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Lukewarm feelings

Posted by on Feb. 15, 2013 at 6:05 PM
  • 12 Replies

My BF and I have been together for 2.5 years.  Over the past couple months I've started feeling as though my BF is not really interested in me.  He never compliments me, we only ever have sex with the lights out, he only says I Love You if I say it first and when I told him I wanted to set aside my tax return for a downpayment on a house, he said I shouldn't.  I'm afraid that he is still with me because he doesn't want to keep looking at his age (He is only 34 but is always talking about how OLD he is).  I know I should talk with him about it but there never seems to be a good time and when I could I chicken out.  I'm so frustrated and hurt right now.

by on Feb. 15, 2013 at 6:05 PM
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Replies (1-10):
savingtheworld
by on Feb. 15, 2013 at 6:41 PM
No..iv been married to my husband for almost 3 years.. an yes he forgets to tell me I'm beautiful, an he fell asleep 2 nights in a row when I was half way naked...an no he didn't want to buy a house..but we absolutely had to, we did.. I think men are just like that..an for the life of me I couldn't figure out why he doesn't want the things I do, when he said at the beginning he did? Bc men hold there selves to b failures! I quit my job to stay at home, an when I went bk to work he had a huge come apart bc he felt like he couldn't take care of me? An also iv starting getting my self motivated to go to the gym an get my hair done etc..bc yes I have only been n my jogging pants for 6 months! Lol an by the way, my husband is only 35.. an really us women always want that happy ending, but men some times feel he can't give it to us! An I think around that age is when men start settling n their age, I think he is just comfortable with u
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ScrChk23
by Amanda on Feb. 15, 2013 at 7:11 PM
Sucks, but you have to talk to him.
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GraceStrickland
by on Feb. 15, 2013 at 9:48 PM

Screw that, buy a house and if he doesn't want to go in on it then fine.  You'll still be glad you put the money aside?  Is he babies Daddy?


JessO919
by on Feb. 15, 2013 at 10:54 PM

No he isn't. 


Quoting GraceStrickland:

Screw that, buy a house and if he doesn't want to go in on it then fine.  You'll still be glad you put the money aside?  Is he babies Daddy?




2curly
by on Feb. 15, 2013 at 11:30 PM
1 mom liked this

Maybe he is just nervous about taking the next step.  Most men get a little anxious about commitment.  That could be why he is being standoffish.   All you can do is sit down and talk things out.  It is the only way that you will know where things stand.  It is the only way that you will get peace of mind. 

Mommyof2114
by on Feb. 15, 2013 at 11:36 PM

You should talk to him :)

lisahappymom
by on Feb. 16, 2013 at 12:35 AM

If he seems like he's not at into you as he used to be, then you have every right to ask some questions.  Like, "If I bought a house would you want to move with me?"

As I think about it, why isn't he talking about buying a house?  What does he plan to use his tax return for?

JessO919
by on Feb. 16, 2013 at 8:27 AM

The thing is that he wants to buy a house but he doesn't seem to want to me help with any of the costs, etc. 


Quoting lisahappymom:

If he seems like he's not at into you as he used to be, then you have every right to ask some questions.  Like, "If I bought a house would you want to move with me?"

As I think about it, why isn't he talking about buying a house?  What does he plan to use his tax return for?



BLRiley
by on Feb. 16, 2013 at 11:30 AM
This is my reaction based on my own personal/previous experiences:

1.) Why the sudden disinterest? At this point in your relationship, he should have extreme interest...with goals for marriage, a house "together", a family...etc.

2.) why doesn't he want you to have anything to do w/the cost of the house? Is it bc he doesn't want u associated w/it so that its "his" and not yours...so you'd have no ownership rights in case he wanted to end it?

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LuckyMom822
by on Feb. 16, 2013 at 11:48 AM
Okay. I have serious commitment issues! So everything you are saying is ringing huge bells. Sirens are going off and I'm ready to run for the hills! You are not married to him! If you want to buy a house, then buy one but he doesn't need to be on the mortgage or in anyway involved with that. No wonder he is freaking out. If you want to be married, then you two need to talk about that and that only.
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