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Contemplations on Mortality

Posted by on Mar. 28, 2013 at 5:55 PM
  • 2 Replies

My grandmother died this past Saturday. We buried her yesterday and, though I'm a 36 year old woman who can think logically, I couldn't stop thinking, "We can't leave her here." She had so much life and vitality, but, at almost 90, her body just stopped working. She survived a car wreck a couple of years ago so I think that might have taken a little out of her, but she was a mover and a shaker to the end (she even made Sunday dinner before my mom took her to the hospital). 

Now, though, I can't seem to shake this fear of dying, leaving my husband and my children. I fear getting older and I still find it hard to believe that I'm 36 already. My husband is 41 and his family is loaded with health issues so I'm concerned about him too.

I know this is all a reaction to my grandmother's passing and I know, with time, it will get better, but this has shaken me to the core. I loved that woman dearly and my family and I are reeling from this. I hope we can all keep ourselves together now that she's gone.

Thanks. I just needed a moment to vent.

by on Mar. 28, 2013 at 5:55 PM
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Pink.Frosting
by Bronze Member on Mar. 28, 2013 at 7:21 PM

I think at our age, the fact the we really and truly are going to continue to age sets in.  I'm 38, dh is 42, and we are always telling each other that we're not spring chicks anymore.  I think for most, through their 20s they coast along and aging is something that is actually welcomed.  Like when your 20 you think you'll feel so much more adult at 25 and then at 25 you think you'll have it all together so much better at 30.  But then once the scale tips into the 30s....and then the late 30s....physical aging isn't quite as fun and cool as it used to be, lol.  Granted, the wisdom gained is most definitely the prize we get and I wouldn't trade that for the world.  But the other side of that coin is having to settle in and get comfy with your own mortality.  It's not that fun but it is necessary.  Just know you're not the only one with these thoughts.  I think it's normal at our age.

mrjonesii
by on Mar. 29, 2013 at 10:02 AM

I think of getting older and it frighten me a lil too. Sorry to hear about your lost. Grandmother's are special.

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