Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

30 Something Moms 30 Something Moms

"It's easy to judge when you don't do $#*@!"

Posted by on Mar. 7, 2013 at 10:51 PM
  • 30 Replies
1 mom liked this

Just had a little spat with my DH.

Lately been feeling like all he does is sit there and critique me - and tell me what to do or how to do something.

Tonight - he comes home after a night class - and he's eating and playing a video game.

I have our 16 month old following me around with a constant whiny cry. FUN!

While he was away I had to clean up what my DS decided to dig out of his diaper (his new game - scratching his little patooty) and find where he put his little hands and clean and throw out some of those items in a "where's waldo?" smelling game.

Needless to say as I was changing another yucky diaper - my DS is screaming the whole time because his bottom is all red - my DH decides it's the appropriate time to critize - as I am wiping the baby of course he screams louder and is trying to crawl away - I finally yell at my DH - "well he still has poop on his butt!" and he says "that's good - yell like a neanderthal."

And that did it.

I don't curse. Really. I don't. (I grew up in a home where my parents argued a lot and cursed at each other - guess it just left a bad taste in my mouth so never started)

But - tonight - I did.

And I don't want to apologize.



by on Mar. 7, 2013 at 10:51 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
CotterpinDoozer
by Silver Member on Mar. 7, 2013 at 11:28 PM
4 moms liked this

Honestly, I suggest handing him the baby and telling him to do it. When he says something reply with "Well, since you seem to think I do it wrong, YOU do it." Keep that up. If he tries to ignore you or DS, don't let him. So don't apologize, sounds to me like he doesn't help much, so he has no room to criticize what you do.


LuckyMom822
by on Mar. 7, 2013 at 11:33 PM

Yup!

Quoting CotterpinDoozer:

Honestly, I suggest handing him the baby and telling him to do it. When he says something reply with "Well, since you seem to think I do it wrong, YOU do it." Keep that up. If he tries to ignore you or DS, don't let him. So don't apologize, sounds to me like he doesn't help much, so he has no room to criticize what you do.


AllofFive19
by Bronze Member on Mar. 7, 2013 at 11:38 PM

Yup.

Quoting CotterpinDoozer:

Honestly, I suggest handing him the baby and telling him to do it. When he says something reply with "Well, since you seem to think I do it wrong, YOU do it." Keep that up. If he tries to ignore you or DS, don't let him. So don't apologize, sounds to me like he doesn't help much, so he has no room to criticize what you do.


Mommy2AmaznKids
by on Mar. 8, 2013 at 1:26 AM

This is what I was going to say,maybe then he will get the point,I so know where your coming from,it's so annoying and just makes me angry.

Quoting CotterpinDoozer:

Honestly, I suggest handing him the baby and telling him to do it. When he says something reply with "Well, since you seem to think I do it wrong, YOU do it." Keep that up. If he tries to ignore you or DS, don't let him. So don't apologize, sounds to me like he doesn't help much, so he has no room to criticize what you do.


SallyB_LMT
by Bronze Member on Mar. 8, 2013 at 2:19 AM
2 moms liked this

:(  I have had that same fight, with the stinky crying baby and the critical know it all dh who doesn't want to get up off his butt to do anything, but thinks it's his duty to point out what I am doing wrong...ya, not fun.  I do the 'fake apology'...you know, the one I am talking about, the "I'm sorry you have nothing helpful to say and I lost my temper with you."  Basically, "I'm sorry you're a moron that I have to put up with"...lol

.Peaches.
by on Mar. 8, 2013 at 7:35 AM
1 mom liked this

I have a problem with men who over critique, I really do. While they're doing absolutely NOTHING at the time, I might add.

Since he is constantly sticking his feet in his mouth about what you don't do right, let him do it. If he complains about the laundry, let him wash, fold, and put away his own clothes. If he's complaining about the cooking, let him figure out where his next meal is coming from on his own. Anything that he's complaining about, let him do it. Then maybe he'll learn to keep his opinions to himself, especially if they're not helping.

starlight91
by on Mar. 8, 2013 at 7:51 AM

Unfortunately men do not get it until they have dealt with 1 day of what you do to take care of the house, the children and yes him...When my oldest was 2 ( shes 17 now), I broke my ankle, was in hospital for a week.. Other then my sister watching our daughter while dh worked, he had to take care of everything else... From then on, he didnt care if the house was cleaned by the time he got home, he would help and still does help...With our second daughter he did ALL the 1am feedings...

gibro19
by on Mar. 8, 2013 at 8:46 AM

Thanks ladies!!

Last night - I just went to bed. So far this morning - we haven't spoken. I know this "silent" game could go on for days if I let it.

Sometimes I get so mad at myself - for letting him get me mad. I also sometimes think, "how did i fall in love with such an idiot?!" lol

I love him - and I do like to provide for my family by cooking and cleaning and all of that - just taking care of them - BUT - I don't like all the passing judgement. I know it would be incredibly hard for me to walk away and allow my DH to "fend" for himself. I wouldn't care - it's just I know he doesn't do for the kids like I do for the kids. Homework wouldn't get done, meals would be mcdonalds drive thru for breakfast, lunch and dinner and no housework would get done. They would probably wear the same things every day once the clean clothes were all dirty. He's truly helpless. I do fear that I may be raising my sons to be totally dependent as well..... gotta do some real honest reflection on that one.

Ugh... so at this point I either need to end up in the hospital and be on bed rest for a week or 2 or see how we can get my DH to shut up! blank stare

occumommy
by on Mar. 8, 2013 at 8:51 AM
This, worked like a charm in my house


Quoting CotterpinDoozer:

Honestly, I suggest handing him the baby and telling him to do it. When he says something reply with "Well, since you seem to think I do it wrong, YOU do it." Keep that up. If he tries to ignore you or DS, don't let him. So don't apologize, sounds to me like he doesn't help much, so he has no room to criticize what you do.


Posted on CafeMom Mobile
USD2012
by on Mar. 8, 2013 at 9:07 AM

Im just looking for comfort for my own issues and here I am reading a similar story. I also cant think of any good reason why I chose him and why I still keep on loving him.  uff. I honestly think I can do better on my own. But I dont like my son to grow up without his dad and I surely know DH will be broken into pieces if I dare say that I wanna get rid of him..  stuck forever :(

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN