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Need some advice * kinda long *

Posted by on Mar. 17, 2013 at 12:39 AM
  • 9 Replies
Ok, ladies. I was wondering if some of you could help me out with an emotional problem I'm having. I have 3 kids the youngest of which will be one soon. All of them were "maybe babies" not really trying but not doing much of anything to prevent pregnancy, either. 3 kids is 3 more than my husband (who is a great father) wanted or thought he would have. We are crazy happy with our family, but I want one more baby SO bad! He says no mostly because of financial reasons. I am grateful for the children I have, but I feel like one more would really complete our family. I'm having trouble coming to terms with not having anymore kids :( Can anyone give me advice on how to get over this case of baby fever I have?
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by on Mar. 17, 2013 at 12:39 AM
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Replies (1-9):
SallyB_LMT
by Bronze Member on Mar. 17, 2013 at 1:15 AM

Honestly, I was exactly the same way.  I wanted 4 always, from as long as I can remember that is how many kids I wanted.  Dh wasn't sure he wanted any after the 1st one, but he agreed to have a sibling, then he agreed to try to have a girl *we did*, then I was working on convincing him we should have a 4th...when we got pregnant...and now we are complete.  I don't want any more kids my family is full.  It's even a little overfull at times.  I can't imagine life without all 4 and I love each of them individually more than life itself, but having 4 means an upgrade to everything.  It means you have to get a bigger vehicle if you have a 5 seater.  It means you may have to look for a larger home or at least a larger bedroom if you end up with 3 of the same sex like we did.  You have one more person to feed/clothe/care for when they're sick...it's a hell of a lot more work.  Honestly, I was really happy with 3 and if I didn't have my 4th I would probably be in a much better financial state right now and I would be able to give my other 3 a lot more fun things, but I wouldn't give up my littlest guy for anything.  He's my snugglebug, he's a holy terror and he is everybody's favorite. 


ETA...he's the only one with blue eyes, all the rest of them have brown like their daddy.  :)  So, finally I got one that looks like me me me...lol

KylesMom409
by Linnette on Mar. 17, 2013 at 9:26 AM
I am right there with you. I only have one and I want a second baby SO bad. DH is unfortunately "one and done" and I wish I could have a heart to heart with him about it. But I know the conversation would be over before it began. :(
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Lionpaw
by on Mar. 17, 2013 at 10:54 AM

talk to your hubby!

My youngest is 7 months but I feel crazy baby fever! I dont think it helps I'm just about to turn 31!

if its finacial reasons he says no, I'd work to fix that issue then talk to him again!!!

even working 4 hours 1 day a week can add up to fix some financial issues!

ali840
by on Mar. 17, 2013 at 3:39 PM
Tell him all kids need a sibling! It's good for them, they learn that the world doesn't revolve around them. I think that's really important.

Quoting KylesMom409:

I am right there with you. I only have one and I want a second baby SO bad. DH is unfortunately "one and done" and I wish I could have a heart to heart with him about it. But I know the conversation would be over before it began. :(
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ali840
by on Mar. 17, 2013 at 3:43 PM
That's exactly where we are. We do okay financially right now, and I'm able to stay home, which obviously I would have to for a couple more years if we have another one because I bf for at least two years. I don't want every week to be a struggle, but I think it's more important to grow our family. We have our whole lives to make money, we can only have kids for a few more years (I'm 31).

Quoting SallyB_LMT:

Honestly, I was exactly the same way.  I wanted 4 always, from as long as I can remember that is how many kids I wanted.  Dh wasn't sure he wanted any after the 1st one, but he agreed to have a sibling, then he agreed to try to have a girl *we did*, then I was working on convincing him we should have a 4th...when we got pregnant...and now we are complete.  I don't want any more kids my family is full.  It's even a little overfull at times.  I can't imagine life without all 4 and I love each of them individually more than life itself, but having 4 means an upgrade to everything.  It means you have to get a bigger vehicle if you have a 5 seater.  It means you may have to look for a larger home or at least a larger bedroom if you end up with 3 of the same sex like we did.  You have one more person to feed/clothe/care for when they're sick...it's a hell of a lot more work.  Honestly, I was really happy with 3 and if I didn't have my 4th I would probably be in a much better financial state right now and I would be able to give my other 3 a lot more fun things, but I wouldn't give up my littlest guy for anything.  He's my snugglebug, he's a holy terror and he is everybody's favorite. 


ETA...he's the only one with blue eyes, all the rest of them have brown like their daddy.  :)  So, finally I got one that looks like me me me...lol

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ali840
by on Mar. 17, 2013 at 3:47 PM
How many kids do you have? I should sit down and look at our finances to see where we can trim some. I would really like to work from home, but I just don't know where to find work like that. Every one I've found looks to be a scam.

Quoting Lionpaw:

talk to your hubby!

My youngest is 7 months but I feel crazy baby fever! I dont think it helps I'm just about to turn 31!

if its finacial reasons he says no, I'd work to fix that issue then talk to him again!!!

even working 4 hours 1 day a week can add up to fix some financial issues!

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Pukalani79
by Kris on Mar. 17, 2013 at 3:55 PM

 I'm in a similiar boat. My DH is happy with our 3 while I would LOVE to have just one more.  My youngest is 8 and it's been hard, but it is what it is.  I just focus a lot of energy into my three and try to be content with the family we have.  I have started watching an infant a few hours a week and that helps a lot.

Devious103102
by on Mar. 17, 2013 at 4:15 PM

Talk to your husband about the reasons WHY he doesn't want another and work on them. If it's for financial reasons then work harder to get out of debt/save money/whatever you have to do. After having DD3 DH insisted that we would never have another child and 6.5yrs later DD4 was born.  His thing was all the fears of things that "could be". I had pre-e with DD3 and DH wasn't around (deployed my entire pregnancy) and the doc scared him pretty bad about how I "could've died" (IMO, it wasn't THAT bad and I was FINE, as was DD) and I had already at that point had 4 pregnancy losses, so he was afraid I wouldn't be able to get preg or would just keep having losses.

Lionpaw
by on Mar. 17, 2013 at 11:56 PM


Quoting ali840:

How many kids do you have? I should sit down and look at our finances to see where we can trim some. I would really like to work from home, but I just don't know where to find work like that. Every one I've found looks to be a scam.

Quoting Lionpaw:

talk to your hubby!

My youngest is 7 months but I feel crazy baby fever! I dont think it helps I'm just about to turn 31!

if its finacial reasons he says no, I'd work to fix that issue then talk to him again!!!

even working 4 hours 1 day a week can add up to fix some financial issues!

I have two girls.


I looked at the work from home and I do think most are scams! I haven't gone back to work since having her, but we are ok financially. My income wasn't used for bills anyways!but it is nice to get out for some adult time!

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