Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

30 Something Moms 30 Something Moms

I just called the police on a neighborhood kid...

Posted by   + Show Post

for bullying.  We moved into a super quiet neighborhood about 2 years ago.  Last year, a family moved in with an 8 year old daughter that is full of drama, but we could handle that.  Then about 6 months ago, a family moved in that has a 9 year old boy (and some other kids).  This 9 year old boy went through a very traumatic experience not too long ago in that his father was killed in a motorcycle accident with this boy on the back who, obviously survived.  This is important because everytime we try and talk to mom about this kid's behavior we get "he's gone through alot recently and has anger issues." 

He calls my daughter terrible names.  He beat up a neighborhood child.  He won't let the other kids play in the 2 grassy fields or on the sidewalks (claiming that they are his).  He is becoming sexually aggressive with his 8 yr old "girlfriend" (another neighborhood child with severely lacking parental supervision).  He rarely goes to school and when we asked his mother about that one she said that she does not make him go on days he does not feel like it "because of his trauma."  I understand that he went through something TERRIBLE recently, but that is no excuse to let him bully others.  Myself and 2 other neighborhood mothers have tried to talk to his mother.  We have tried to talk to the child.  We have tried to talk to the child with his mother.  I feel terrible that it came to this.  He is only 9 years old.

by on Feb. 19, 2013 at 3:33 PM
Replies (21-25):
cookin_mama665
by on Feb. 20, 2013 at 12:32 PM

As far as I'm concerned, you did the right thing.  Trauma or not, he knows that his behavior is unacceptable.  His mother should have been seeking help to correct the behavior instead of making excuses for his behavior.  Maybe now he will be ordered to receive the help he needs. 

No one deserves to be bullied, afraid to go outside or down the street because someone might be out there trying to hurt them.

MIZZ.MOE
by on Feb. 20, 2013 at 2:01 PM
1 mom liked this

 from the old school bullying didn't exist. I was raised you tell your parents if it occurred in school you tell your teacher if nothing is done you fight back. My parents never called the police. I'm   a mother of 2 boys 1 graduates high school this summer and the other 1's in the 2nd grade. They both have been involved in 3 major incidents. The 2 involving my 17 year old he was the victim but what they didn't was he took boxing. Needless to say both guys were sent to the hospital. Now the kids know not to mess with my nerd.  And same thing with my 8 year old. Self defense is the way to go. My dad taught me so we passed it down. To each  his own but if it were me after speaking to the mom My kids will be beating his you know what.

The police have better things to do then raising some1 else's trouble child. Good Luck with that kid wish I were in your area.


anotherandree
by Inga on Feb. 20, 2013 at 2:22 PM
1 mom liked this

Um, yikes.  I do agree with the self-defense and thank you for that idea, however, we must agree to disagree on, well, everything else.  I believe that violence breeds violence and your story proved that point.  It is one thing to defend yourself when directly attacked, it is something else entirely to seek revenge.

Quoting MIZZ.MOE:

 from the old school bullying didn't exist. I was raised you tell your parents if it occurred in school you tell your teacher if nothing is done you fight back. My parents never called the police. I'm   a mother of 2 boys 1 graduates high school this summer and the other 1's in the 2nd grade. They both have been involved in 3 major incidents. The 2 involving my 17 year old he was the victim but what they didn't was he took boxing. Needless to say both guys were sent to the hospital. Now the kids know not to mess with my nerd.  And same thing with my 8 year old. Self defense is the way to go. My dad taught me so we passed it down. To each  his own but if it were me after speaking to the mom My kids will be beating his you know what.

The police have better things to do then raising some1 else's trouble child. Good Luck with that kid wish I were in your area.



G2Mama
by on Feb. 20, 2013 at 4:42 PM

I commend you on being a proactive mom!  It is our jobs to protect our children and you did what you had to do.  Maybe it will be a wake up call to this boys' mother.  She is doing more harm than I'm sure she realizes probably because she doesn't want to deal the guilt and hurt feelings we feel as parents when we have to discipline our kids.  I'm sorry you are going through this,  I hope things change soon for everyone involved.

KylesMom409
by Linnette on Feb. 20, 2013 at 6:01 PM
1 mom liked this
A lot of good points and good advice.

Quoting SallyB_LMT:

I see you've spoken with his mother.  Do you know if he's in any sort of therapy?  It really is her responsibility to make sure he isn't a holy terror, now that his dad isn't there to do it.  If she's not sending him to school and she's not supervising him, those are both neglect and you could call child protective services.  I know he's been through a very traumatic event, however I agree that your children shouldn't be harassed or bullied because of it.  If she isn't taking care of him and he's acting out violently then there needs to be a change for both of them.  Maybe having someone come out and talk to her would help, maybe she just needs a wake-up call. 

I am sure having him full-time (assuming there was some sort of visitation arrangement with the father) is an adjustment for her as well.  Have you talked to him about being kind to your kids?  I know some children need an adult to step in and just tell them that the way they are acting is unacceptable and they will knock it off, some need more than that and perhaps the police can do that by talking to him.  He sounds like he's really going through a rough patch and his mom is doing him a disservice by making excuses instead of stepping it up as a parent with the boundaries.

Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN