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No! You can not marry my daughter!

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So the other day my little brother (well I guess not LITTLE lol he is 24) took his girlfriends parents out for supper to ask their permission to ask Kelley to marry him. Well when he asked her dad looked him in the eye and was like "No! Absolutely not! Kelley deserves so much better than you. I will not allow her to marry a man who has had a child out of wedlock and did not marry her." After he said this to him got up and walked out! While yes my brother had a child at 17. But he WANTED to marry his DD's mom. But she didn't want to get married just because they were having a baby. Well that was for the better because they make MUCH better friends than they did a couple. My brother is an AMAZING father to his daughter. His girlfriends parents have even told him he is an amazing dad. So what do you ladies think he should do? Should he talk to his girlfriend about it? Would you ever tell your DD's boyfriend no for that reason?
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by on Mar. 20, 2013 at 2:38 PM
Replies (31-40):
AslantheLioness
by on Mar. 21, 2013 at 6:37 AM

You can say whatever you want, in the end if they are legally allowed to get married and truly want to, its up to them and they (like so many others) will just find a way to get it done, and may not even tell you so that you can't do anything about it. 

They have a ceremony later for their relatives benefit, but may have already been married awhile in secret. I'd just voice your opinions and support whatever your child does and be there for them.

AslantheLioness
by on Mar. 21, 2013 at 6:39 AM

yeah thats only out of courtesy and tradition. Getting a No, would only add confusion and some sneakiness and tension, but in the end they'd still do what they wanted. So if you can't control em, may as well support em.


Quoting mushmom:

You would think asking there permission would mean something to them. That never happens anymore (though mine did 7 yrs ago ;). I can't believe their reaction. They may feel that way but that was damn rude.



drivenleonian
by on Mar. 21, 2013 at 6:45 AM
My Fiancé asked for my hand in marriage. My Parent's were excited. My Fiancé is a gentleman. He's also over 40. There aren't many guys left that would ask for a girls hand in marriage.


Quoting OHgirlinCA:

 Wow!  I think it's great that he asked her parents to begin with.  In this day and age, it's a nice gesture, but it's really up to the girlfriend.  I snickered when my brother said he was asking his girlfriend's parents for her hand in marriage before asking her to marry him.  They're 35! 


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AslantheLioness
by on Mar. 21, 2013 at 6:46 AM

similar for us. My parents never grew to like my DH and have even added things about him to make him seem worse, until people meet my DH and realize my parents were full of it.

My parents are all about money and what people can do for them, so pretty much no man would have been good enough. In my DH's case it wasn't personal because even after 15 yrs they still have never taken the time to know anything about him or talk to him for more than 5 minutes. And since my DH doesnt kiss their ass, they have no use for him. They are of a mind that money makes you better the more you got. Way outdated and selfish.

My DH didnt ask permission because it didn't occur to him and didnt see it as being any of their business and not their decision in the end. Its me he loved, not them and cares less what they think of him or our mutual decisions as a couple. Parents should support or stay out of it, thats it.


Quoting TableforSeven:

A large part of the reason DH did not ask my father for permission to marry me was that we knew the answer would be no. We eloped much for the same reason. Everything has worked out just fine....and over the years my parents grew to accept, respect, and even like my husband.



hopealways4019
by Bronze Member on Mar. 21, 2013 at 8:17 AM
HE should ask his girlfriend to marry him, without a parent blessings. If she say no ? move on, or just hold off until he can earn her parents blessings.
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AleaKat
by on Mar. 21, 2013 at 8:20 AM
My husband asked my dad first.
I loved it!
Of course he said yes...
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OHgirlinCA
by Bronze Member on Mar. 21, 2013 at 8:21 AM
1 mom liked this
My husband didn't. But he asked my daughter if He could marry me.

Quoting drivenleonian:

My Fiancé asked for my hand in marriage. My Parent's were excited. My Fiancé is a gentleman. He's also over 40. There aren't many guys left that would ask for a girls hand in marriage.




Quoting OHgirlinCA:

 Wow!  I think it's great that he asked her parents to begin with.  In this day and age, it's a nice gesture, but it's really up to the girlfriend.  I snickered when my brother said he was asking his girlfriend's parents for her hand in marriage before asking her to marry him.  They're 35! 


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MommyAJ2921
by on Mar. 21, 2013 at 8:57 AM

Wow....sorry to hear your brother went through that. Asking for permission is sweet and old fashioned. I agree with the other ladies...its really up to the girlfriend. So long as SHE sees how great a dad your brother is and KNOWS what happened with the baby's mom there should be no problem. My only fear is now that her dad knows your brother wants to marry him he's going to behave like a jerk and possibly scare your brother off all together. Anybody else thinking of Robert DeNiro and Ben Stiller from "Meet the Parents"??

MommyAJ2921
by on Mar. 21, 2013 at 8:59 AM
1 mom liked this

Now THAT is cute.  


Quoting OHgirlinCA:

My husband didn't. But he asked my daughter if He could marry me.

Quoting drivenleonian:

My Fiancé asked for my hand in marriage. My Parent's were excited. My Fiancé is a gentleman. He's also over 40. There aren't many guys left that would ask for a girls hand in marriage.




Quoting OHgirlinCA:

 Wow!  I think it's great that he asked her parents to begin with.  In this day and age, it's a nice gesture, but it's really up to the girlfriend.  I snickered when my brother said he was asking his girlfriend's parents for her hand in marriage before asking her to marry him.  They're 35! 



 

Luv.My.Kidz
by Bronze Member on Mar. 21, 2013 at 9:20 AM

WOW... just WOW!

GF needs to make the decision on this... she'll either have to go against her dad or hit splitsville and never know what she had with your brother!

That had to sting your brother's ego and heart a lot!

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