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Dating a guy who also has kids...

Posted by on Feb. 2, 2013 at 10:46 PM
  • 10 Replies
So I am dating this guy who has 3 kids. The father of my 4 kids moved out of state so I always have my kiddos. The guy: he has his half-time. So he said he wants to go on a date weekly... On HIS schedule... 2 and 4th Saturday nights ( when he doesn't have his kids ), and Monday nights on the off weekends. I am a bit disappointed. Is that wrong? I realize the time he has with his kids is important. I, however, refuse to go on a date on a week night: my kids have practices, homework; it's a school night and work night.
Thoughts?
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by on Feb. 2, 2013 at 10:46 PM
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Replies (1-10):
hollydaze1974
by on Feb. 2, 2013 at 10:59 PM
2 moms liked this
Honestly, if he shows up with a college educated baby sitter on those Monday nites and he pays for her.... I'd go in a heartbeat .

However, the " demands" that this is "how it shall be" I'd be getting outta dodge before things get more serious .
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SallyB_LMT
by Bronze Member on Feb. 2, 2013 at 11:31 PM

Is he demanding it?  Or are those the only nights that work for him?  I agree with you about the week night thing, it's not a matter of whether you want to see him or not.  Have you introduced him to your kids?  Perhaps he could come over for dinner those nights and hang out with you at your home, watch a movie or something at home.  I am not sure how serious you are about him, so maybe that's not an option.

MJP76
by on Feb. 2, 2013 at 11:37 PM

It depends on how long you've been dating him. A month? Give it some slack, two months, give it some slack.. But going on 6 months and you still haven't met his kids or all gotten together and done a "family thing" chances are he has no plans to do so with you and you are just a piece of ass...


JG1-4
by on Feb. 3, 2013 at 12:38 AM
LOL! It has been 5 months. We have done the family dinner thing. I have met his kids.
I have a 14 year old, 11, 9, and 5. The oldest plays national stage ball and is extremely busy. There is no way I could go out on a week night.
Should I communicate to him that I feel like I am being 'stiffed' on his weekends when he has his kids? Is that terrible?!? I am leaving my kids to go out with him. I just think he may say: well you have yours at all times.
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SallyB_LMT
by Bronze Member on Feb. 3, 2013 at 12:56 AM
Quoting JG1-4:

LOL! It has been 5 months. We have done the family dinner thing. I have met his kids.
I have a 14 year old, 11, 9, and 5. The oldest plays national stage ball and is extremely busy. There is no way I could go out on a week night.
Should I communicate to him that I feel like I am being 'stiffed' on his weekends when he has his kids? Is that terrible?!? I am leaving my kids to go out with him. I just think he may say: well you have yours at all times.

Does he have them all week on his weeks or just for the weekend?  If it's all week, then I would say that going out one of those weekends every month wouldn't be an issue, but if it's just every other weekend then you are being unreasonable.  In that case they are only seeing their dad 4 days a month and those days should be devoted to them.  Also, you don't have to 'go out' to spend time with each other.  Maybe he could plan to come over and make you dinner those nights, or you could have a movie night with each other after kids are in bed.  I don't go out much because we have little ones and it's hard to find a sitter for 4 kids, as I am sure you know.  If it's just spending time with you that he's after then he may need to be a little more flexible with his schedule.  Weeknights are difficult, especially Mondays because it's the start of the week.

SassyLaLa85
by on Feb. 4, 2013 at 10:43 AM

Tell him how you feel.

ScrChk23
by Amanda on Feb. 4, 2013 at 11:25 AM

 Tell him that.

ScrChk23
by Amanda on Feb. 4, 2013 at 11:26 AM

 How long have you guys been seeing each other?  Is is serious enough to have your kids meet each other?

pristine729
by on Feb. 4, 2013 at 11:28 AM
Then don't go out on school nights. Just do the every other Saturday for now.
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KylesMom409
by Linnette on Feb. 4, 2013 at 12:05 PM
I agree.

Quoting SassyLaLa85:

Tell him how you feel.

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