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30 Something Moms 30 Something Moms

No! You can not marry my daughter!

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So the other day my little brother (well I guess not LITTLE lol he is 24) took his girlfriends parents out for supper to ask their permission to ask Kelley to marry him. Well when he asked her dad looked him in the eye and was like "No! Absolutely not! Kelley deserves so much better than you. I will not allow her to marry a man who has had a child out of wedlock and did not marry her." After he said this to him got up and walked out! While yes my brother had a child at 17. But he WANTED to marry his DD's mom. But she didn't want to get married just because they were having a baby. Well that was for the better because they make MUCH better friends than they did a couple. My brother is an AMAZING father to his daughter. His girlfriends parents have even told him he is an amazing dad. So what do you ladies think he should do? Should he talk to his girlfriend about it? Would you ever tell your DD's boyfriend no for that reason?
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by on Mar. 20, 2013 at 2:38 PM
Replies (41-50):
Luv.My.Kidz
by Bronze Member on Mar. 21, 2013 at 9:25 AM

My DF is 25 and asked my dad for my hand... he was soooo nervous.... he was literally sweating like crazy....

Quoting drivenleonian:

My Fiancé asked for my hand in marriage. My Parent's were excited. My Fiancé is a gentleman. He's also over 40. There aren't many guys left that would ask for a girls hand in marriage.


Quoting OHgirlinCA:

 Wow!  I think it's great that he asked her parents to begin with.  In this day and age, it's a nice gesture, but it's really up to the girlfriend.  I snickered when my brother said he was asking his girlfriend's parents for her hand in marriage before asking her to marry him.  They're 35! 



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kbeeck
by on Mar. 21, 2013 at 10:23 AM
1 mom liked this

If your really old fashioned I can see it being a problem. It sounds to me like your brother is somewhat old fashioned as well. There's not very many guys that would ask permission. I guess he could always ask her and know that her father does like him. I guess you just have to think I'm marring my partner not their parents. Tough spot, but he has do what makes him happy. If he truely loves her then why not ask her and see what she says and wants.

Raeann11
by Silver Member on Mar. 21, 2013 at 10:31 AM

It is up to his girlfriend and not the father. This is one reason I hate that some feel they need to and have to. I think that it has nothing to do with them. They are not the ones marry the person.

I know my parents would have told my hubby no. Because they refused to get to know him. They thought because he has long hair and wore a trench coat. They knew everything about him. He was a drug seller because of this. Well guess what Mom and Dad he is not and guess what my lovely before him you loved that dressed nice, had a nice car, had a good job. He was the one doing that.

He never asked and I know it bugged them. But they finally decided to get to know him and found out he was a wonderful person and treats there daughter right.

AuntieMom101
by on Mar. 21, 2013 at 10:36 AM
What a horrible way for a father to behave!!!! When our daughter and SIL got married the only thing that mattered was if he was good to her and would take care of her. (She was 16 when they started dating and 21 when they got married) I already knew he was the 1 for her. I would feel different if the man was the biggest lowlife ever. But then he wouldn't be asking for my blessing would he? Lol.
Good luck to your brother and his (hopefully) future wife :)
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Eve-marie
by on Mar. 21, 2013 at 10:47 AM

They are adults and asking for her hand was a sign of respect and traditional but it's their decision ultimately. If they want to get married then her father's attitude shouldn't be the thing that stops them. 

tinykitty
by on Mar. 21, 2013 at 11:17 AM
If his girlfriends father felt that strongly, then I'm sure she and your brother knew her father was likely to respond that way. Hopefully it won't stop him from proposing to his girlfriend.
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G2Mama
by Bronze Member on Mar. 21, 2013 at 1:25 PM

not for that reason.  has he talked to his gf at all about it? I'd think it would be totally up to her.  I'm thankful my parents were in support of my marriage but I'd have married my dh anyway and they would have just had to come around.  Good for him asking, that takes courage.  I"m sorry the dad was so close minded!  Some people are just stuck in stupid!

G2Mama
by Bronze Member on Mar. 21, 2013 at 1:26 PM

To add, my dh and I both have kids from previous marriages and both his parents and mine treat all the kids the same.

G2Mama
by Bronze Member on Mar. 21, 2013 at 1:31 PM

My dh, was 45 when he and I got married and he asked my dad first. Then we just went away and did it, came home and told everyone.

Quoting Luv.My.Kidz:

My DF is 25 and asked my dad for my hand... he was soooo nervous.... he was literally sweating like crazy....

Quoting drivenleonian:

My Fiancé asked for my hand in marriage. My Parent's were excited. My Fiancé is a gentleman. He's also over 40. There aren't many guys left that would ask for a girls hand in marriage.


Quoting OHgirlinCA:

 Wow!  I think it's great that he asked her parents to begin with.  In this day and age, it's a nice gesture, but it's really up to the girlfriend.  I snickered when my brother said he was asking his girlfriend's parents for her hand in marriage before asking her to marry him.  They're 35! 




erikadi
by Member on Mar. 21, 2013 at 1:38 PM

I think he should see if his girlfriend says yes. He did not have to ask the parents permission. If she says yes they will just have to get used to the  idea. I would not tell my daughter's boyfriend no for that reason.

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