.  Im sure she didnt mean it in that way. 

I always dreamt of having 3 kids minimum but I have already miscarried twice and I will be 35 years old this year and given that the last one resulted due to a chromosomal defect, I dont think I will ever see that third child and it does pain me when i see a Mama happily with her 3 kids.  Im not mad that she has all of them but that I wish that was me too.

MixedCooke
by Silver Member on Jan. 31, 2013 at 3:10 AM

 


Quoting BlsdWithTwOKids:

Although that is sad what she's going through,but some people should really keep their mouth closed,I was always taught if you don't have anything nice to say then do not say it at all.

I am sorry she said that to You.


 My Mom taught me that as well although my tongue hurts from biting it sooooo much!  LOL

erikadi
by Member on Jan. 31, 2013 at 10:50 AM

I can see your frustration. Trying to conceive is a touchy subject. It is human nature to be jealousy and angry at others for having what you can't have. She did not have to say that though. You handled it really well.



Cate1129
by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 11:27 AM
She probably said it from a place of pain because of what she's going thru. She probably didn't realize how hurtful her words were. She can only see her struggle. I know she shouldn't have said it, but I know that I've been in the middle of a tough time and said stupid things out of my own pain.
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irishmommy81
by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 1:48 PM

 And I can understand that I had been in her place, I still have difficulty ttc thats why I didn't go off it just hurt because I feel like she was saying I was ungrateful and she should have known because I had confided in her about my years of ttcing.


Quoting MixedCooke:

nah she was just jealous because she wanted the baby so much but hadnt been blessed yet and seeing you with so many just hurt her even more seeing how happy your are and how much easier it has been since you got passed your difficult time.  Dont be mad.  Im sure she didnt mean it in that way. 

I always dreamt of having 3 kids minimum but I have already miscarried twice and I will be 35 years old this year and given that the last one resulted due to a chromosomal defect, I dont think I will ever see that third child and it does pain me when i see a Mama happily with her 3 kids.  Im not mad that she has all of them but that I wish that was me too.


 

koondogg
by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 2:41 PM

Maybe she said it out of jealously? It was wrong of her to say yes, but she brought up the question also. I have a friend who completely lives off of welfare and has never worked a day in her life, she is 23. She refuses to get married because she knows her live in bf will make enough to support them. She has him pay her child support and he "supposedly lives with his mom" when in reality lives there. I can honestly say I do not speak to her any longer. She now has 2 kids trying for a 3rd. Her 16 year old sister has 2 kids and wants a 3rd with no man in her life. She has two different baby-daddys. I on the other hand, married full time job and just went thru a miscarriage. I want a second one so badly, it hurts. I can't help but to have negative feelings for my so called friend who is taking advantage of the system. So, I'm sorry but I guess I can see it both ways. Although, I don't think it was really her place to say aloud.

irishmommy81
by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 2:52 PM

 My husband works and I go to school we don't stuggle finacially we live inside out means, I wouldn never have a kid if I couldn't give them a good life.


Quoting koondogg:

Maybe she said it out of jealously? It was wrong of her to say yes, but she brought up the question also. I have a friend who completely lives off of welfare and has never worked a day in her life, she is 23. She refuses to get married because she knows her live in bf will make enough to support them. She has him pay her child support and he "supposedly lives with his mom" when in reality lives there. I can honestly say I do not speak to her any longer. She now has 2 kids trying for a 3rd. Her 16 year old sister has 2 kids and wants a 3rd with no man in her life. She has two different baby-daddys. I on the other hand, married full time job and just went thru a miscarriage. I want a second one so badly, it hurts. I can't help but to have negative feelings for my so called friend who is taking advantage of the system. So, I'm sorry but I guess I can see it both ways. Although, I don't think it was really her place to say aloud.


 

Jinxed8
by Gold Member on Jan. 31, 2013 at 4:26 PM

She said it out of pain - ttc and not being able to is very hard on a woman.  I remember my BFF had a hard time conceiving and her SIL got pregnant twice in a row and when the pregnancy was announced, BFF went in different room and brooke down.  For that one moment she was resenting her SIL for being able to get pregnant so easy. It happens...   Don't take it the wrong way.   Once she has a child of her own she'll come around

thecoffeefairy
by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 4:34 PM
I agree. Sometimes even really good people behave poorly when grieving. Not being able to conceive must be Terrib ly painful.


Quoting Jinxed8:

She said it out of pain - ttc and not being able to is very hard on a woman.  I remember my BFF had a hard time conceiving and her SIL got pregnant twice in a row and when the pregnancy was announced, BFF went in different room and brooke down.  For that one moment she was resenting her SIL for being able to get pregnant so easy. It happens...   Don't take it the wrong way.   Once she has a child of her own she'll come around


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