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My ex husband has petitioned the catholic church for an annulment. We dated 2 years. Were married 5 years and have 2 children as a result of our marriage. We split because he didn't want to be a husband anymore and he thought he was depressed...which I was supportive of., but said was no reason for a divorce. He started dating a girl 1 year after our divorce was final and became engaged to her. She is Catholic. NEITHER of us are catholic and he doesn't want to become catholic. He can't understand why I am offended that he wants our marriage to be annulled. I don't want to be married to him, that isn't why I am upset, I am quite at peace with the divorce now and think it was a blessing in disguise. That being said I was still in my marriage for the right reasons. Would you be upset if your ex wanted to have your marriage judged as invalid?

by on Apr. 1, 2013 at 1:02 PM
Replies (11-20):
lcm3181
by on Apr. 1, 2013 at 1:35 PM



Quoting JoGibson:

No, it clearly was not meant to be.  And it clears you if some day your love happens to be catholic.


My SO and I are very far from Catholic, lol.

conniejo75
by Bronze Member on Apr. 1, 2013 at 1:38 PM
If you're not Catholic, why does it matter? You were still legally married... just that church decides they won't recognize it. Makes no difference to you or your kids.
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lcm3181
by on Apr. 1, 2013 at 1:42 PM



Quoting conniejo75:

If you're not Catholic, why does it matter? You were still legally married... just that church decides they won't recognize it. Makes no difference to you or your kids.


Because a group of random men are sitting around judging my past by a few pieces of paper. We were not married in a catholic church, neither one of us are catholic, so who the eff are they to judge me and my life? It's the principal behind it. I know it doesn't change anything legally.

conniejo75
by Bronze Member on Apr. 1, 2013 at 1:44 PM
Again, who cares? Like you said these men are nothing to you. You didn't have to sign anything if it bothered you that much. Their decision doesn't affect your life at all.


Quoting lcm3181:




Quoting conniejo75:

If you're not Catholic, why does it matter? You were still legally married... just that church decides they won't recognize it. Makes no difference to you or your kids.



Because a group of random men are sitting around judging my past by a few pieces of paper. We were not married in a catholic church, neither one of us are catholic, so who the eff are they to judge me and my life? It's the principal behind it. I know it doesn't change anything legally.


Posted on CafeMom Mobile
mrsary
by Silver Member on Apr. 1, 2013 at 1:50 PM
So he prefers the kids thinking Mom & Dad were f*** buddies and conceived kids outside of marriage?? Double standards here. Smh


Quoting lcm3181:

And he keeps telling me that it is just a piece of paper to him, it doesn't change the past. Well if it is just a piece of paper to him then why is he doing it!?! It would be one thing if it was something he whole-heartedly believed in, but he doesn't. And he tells me that the kids don't need to be told about this in the future. I'm not going to throw him under the bus but it sure as hell won't be a secret! He's a good dad so I'd never harm that relationship but hiding things isn't my way of life.



Quoting BlueJane:

I thought you could only annul because of fraud or lying or no kids. There doesn't seem to be any grounds for annulment.

I would be so hurt if my dh decided he didn't want our marriage to ever have exsisted. It's one thing to break up and get divorced but another to deny it ever happened.





Quoting Pukalani79:

I'm so sorry.  I would be extremely hurt if that happened.  What are the grounds he's seeking the annullment on?







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lcm3181
by on Apr. 1, 2013 at 2:04 PM
3 moms liked this

I guess so! My theory is that she knew he was divorced when they met. She knew he had 2 kids. Isn't loving someone about loving all of them and accepting everything about them?? She is also much younger and very naive. I don't think she realizes that she is trying to change the history of an entire family. We weren't some drunk Vegas couple, lol!


Quoting mrsary:

So he prefers the kids thinking Mom & Dad were f*** buddies and conceived kids outside of marriage?? Double standards here. Smh


Quoting lcm3181:

And he keeps telling me that it is just a piece of paper to him, it doesn't change the past. Well if it is just a piece of paper to him then why is he doing it!?! It would be one thing if it was something he whole-heartedly believed in, but he doesn't. And he tells me that the kids don't need to be told about this in the future. I'm not going to throw him under the bus but it sure as hell won't be a secret! He's a good dad so I'd never harm that relationship but hiding things isn't my way of life.



Quoting BlueJane:

I thought you could only annul because of fraud or lying or no kids. There doesn't seem to be any grounds for annulment.

I would be so hurt if my dh decided he didn't want our marriage to ever have exsisted. It's one thing to break up and get divorced but another to deny it ever happened.





Quoting Pukalani79:

I'm so sorry.  I would be extremely hurt if that happened.  What are the grounds he's seeking the annullment on?









AuntieMom101
by on Apr. 1, 2013 at 3:20 PM
I thought if you weren't married in the Catholic Church then your marriage isn't recognized anyway? Seems like I have heard that from my granny who was raised catholic but That could be wrong lol. Maybe I should have payed closer attention :)
I would personally be upset about because you have children together.
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ashleysmommy123
by on Apr. 1, 2013 at 3:23 PM
2 moms liked this

 I am Catholic and maybe I don't understand fully the situation, but if neither of you are Catholic and weren't married in a Catholic Church, by Catholic standards he or you were never married....so that shouldn't affect his new marriage in a Catholic church......for example....I am married to a non-catholic, I was afraid to go through the process of getting married in a Catholic church so I married outside the church....by Catholic Standards, I'm not married at all.


Quoting lcm3181:

 

 

Quoting conniejo75:

If you're not Catholic, why does it matter? You were still legally married... just that church decides they won't recognize it. Makes no difference to you or your kids.

 

Because a group of random men are sitting around judging my past by a few pieces of paper. We were not married in a catholic church, neither one of us are catholic, so who the eff are they to judge me and my life? It's the principal behind it. I know it doesn't change anything legally.


 

Crystal

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ashleysmommy123
by on Apr. 1, 2013 at 3:28 PM

 I guess I answered my own question here.....check this link out...it may interest you and answer some of your concerns regarding the kids;

http://www.archbalt.org/loader.cfm?csModule=security/getfile&pageid=6575


Quoting ashleysmommy123:

 I am Catholic and maybe I don't understand fully the situation, but if neither of you are Catholic and weren't married in a Catholic Church, by Catholic standards he or you were never married....so that shouldn't affect his new marriage in a Catholic church......for example....I am married to a non-catholic, I was afraid to go through the process of getting married in a Catholic church so I married outside the church....by Catholic Standards, I'm not married at all.

 

Quoting lcm3181:

 

 

Quoting conniejo75:

If you're not Catholic, why does it matter? You were still legally married... just that church decides they won't recognize it. Makes no difference to you or your kids.

 

Because a group of random men are sitting around judging my past by a few pieces of paper. We were not married in a catholic church, neither one of us are catholic, so who the eff are they to judge me and my life? It's the principal behind it. I know it doesn't change anything legally.

 

 


 

Crystal

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storkradio193
by on Apr. 1, 2013 at 5:49 PM

Seems strange to me that the Catholic church would even consider this type of annulment given that he is not Catholic and it was not a Catholic wedding.

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