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Helicopter mom

Posted by on Mar. 25, 2013 at 2:55 PM
  • 41 Replies

So Friday night DD had a little friend come and stay the night - this little girl is awesome I love her, the mom is really nice too she's just a bit of a helicopter parent (always hovering) so the girls have supper, shower and are all tucked in watching a movie in DD's bedroom and sure enough, the mom calls.  When I told her that the girls were all tucked in and stuff she told me "Okay just tell DD I say good night" but still, she wanted to know what they were up to etc etc -  the next morning before 9h30am she called again - it cracks me up !

When your child is at a friend's house do you call ??  I don't ! I only call the next morning at a reasonable hour (10am or so) to ask what time I should pick up my kid. DD knows to call home if there's anything

by on Mar. 25, 2013 at 2:55 PM
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Replies (1-10):
OliviaW.
by Bronze Member on Mar. 25, 2013 at 2:58 PM
My kids haven't ever stayed anywhere without me yet. I probably am a helicopter mom but it happens when you have a nonverbal kid that likes to run.
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Briesmom38
by Silver Member on Mar. 25, 2013 at 2:59 PM

Nope, I don't call.  My dd is 11 and I know the parents of any of her friends that she would spend the night at, I know she will be safe and they will watch over her.  She knows to call home if there is a problem and I would only call if there was a problem on my end.  I usually work out pick up times prior so I just need to show up.

** It's 5 O'clock Somewhere **

JoGibson
by on Mar. 25, 2013 at 3:07 PM
3 moms liked this

mine are older so I will send a text saying "still alive?"  if she answers yes then I leave her be, if she answers no I go get her.


I see nothing wrong with being an involved parent, it seems that more and more kids are becoming victims of predators over electronics and through people the parents trust.  We just had two arrests in the next town over where men were taking advantage of girls as young as 10 that went to their house to visit their daughters and a teacher and teacher's aid were just arrested for sexually abusiving mentally delayed children.

And where did it all start?  Texts.  I placed an app on the kid's cellphones that sends me a copy of every text received and sent from their phone to ensure their safety (it is actually an app to catch cheating spouses, I just found a better use for it LOL).  It also sends me any number received or called.  And any pictures sent or received also get sent to me as well. That way if they erase their phone info I still have the info (in the one arrest the 13 year old girl was going along with it and willingly sending pics of herself to the guy.  I don't think ,my daughter ever would but better safe than a victim). You just cannot trust people these days.

Knightquester
by Silver Member on Mar. 25, 2013 at 3:22 PM

When the kids were younger (under age 6) I called, but now that they're older I don't.  When the kids were younger I would mostly call once to see if they were behaving well and settling in good, but really I agree it's not needed.

I don't see the mom being a helicopter parent if she calls to check-up on her kid, unless she calls non-stop.  I've actually had some of my children's friends parents say they would sleepover with their kid if their kid slept at my house and offered for me to sleep over at their house if my child slept there (which I couldn't picture doing).  I've even met parents that consider the very idea of a sleepover to be something they can't picture doing because they can't picture being away from their child for one night.  It's those parents who cannot picture not being with their kid 24/7 are more of the helicopter parent IMO.

hismommy2010
by Member on Mar. 25, 2013 at 3:25 PM
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 I wouldn't say she's a helicopter mom because she called checking on her kid. maybe she just wants to make sure she's ok, and be a responsible parent. Maybe it was the girls first time staying away from home?

MJP76
by on Mar. 25, 2013 at 3:27 PM

It's rare that my children stay outside of my home. If they do, it's typically with a trusted parent that I've known for a while, so I'd let them be.

nodramamama311
by on Mar. 25, 2013 at 3:28 PM

I dont call anymore now that our daughter is 11, at least not that much and not really at all if she is just at their house. If they go somewhere, for example one time they went to Dallas which is 3 hours away, overnight. I did call several times to check on her, plus she has her own phone so I can check on her that way too. Sorry if some think thats excessive but its how I feel better when my kids are gone so too bad.

countrymomma81
by Platinum Member on Mar. 25, 2013 at 3:38 PM

We don't call at all unless there is a reason to. My son loves spending the night at friends' houses but we know all of the parents. 

My daughter only goes to my mom's, my grandma's or MIL's but she's only 5. 

Jinxed8
by Gold Member on Mar. 25, 2013 at 3:54 PM

The little girl has stayed at my house before and my DD has stayed there overnight before as well.  I only let DD sleep at houses where I know the parents.  But in this case the mom knows me very well the girls do gym together etc.  I know she's a helicopter parent because I know her outside of this sleepover too.  She very much needs to hover over her children.  She ended up staying the whole time for DD's birthday party ... hey she ended up helping me out and she was great but staying with your kids at a Bday party when they're 9 ?  She asks me to drive her DD to gym class and she ends up showing up there anyways ; She also admitted to me that her and her husband haven't had a night alone in 8 years (since she had her youngest son) - I mean I love my daughter to death but when she's invited somewhere to sleep over,  I practically do the happy dance !  it's a treat for me as much as it is for her.

Quoting hismommy2010:

 I wouldn't say she's a helicopter mom because she called checking on her kid. maybe she just wants to make sure she's ok, and be a responsible parent. Maybe it was the girls first time staying away from home?


 

BuckeyezRule
by Bronze Member on Mar. 25, 2013 at 4:18 PM

Nope, no calls. But, we all have each others cells, and will text if need be. I might send the parents a pic. :)

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