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30 Something Moms 30 Something Moms

No! You can not marry my daughter!

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So the other day my little brother (well I guess not LITTLE lol he is 24) took his girlfriends parents out for supper to ask their permission to ask Kelley to marry him. Well when he asked her dad looked him in the eye and was like "No! Absolutely not! Kelley deserves so much better than you. I will not allow her to marry a man who has had a child out of wedlock and did not marry her." After he said this to him got up and walked out! While yes my brother had a child at 17. But he WANTED to marry his DD's mom. But she didn't want to get married just because they were having a baby. Well that was for the better because they make MUCH better friends than they did a couple. My brother is an AMAZING father to his daughter. His girlfriends parents have even told him he is an amazing dad. So what do you ladies think he should do? Should he talk to his girlfriend about it? Would you ever tell your DD's boyfriend no for that reason?
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by on Mar. 20, 2013 at 2:38 PM
Replies (51-56):
mama.samm.2.3
by on Mar. 21, 2013 at 3:08 PM
They have talked about getting married. They have been together almost 2yrs now. When they have talked about it she said she would like him to ask her parents. Well he told her that was his plan anyways lol. He is going to take her out to a nice dinner this weekend. Talk to her about what her dad said and purpose all at the same time. I'm hurt for him because they have known since they started dating that he has a child. But it has never seemed to bother them until now.


Quoting G2Mama:

not for that reason.  has he talked to his gf at all about it? I'd think it would be totally up to her.  I'm thankful my parents were in support of my marriage but I'd have married my dh anyway and they would have just had to come around.  Good for him asking, that takes courage.  I"m sorry the dad was so close minded!  Some people are just stuck in stupid!


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Knightquester
by Silver Member on Mar. 21, 2013 at 3:27 PM


Quote:
Should he talk to his girlfriend about it?

Yes, he's 24 years old and I'm guessing she is around his age, so they're both adults and should make the ultimate decision together.  It was polite of him to ask her parents, and he should let his girlfriend know that he did and their response and if she wishes to marry him.  He should confront her with it or she will think your brothers a flake for never asking her to marry him and blame him, instead of her parents.

Quote:
Would you ever tell your DD's boyfriend no for that reason?

If my daughters boyfriend was a responsible and good father then it would not bother me.  If he showed signs of being abusive, or having some addiction then I might be less likely to accept a marriage to my daughter.

la_bella_vita
by Bronze Member on Mar. 21, 2013 at 9:50 PM

 That's sad and no that's not a good reason

story0702
by on Mar. 21, 2013 at 11:04 PM
I agree

Quoting huntersmama711:

I agree with this.



Quoting conniejo75:

It is up to the girlfriend not her dad. He should talk to his gf about what was said though
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liliem
by on Mar. 22, 2013 at 12:49 AM

Some people are so conformist. He should do what he wants to do and just marry her. This whole dad's permission thing is retarded. Why doesn't his girlfriend go get permission from his mom since that's where the real clash is going to come from anyway... Even my dad who used to be like this (culturally to the death) then took a look at my husband and said go ahead, because he knew our decision was made anyway and it really didn't matter what he said because he learned from experience that I was going to do what I wanted regardless and he wanted to be apart of mine and my childrens lives and didn't want my husband to act negatively toward me for his behavior. Yes, my dads that smart because he sees what his first daughter goes through with someone he approved of. Its a shame her father reacted that way. He needs to grow up. Funny both my siblings married the way they were supposed to and had huge weddings and my parents hate their significant others while they LOVE my husband and ours people have literally disowned us as family because he's not the same ethnicity or religion. Crazy!!!

Diane1223
by Bronze Member on Mar. 22, 2013 at 12:59 AM
I would talk to the girlfriend
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