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Hard time dealing with going back to work after baby

Posted by on Mar. 6, 2013 at 3:05 PM
  • 14 Replies

Hey everyone,

My husband and I have been married 7 years and have a 2 year old daughter.  I am currently 32 weeks pregnant with a baby boy and am on bedrest.  My husband keeps hounding me about when I am going back to work.  Almost every night, he says something about being glad when I go back to work.  However, I have always wanted to just be home with the kids as a full time stay at home mom.  I had been working part time at a restaurant before being put on bedrest.  It has made me very unhappy thinking about going back to work there.  I feel like with 2 kids, it is going to be even worse.  I do not want to be there and do not enjoy spending my evenings at work when my husband will be home with the kids.  I also do not enjoy working every single weekend and being away from my husband and kids and not being able to do stuff together as a family.  I just want to be home with them.  How can I get over this situation?  I just want to be there for the kids as much as possible.  I feel like men just don't get it.  It's different when you're the mom.

by on Mar. 6, 2013 at 3:05 PM
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Replies (1-10):
MCA23
by Member on Mar. 6, 2013 at 3:17 PM

If you HAVE to work, it's time to start looking for a new job.  Maybe it'll help you feel better about things to know you're taking steps to change it.  A part-time restaurant job isn't set in stone.  If I could ever go back to part time, I'd be all over coffee and bagel shops that would let me open and be done early in the day.  I was a baker for several years and did 5am-1pm and worked full time.  LOVED getting off at 1!!!  My favorite job ever.

Garnet131
by on Mar. 6, 2013 at 3:26 PM

Before I had our 2 year old, I worked all morning shifts at the restaurant.  It was so nice!  I did enjoy it much better working in the mornings!  However, we don't want to put our kids in daycare.  So I don't have many options other than working at night or on weekends.  It has gotten OLD fast!  Especially feeling like I'm missing out with the kids and hubby time.  I do work mornings on the weekends.  Which means that we can't go do daytime stuff together as a family on the weekends.  We never get to go to the zoo together.  I also miss not being able to sleep in on the weekends with my husband.  During the work week he has to be up at 6:15 every morning.

SarahSuzyQ
by Member on Mar. 6, 2013 at 3:49 PM
Are you working because it's a financial necessity?
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AuntieMom101
by on Mar. 6, 2013 at 3:57 PM
2 moms liked this
Is there a way where you could do babysitting to help bring in an income? Then you could stay home with baby and DH still feels you are contributing.
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KylesMom409
by Linnette on Mar. 6, 2013 at 7:25 PM

 Good idea.

Quoting AuntieMom101:

Is there a way where you could do babysitting to help bring in an income? Then you could stay home with baby and DH still feels you are contributing.

 

Krysden
by Member on Mar. 6, 2013 at 7:43 PM

$$ aside...   Why is he so eager to get you back to work?   Does he know how much you don't like working that shift?

Garnet131
by on Mar. 6, 2013 at 11:47 PM
Yes, he knows I don't like it and that it makes me unhappy.
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maybe80
by on Mar. 7, 2013 at 2:41 PM

First, are you happy with your marriage? Why is he asking you to go back?

If you aren't happy.. you might want to find out why. If my husband asked me to go back to work, I would. I plan to after our baby is out of the infant stage. But, I only plan to go PT.

My husband also would get a PT job on top of his FT job if he needed to. 

I feel, if I request something of my husband and press on him about it, I have to need it. Does he NEED you to work for your home to run smoothly? With financial resposibility, etc...

I would work on the weekends if it were neccesary to make ends meet. Daycare is so expensive and I know my husband would enjoy the time with our kids.

I like being a SAHM, but I would work if I wasn't so sick from my pregnancy. He has mentioned himself getting a second job. 

BlueJane
by on Mar. 7, 2013 at 3:41 PM
I'm very blessed that my husband supports me not returning to work. I know one day I'll have to but not yet. While I was on Mat leave, my job changed from 3 hours a day to 8. I was really not looking forward to that!
I hope you two can reach some type of agreement.
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christina259
by Bronze Member on Mar. 7, 2013 at 5:46 PM

 

Quoting Krysden:

$$ aside...   Why is he so eager to get you back to work?   Does he know how much you don't like working that shift?

I agree. seems like with you (OP)(sorry about that, reread my reply and realized i had quoted someone,lol) being on bedrest, you should consider taking it easy for a while, even a few months after baby is born. It seems a little premature for him to be pushing the issue. If its for financial reasons then i understand, sometimes you have to do what you have to do to make ends meet but if not i completly understand your desire to be home. if you have to work, is there possibly a way you could try to get a really easy job just for the sake of bringing in extra income? In the early years of having kids i really think its best for moms to take it easy. A happy and non exhausted mom is what they need and also what you need. The best thing a mother can do for her kids is to take care of herself so that she want be so run down she can't take care of anyone, not even herself. Sometimes i feel its a good idea to reserve your energy for taking care of them if thats at all possible. Hopefully your dh can understand but i realize too, a lot of men really don't get it.The don't seem to get  just how tiring having kids and then caring for kids and home can be by itself, much less with a job added on top of it. When i had my son, I too wanted to stay home with him. Not just because i was exhausted but because i just desparately wanted to be home with my son and feel I was the one taking care of him and being there for all his moments. it was hard. The first time i left my 6 week old baby at daycare, i cried when i walked into work,lol. my supervisor just gave me a look because she too went through that. That look just made the tears well up for me. i was holding back untill she did that. ;) . Have you tried talking to him about it?

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