My grandmother died this past Saturday. We buried her yesterday and, though I'm a 36 year old woman who can think logically, I couldn't stop thinking, "We can't leave her here." She had so much life and vitality, but, at almost 90, her body just stopped working. She survived a car wreck a couple of years ago so I think that might have taken a little out of her, but she was a mover and a shaker to the end (she even made Sunday dinner before my mom took her to the hospital).
Now, though, I can't seem to shake this fear of dying, leaving my husband and my children. I fear getting older and I still find it hard to believe that I'm 36 already. My husband is 41 and his family is loaded with health issues so I'm concerned about him too.
I know this is all a reaction to my grandmother's passing and I know, with time, it will get better, but this has shaken me to the core. I loved that woman dearly and my family and I are reeling from this. I hope we can all keep ourselves together now that she's gone.
Thanks. I just needed a moment to vent.