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What would you do...baby sister issues? ***edited***

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I have a kid sister that is turning 11yrs old (I am 32yrs) and she is a half sister. My dad calls her his "little girl" but I am "daddy's girl" I spent her first 5 yrs away studying so the few times I saw dad between her being 2 and 5 I didn't saw her. On her 5th birthday she kicked me out because she didn't really like dad hugging me hello. Since then she nevers speaks to me, ignores any gift and throws a tantrum if I am near dad. 7mo ago I had my boy and she simply adores him. I was invited for the first time in 6yrs to her birthday - she actually asked my older sister if I would go as she realy wants her nephew to be there. So obviously I am taking him.

The issue is that 85% of the family that will be there still don't know my baby. In fact most of the ones that seen him before only saw him at the hospital. So I am scare to have her grow jealous of him because everyone is paying attention to dad's first grandson instead of dad's little girl. So how would you handle this?

*** It seems some of you got the wrong impression and I guess it might be due to language barrier...so here are a few facts: ***
1. My sister isn't a brat; in fact she is very kind and respectful.

2.Dad and her mom doesn't allow her to do whatever she wants or spoil her rotten. If she gets out of line she is grounded and held accountable.

3. We have seen each other countless times after that birthday (6yrs ago) and as long as I don't get near dad she is fine.

4. Birthdays are a personal celebration in our families and as a rule we invite only the ppl we want too. No extra relatives or parents choice.

5. And yes, I was worried that she would get jealouse of my boy but at the same time not going felt to me inmature.


Birthday was yesterday and I chose to call her mom when we arrived and ask her to send my sister out to help me out. When she got to the car she had a huge smile in her face. I asked her if she wanted to help me with the stroller and then I put my boy in it. I told her that this was the first time our grams would see my boy - not true but she got alzhimers so everytime is the first time - and I thought she as the birthday girl should be the one showing baby off. She got super excited and waited till I was done grabbing everything from the car. She was very careful pushing the stroller and finaly show him to grams. When grandma asked who the baby was her answer "My nephew; you know my sister's baby" Everyone was shock! She show him to everyone in the party; pay little to no attention to any other baby there but was very carefull around my boy. Even asked our cousin to lower the music volume each time my boy took a nap. At the end of the birthday she took me to a side and said "I know I've been bad to you and hope you can forgive me. Dad explained that we are sisters and that makes your son my nephew and if I want to see him I have to have your approval so I hope you can see I can be good and approve of me being near my nephew"

Jaw dropped

I basically just hug her and told her it was very big of her to apologize and that she had earn major points with me. I told her that as long as she kept her grades up, be respectful and had both her parents approval I thought we could make o point to see each other once a week. She is comming for dinner next Friday!
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by on Feb. 1, 2013 at 11:37 PM
Replies (11-17):
ronvot
by Member on Feb. 3, 2013 at 11:10 AM
I can't believe this is a real issue. How could anyone cater to one child over another and promote this behavior? When she was five she should have been checked. I wouldn't take my son around your family.
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ToYnyc
by on Feb. 3, 2013 at 11:21 AM

 someone needs to put that little girl in her place, you are an adult and she should not be allowed to disrespect you, you and your baby are a part of the family and she needs to learn to accept that.

Lindalou907
by Bronze Member on Feb. 3, 2013 at 11:23 AM
1 mom liked this

She wants you there, you go! She can learn to share your Dad's affection. You will laugh about this later when she's grown!

XVAmomma
by on Feb. 3, 2013 at 7:38 PM
After that first time we have seen each other. If she gets disrespectful she gets grounded. She is normally very respectful and kind. She isn't a brat; her only issue is when I get close to dad.

And in terms of birthdays...In our family birthdays are quite personal thing. You invite who you want to invite and no one else. It is a family rule. I can't realy conplaint as she never been to one of my birthdays...truth be told since she was born all but the last one has been celebrated in bars or adult ambience so no kids. But if I don't invite her to my birthday celebrations how can I expect her to invite me?


Quoting TableforSeven:

Ok....that explains that ONE DAY....what about the SIX YEARS since then?  This 'separation thing' never should have been carried on this long.  Your sister is very likely to get upset about your son if her jealous/rude behavior has gone un-checked for all these years.  


Quoting XVAmomma:

Because at the time there were far bigger battles to fight. I was going just for a short time anyways.





Quoting carly32:

Why did everyone agree to a child's wishes to have her sister removed from her party? Sorry but to me that is supporting bratty behavior. I couldn't read past that part.






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ToYnyc
by on Feb. 3, 2013 at 7:45 PM

 because you're family, i dont know what your culture is but in my family a child's birthday is a family celebration kids are allowed to invite their friends but if any family members care enough to show up to her party, kicking them out is rude. i would be embarrassed if my child behaved that way and she would never have a party again.

Quoting XVAmomma:

After that first time we have seen each other. If she gets disrespectful she gets grounded. She is normally very respectful and kind. She isn't a brat; her only issue is when I get close to dad.

And in terms of birthdays...In our family birthdays are quite personal thing. You invite who you want to invite and no one else. It is a family rule. I can't realy conplaint as she never been to one of my birthdays...truth be told since she was born all but the last one has been celebrated in bars or adult ambience so no kids. But if I don't invite her to my birthday celebrations how can I expect her to invite me?


Quoting TableforSeven:

Ok....that explains that ONE DAY....what about the SIX YEARS since then?  This 'separation thing' never should have been carried on this long.  Your sister is very likely to get upset about your son if her jealous/rude behavior has gone un-checked for all these years.  


Quoting XVAmomma:

Because at the time there were far bigger battles to fight. I was going just for a short time anyways.





Quoting carly32:

Why did everyone agree to a child's wishes to have her sister removed from her party? Sorry but to me that is supporting bratty behavior. I couldn't read past that part.


 


 


 

XVAmomma
by on Feb. 3, 2013 at 8:33 PM
She got grounded and all her birthday presents for that yr got donated to a kids hospital.

I am family, yes. But in our family (culture is different) your birthday celebration is yours. Our family members now and understand that and won't show up uninvited. If they wish to celebrate any particular year they ask us out to dinner (or show up any other day with a little cake). It is a family thing. Parents can suggest: "what about_____? or don't you want____?" but if we say no or simply don't add them to the list that person is out no consequences.

That year I was invited because it was the first yr I was back in town. She had heard of me but basically never seen me before (she was 1yrs the last time she seen me) so to her I wasn't family and I was a stranger.


Quoting ToYnyc:

 because you're family, i dont know what your culture is but in my family a child's birthday is a family celebration kids are allowed to invite their friends but if any family members care enough to show up to her party, kicking them out is rude. i would be embarrassed if my child behaved that way and she would never have a party again.


Quoting XVAmomma:

After that first time we have seen each other. If she gets disrespectful she gets grounded. She is normally very respectful and kind. She isn't a brat; her only issue is when I get close to dad.

And in terms of birthdays...In our family birthdays are quite personal thing. You invite who you want to invite and no one else. It is a family rule. I can't realy conplaint as she never been to one of my birthdays...truth be told since she was born all but the last one has been celebrated in bars or adult ambience so no kids. But if I don't invite her to my birthday celebrations how can I expect her to invite me?



Quoting TableforSeven:


Ok....that explains that ONE DAY....what about the SIX YEARS since then?  This 'separation thing' never should have been carried on this long.  Your sister is very likely to get upset about your son if her jealous/rude behavior has gone un-checked for all these years.  



Quoting XVAmomma:

Because at the time there were far bigger battles to fight. I was going just for a short time anyways.






Quoting carly32:

Why did everyone agree to a child's wishes to have her sister removed from her party? Sorry but to me that is supporting bratty behavior. I couldn't read past that part.



 



 



 


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SassyLaLa85
by on Feb. 4, 2013 at 9:38 AM

Wow...what a cool story.

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