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newborn tips? and a little about me

Posted by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 3:46 PM
  • 21 Replies

hi guys! my name is katie, im 30, and i have 2 children, a 5 week old and a 5 year old. though they both are the light of my life and define me as a person, theyre a handful! :) madison is my 5 week old, and at night, she cries and cries and we're not sure exactly why. we've switched formulas to soy, which only made her constipated. my son is taking to his new sister beautifully, he's always willing to help mommy, etc. but he struggles daily to focus as he suffers from ADD. his daddy and i dont want to put him on medication, as we have tried that and it didn't help. plus we are not advocates of medicating a 5 year old. im also looking for a support group for josh and maddie's father, as he may be suffering from postpardum depression. any advice or tips would be greatly appreciated!

by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 3:46 PM
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by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 9:51 PM

Hospitals have lactation consultants who will come out to your home or meet you in their office.  Do you know if there is anything like that just for new mothers in general in your area (since you aren't breastfeeding)?  Have you talked to the doctor about possible reasons for her crying?  It could also be colic.  The doctor should have some helpful advice and things you can try to calm her.

Bravo for not puting your son on medication.  I think too often parents automatically jump straight to medication because it's a quick fix.  I'm sorry I don't have any other advice.

by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 11:36 PM
About switching to soy. I did with my son and the same thing happened, he got costipated. I tried a few different brands and Good Start Alsoy worked for him. It's worth a try. Good luck.
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by Member on Feb. 1, 2013 at 12:18 AM

My DD had the same issue when on soy.... it is frustrating, I found placing a warm wash cloth on her tummy and some tummy massages worked wonders.  About not sleeping at night and crying, we use to put one of my shirts or something of mine with my DD to help soothe her. The smell and all.

I do not have much knowledge on ADD, sorry.

by on Feb. 1, 2013 at 10:49 AM

Try putting the baby in a sling or wrap at night. Being close to you in them helps calm them down. Swaddling may help too. My son has ADHD, he is 10 now and we just medicated him. It helped him so much! We went back and forth for years. My doctor finally told me that now that school is getting harder he may start falling far behind (he does have reading issues). Since the meds he is getting straight A's and is excelling at soccer! It is a hard decision and you have to try a few meds to see how they work. Good luck. It will pass. Sometimes it just takes time. Step away and let someone watch the kids for an hour or so and go relax or shop or walk in the park.

by Linnette on Feb. 1, 2013 at 11:27 AM
I don't have any helpful advice but welcome to the group, Katie! We're glad you're here. :)
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by on Feb. 1, 2013 at 11:46 AM

As far as formular goes, I like Nestle Good start soy.  It seemed easier on the tummy.

This isn't helpful, but it's wonderful that are not medicating your son.  I know in my city there several community centers with activities for that age.  I don't know what he is into but my youngest has virtually no attention span (even for 3)  and getting her into 2 hours of tumbling and 4 hours of preschool and a playground play group did wonders.  We are also going to take a painting class together.  Also, this may sound off, but my middle one NEEDED her TV time to veg out in order to focus at school.  I make sure she watches an episode of something before school.  She has great behavior and grades, it just does something for her mood.

Wonderful that you can have such a sympathetic view on your husband. Again it's not helpful, but a lot of women with a new born would criticize before saying he needs help, so he is fortunate to have you.

by Bronze Member on Feb. 1, 2013 at 11:49 AM

I did not think that men could have ppd.

Your baby could have colic.

by on Feb. 1, 2013 at 11:59 AM

If she sleeps in a crib, ask your doctor pediatrician about a crib sling (maybe the have them on ebay?) and elevate the head of her crib a few inches by putting furniture lifters under the legs on that end. (It will still be stable). My son went through the same thing and it took me months and an admission to a children's hospital to figure out that he had acid reflux. NOT all babies spit up with acid reflux and it causes them to be VERY uncomfortable when they lay flat. He was a different baby overnight. 

The sling is like the kind you would carry her in, except it has straps that velcro to the crib to make absolutely sure she can't slide since the crib will be on a slight angle. There's a VERY low risk that could happen, but better to be safe with the sling.

by on Feb. 1, 2013 at 3:03 PM

 Oh, I have been itching to share something I read for my own baby and it worked for me. My ds is now 4 months. I bought the book called " the wonder weeks". It helped me understand what ds was going through at that age and why he was crying....which in turn took away my own stress and guilt of not being able to calm him. then I read a sample on my kindle of the book called "The happiest baby on the block." I'm planning on purchasing it but haven't gotten around to it yet but within that sample was the cure I was looking for to help my fussy 3 month old.  I kind of wished I had found this book sooner. Its called the 5 S's. I'm not sure if I have them in the right order but here goes. Swaddle, Swing (in your arms I suppose), Shhh(saying shhhh over and over into their ear), sucking(something to suck on, pacifier, breast if your breastfeeding or bottle if your formula feeding,) and sound (as in white noise, like a vacuum cleaner in the distance for example) I have an app on my kindle called sleepy time, it has various sounds you can choose from including a vacuum cleaner. Its not a loud annoying vacuum cleaner sound, its kind of muted and its perfect. I put it next to ds while I'm calming him. According to the book you sometimes have to do all of these, not just one. Its recreating the way it seemed within your womb and its very comforting for them. I read that babies not only grow body wise and brain wise but also nuerologically and each time they are going to have a growth spurt in thier physcial or mental development they do go through a fussy phase.think of it as they are about to impress you with all they are getting ready to learn. It puts a happier light on why they are crying so much rather than worrying so much about whats wrong with them.As long as this is truly what it is and baby don't have gas or something else wrong. Since they are nuerologically immature its hard for them to deal with all this new stuff going on in this world outside of the womb. I don't know if it was coincidence that my baby seemed to get less fussy after I applied these techniques but he did. They also said in the book that the 5 S's technique, called "the cuddle cure", may take some time to perfect but for me it worked right away.Could have been coincidence but its worth a try. I wish i had those books for my first two kids. I always go searching for great books to help me through this parenting thing but you have to be careful what you pick. Some I don't agree with but some are right on the money :) and so helpful. I really love these two books.

by on Feb. 1, 2013 at 3:15 PM

 Another thing is that some babies need to be held a lot. I found that purchasing a wrap or sling that you wear like a carrier(I got mine online. some are just very long strips of wide stretchy fabric that you wrap a certain way around you to hold the baby next to you and some are like shirts you can just slip on. I accidently purchased the former thinking it was the latter but it worked) The one you have to wrap yourself though takes a little bit of time to get it all wrapped on you and when a baby is screaming a little time can seem like a lot. I wish I would have gotten one that i could just slip over my  helped out in the early months. He was always quiet and fell asleep not long after he was snug up against my body. Then I would VERY carefully lay him down so as not to wake him. This also gave me some freedom to do stuff since my arms were free even though I was carrying him. Ds got to big for the wrap though so now I'm moving on to the regular carrier...maybe, I might not need to because he's gotten a lot better and I don't know if I even need it anymore.

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