What would you do...baby sister issues? ***edited***
I have a kid sister that is turning 11yrs old (I am 32yrs) and she is a half sister. My dad calls her his "little girl" but I am "daddy's girl" I spent her first 5 yrs away studying so the few times I saw dad between her being 2 and 5 I didn't saw her. On her 5th birthday she kicked me out because she didn't really like dad hugging me hello. Since then she nevers speaks to me, ignores any gift and throws a tantrum if I am near dad. 7mo ago I had my boy and she simply adores him. I was invited for the first time in 6yrs to her birthday - she actually asked my older sister if I would go as she realy wants her nephew to be there. So obviously I am taking him.
The issue is that 85% of the family that will be there still don't know my baby. In fact most of the ones that seen him before only saw him at the hospital. So I am scare to have her grow jealous of him because everyone is paying attention to dad's first grandson instead of dad's little girl. So how would you handle this?
*** It seems some of you got the wrong impression and I guess it might be due to language barrier...so here are a few facts: ***
1. My sister isn't a brat; in fact she is very kind and respectful.
2.Dad and her mom doesn't allow her to do whatever she wants or spoil her rotten. If she gets out of line she is grounded and held accountable.
3. We have seen each other countless times after that birthday (6yrs ago) and as long as I don't get near dad she is fine.
4. Birthdays are a personal celebration in our families and as a rule we invite only the ppl we want too. No extra relatives or parents choice.
5. And yes, I was worried that she would get jealouse of my boy but at the same time not going felt to me inmature.
Birthday was yesterday and I chose to call her mom when we arrived and ask her to send my sister out to help me out. When she got to the car she had a huge smile in her face. I asked her if she wanted to help me with the stroller and then I put my boy in it. I told her that this was the first time our grams would see my boy - not true but she got alzhimers so everytime is the first time - and I thought she as the birthday girl should be the one showing baby off. She got super excited and waited till I was done grabbing everything from the car. She was very careful pushing the stroller and finaly show him to grams. When grandma asked who the baby was her answer "My nephew; you know my sister's baby" Everyone was shock! She show him to everyone in the party; pay little to no attention to any other baby there but was very carefull around my boy. Even asked our cousin to lower the music volume each time my boy took a nap. At the end of the birthday she took me to a side and said "I know I've been bad to you and hope you can forgive me. Dad explained that we are sisters and that makes your son my nephew and if I want to see him I have to have your approval so I hope you can see I can be good and approve of me being near my nephew"
Jaw dropped
I basically just hug her and told her it was very big of her to apologize and that she had earn major points with me. I told her that as long as she kept her grades up, be respectful and had both her parents approval I thought we could make o point to see each other once a week. She is comming for dinner next Friday!
The issue is that 85% of the family that will be there still don't know my baby. In fact most of the ones that seen him before only saw him at the hospital. So I am scare to have her grow jealous of him because everyone is paying attention to dad's first grandson instead of dad's little girl. So how would you handle this?
*** It seems some of you got the wrong impression and I guess it might be due to language barrier...so here are a few facts: ***
1. My sister isn't a brat; in fact she is very kind and respectful.
2.Dad and her mom doesn't allow her to do whatever she wants or spoil her rotten. If she gets out of line she is grounded and held accountable.
3. We have seen each other countless times after that birthday (6yrs ago) and as long as I don't get near dad she is fine.
4. Birthdays are a personal celebration in our families and as a rule we invite only the ppl we want too. No extra relatives or parents choice.
5. And yes, I was worried that she would get jealouse of my boy but at the same time not going felt to me inmature.
Birthday was yesterday and I chose to call her mom when we arrived and ask her to send my sister out to help me out. When she got to the car she had a huge smile in her face. I asked her if she wanted to help me with the stroller and then I put my boy in it. I told her that this was the first time our grams would see my boy - not true but she got alzhimers so everytime is the first time - and I thought she as the birthday girl should be the one showing baby off. She got super excited and waited till I was done grabbing everything from the car. She was very careful pushing the stroller and finaly show him to grams. When grandma asked who the baby was her answer "My nephew; you know my sister's baby" Everyone was shock! She show him to everyone in the party; pay little to no attention to any other baby there but was very carefull around my boy. Even asked our cousin to lower the music volume each time my boy took a nap. At the end of the birthday she took me to a side and said "I know I've been bad to you and hope you can forgive me. Dad explained that we are sisters and that makes your son my nephew and if I want to see him I have to have your approval so I hope you can see I can be good and approve of me being near my nephew"
Jaw dropped
I basically just hug her and told her it was very big of her to apologize and that she had earn major points with me. I told her that as long as she kept her grades up, be respectful and had both her parents approval I thought we could make o point to see each other once a week. She is comming for dinner next Friday!
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on Feb. 1, 2013 at 11:37 PM
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New Member
on Feb. 2, 2013 at 1:55 AM
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Not exactly same thing...but my niece was super jealous of my son and papa. My niece is 7 years older than my son and my parents just about raised her. My son was 2nd grandchild so she had nana and papa all to herself for 7 years (actually she had everyone to herself, we all spoiled her rotten)...when he was born 16 days after her bday and her party was 2 weeks later if someone started doting on baby you could see she was getting upset, I would take him and say let's let birthday girl hold him awhile its her day, and then would tell adult let's get together someday soon to spoil him a little big sister is still adjusting (my niece has and still calls my son her brother, and my son called her sissy Brooke) her name is Lindsey Brooke. Maybe that will help some it worked for us, most adults understood and it didn't take long for Sissy Brooke to come around!
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Why did everyone agree to a child's wishes to have her sister removed from her party? Sorry but to me that is supporting bratty behavior. I couldn't read past that part.
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She's 11. She's too old for this nonsense and has gotten away with it for far too long, imo. Go. If she starts getting jealous, have your dad and her mom (i.e. not you) remind her that SHE wanted the baby there. And if she throws a fit, don't give in. Hopefully, though, she's mature enough not to be so silly.
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Bronze Member
on Feb. 2, 2013 at 7:00 PM
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I think I wouldn't go. If you think she's going to get jealous, you'll probably have to leave again. Honestly, I 'd be having some serious words with my dad about the idea that she was allowed to kick you out of her birthday party even once. He needs to explain to her that you are his daughter, and she is his daughter and he loves you both. If your dad isn't willing to insist that she treat you with respect and understand that you both love your dad, I wouldn't want to be around that, because I wouldn't want to walk on those kind of egg shells.
Because at the time there were far bigger battles to fight. I was going just for a short time anyways.
Quoting carly32:
Why did everyone agree to a child's wishes to have her sister removed from her party? Sorry but to me that is supporting bratty behavior. I couldn't read past that part.
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Judy
on Feb. 3, 2013 at 8:24 AM
Ok....that explains that ONE DAY....what about the SIX YEARS since then? This 'separation thing' never should have been carried on this long. Your sister is very likely to get upset about your son if her jealous/rude behavior has gone un-checked for all these years.
Quoting XVAmomma:
Because at the time there were far bigger battles to fight. I was going just for a short time anyways.
Quoting carly32:
Why did everyone agree to a child's wishes to have her sister removed from her party? Sorry but to me that is supporting bratty behavior. I couldn't read past that part.
by
Linnette
on Feb. 3, 2013 at 8:47 AM
This.
Quoting TTC2Long:
She's 11. She's too old for this nonsense and has gotten away with it for far too long, imo. Go. If she starts getting jealous, have your dad and her mom (i.e. not you) remind her that SHE wanted the baby there. And if she throws a fit, don't give in. Hopefully, though, she's mature enough not to be so silly.
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Why is everyone tip toeing around this kid? Ridiculous that everyone caters to her. When she gets in the real world and finds out she's not the princess of everything, what then?
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New Member
on Feb. 3, 2013 at 10:52 AM
This. Totally ridiculous. Go, don't leave until you are ready.
Quoting GMom2011:
Why is everyone tip toeing around this kid? Ridiculous that everyone caters to her. When she gets in the real world and finds out she's not the princess of everything, what then?
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- XVAmomma
on Feb. 1, 2013 at 11:37 PM