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Think I need to start keeping a Journal. Sorry RANT

Posted by on Mar. 24, 2013 at 8:48 AM
  • 22 Replies
After 13 years of only having Hubby's side of the Family to lean on I still do not feel accepted. My SILs constantly go out together (sometimes my BILs are with them) and Hubby and I aren't included. Easter is coming up and no one has brought up if we are doing anything together and Hubby and I are both tired of making all the plans. My family is in CA and I'm stuck in PA with a family who does not seem to want anything to do with us pr me and its hard. My Hubby keeps asking me "Why do I care?" Or "How come I let it affect me so much?" We'll it's because I have no one else and he nor anyone else here in PA seem to get that!! All I have is his Family to lean on yet they do not seem to care for me. I want to go on FB or a Blog and post all this but then I seem like a 36 yr old whiny baby because I want to be with Family. The only reason I accepted to move away from my Family in CA to here in PA was because Hubby's Family was huge and did things together every weekend and we all used to laugh together and have a great time. I don't know what happened but no one wants to do anything. They all go out and I read about it and it hurts I would just leave FB but its my connection to Family in CA. Maybe it's my hormones talking since AF is coming or maybe after 13 years and the last two weekends we have not been included in things, I don't know but I'm just hurt and tired of being hurt and don't know what to do about it anymore. Maybe I should go seek a Councelor again just so I have someone to talk to. Sorry for the rant I'm just feeling lonely and no one seems to understand what I'm going through.

I see a lot of other families where the SILs are more like sisters, the BILs seem more like brothers and just wish I had that. I want to put something out on FB like "Missing Family and after 13 yrs no one gets that" or "Just wish after 13 yrs I could be considered Family already and be invited out and not just to a Birthday party"

Sorry for the long rant but feeling upset right now and had to get it off my chest.
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by on Mar. 24, 2013 at 8:48 AM
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Replies (1-10):
woodmama13
by on Mar. 24, 2013 at 2:44 PM
1 mom liked this

I know how you feel! All of our family is out in CA and we are in MO... recently I offered to pay for my BIL to come visit and he told me no, but that I could buy my hubby a ticket there. I was very disapointed since I've never done anything to them. They think I moved him away to be away from them, but we moved to better our life. It sucks!

HappyMom2013
by on Mar. 24, 2013 at 9:01 PM
1 mom liked this

Hi! Im new here but I read your Rant, and You sound like you are in a real tough spot. I hope everything works out for you soon. I think its hard, even after so many years being involved with a family to feel so out of the loop with them. 

Firewoman33
by Silver Member on Mar. 24, 2013 at 9:24 PM

I think talking to a counselor could be a great idea for you. Maybe he can give you some ideas on how to approach the issue or on how to get over it. 

I don't know if this is remotely helpful but my inlaws are not exactly chummy, either. 

AuntieMom101
by on Mar. 24, 2013 at 10:56 PM
My DH family is mostly the same way. Seems like they don't value family quite the same way I do (DH included). Nobody has been to any of our important events but they want me to come to theirs. We have been to a few but I stopped going when nobody called or came to see DS2 when he was in NICU....and seeing as how I am extremely loud his family is all aware of how I feel about them now :). It still bothers me but I have just surrounded myself with people I do enjoy being around with. I learned that family isn't necessarily who you are related to :)
I pray your situation gets better soon. See a counselor to help you with coping skills.
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countrymomma81
by Platinum Member on Mar. 24, 2013 at 11:27 PM

I'm sorry you deal with that. My SIL and I are super close but neither her nor my husband talk to their brother. We (with the exception of BIL and his wife) do things together a lot. I don't know what I'd do if they didn't accept me because I'm not that close with my own family:(

Pukalani79
by Kris on Mar. 25, 2013 at 1:57 AM

 I'm sorry you're going through this

BelleVernonGirl
by on Mar. 25, 2013 at 4:14 AM

Where in PA are you...

Sorry you're having a hard time

mumsy2three
by Shauna on Mar. 25, 2013 at 7:23 AM

I think talking to a counselor is a good idea, journaling isn't a bad idea either.

I would have a very difficult time if I wasn't living close to my family. Hugs!

KylesMom409
by Linnette on Mar. 25, 2013 at 7:41 AM
Me too. :( Hugs and we're here for you in any way we can be, hun.

Quoting Pukalani79:

 I'm sorry you're going through this

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LuvHugs429
by Gold Member on Mar. 25, 2013 at 9:06 AM
I live in Levittown, Pa. It's about 45 min outside Philly. Thank you for taking the time to read.

Quoting BelleVernonGirl:

Where in PA are you...

Sorry you're having a hard time

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