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Is marriage really that bad?

Posted by on Mar. 20, 2013 at 9:59 AM
  • 59 Replies

 I'm posting today because I am very confused and concerned about the attitudes towards marriage held by many young women today. I see it on this site all the time, women having babies with men and not even remotely interested in marriage. What is up with that? I'm not bashing, I'm just trying to understand. I believe marriage is very important to a stable family structure. Am I totally old-fashioned to believe in marriage? I am not religious at all, but I firmly believe that marriage represents a lot of things these women are missing out on. To begin with, I think marriage represents a whole level of commitment that these relationships are going without. I'm not saying there aren't committed unmarried relationships. I'm sure there are, as well as bad marriages, of course. However, marriage means you meet struggles together and one of the parties doesn't flake out at the first sign of trouble. If you're together during the bad times it makes the good times that much more enjoyable. I can't even count the times I have been so grateful to have my husband by my side during challenges I've faced. Also, what's to keep these men from acting like they're single, they are! I know there are good men out there who treat their girlfriends like wives. But there are a lot more who stay with girls while they keep their eyes open for something "better." I'd like to hear (respectfully) why you agree or disagree with me. Again, I'm not bashing, I'm just trying to start a discussion and understand views different from my own.

by on Mar. 20, 2013 at 9:59 AM
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Replies (1-10):
AmesCSki
by Bronze Member on Mar. 20, 2013 at 10:13 AM
1 mom liked this
I am happily married though I will say marriage is a lot of work!! But I've heard people who aren't married say things like "we don't need a piece of paper to prove our love/commitment"
Or "I like my independence" (whether it be financial or whatever), and a lot of people I know say "we don't want to get married until everyone can get married" (referring to gay marriage and such). I think people have a lot of reasons, I personally think marriage is a good idea, even though at times my husband makes me crazy!!!!
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conniejo75
by Bronze Member on Mar. 20, 2013 at 10:17 AM
8 moms liked this
I will never legally bind myself to someone again. My divorce cost me more than my marriage. I can be committed to someone without being married. And while either of us could "just walk away"... we would both be choosing to stay each day. Not just staying together because we are legally bound to
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LivinDeadGurl
by Maranda on Mar. 20, 2013 at 10:52 AM
1 mom liked this

I never wanted to get married. I watched my parents fight so much growing up and I never wanted to go through it or put my children through it. However, I found a wonderful man and changed my mind. I have been married for almost four years and couldn't be happier.

JasonsMom2007
by Lisa on Mar. 20, 2013 at 10:54 AM
I love being married.
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ChancesMommy07
by on Mar. 20, 2013 at 10:56 AM
1 mom liked this

I'm very happily married to my high school sweetheart. We've been together 16 years and counting. 

TableforSeven
by Judy on Mar. 20, 2013 at 10:58 AM
1 mom liked this
I have always believed in marriage. DH and I married when I was 18, he had just turned 19. We celebrated our 21st wedding anniversary on Jan 31.
We have both taken our marriage seriously from the start...and we always put our marriage first (assuming the kids' needs are met already).
Honestly, marriage has never been hard for us...despite being young when we married and our family starting by us getting pregnant on our honeymoon. I think a lot of that has to do with how important we feel marriage is.
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BuckeyezRule
by Bronze Member on Mar. 20, 2013 at 11:06 AM

For me, personally, I did grow up in a household with my married parents who did and still do adore each other. My dad still buys my mom a small gift each 10th of every mos as they were married on nov 10th. Just 1 of a zillion sweet things they do for each other. Yes, they can be 'gag-y'. Lol

Anyway, I wanted to be married, have bought a home, and be at least financially able to afford a child before I had one. MY plan, not for everyone. :) got married to the most wonderful man in '98. Built a home in '01, traveled, and had the kiddos in '03 and '04.

momtomiles
by Member on Mar. 20, 2013 at 11:09 AM
I'm happily married to the man of my dreams. I feel so blessed. We've been married for 12 years. He is my best friend:)
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Pukalani79
by Kris on Mar. 20, 2013 at 11:10 AM

 I love being married.  I know that there have been times when if we hadn't made that committment, one of us probably would have walked.  And we are so much stronger for having gone through those things. I cannot imagine my life without my husband. We met in September, had our first date in October, he proposed in December and we were married in February.  That was 12 years ago :)

belindah
by on Mar. 20, 2013 at 11:12 AM
3 moms liked this

 I have seen some people live together for years and be happy, still have ups and downs but be happy, then they get married and they are miserable.  But then again i have seen some people live together and still remain "single".  I have also seen married people remain "single" I think it depends on the people involved.

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