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My ex husband has petitioned the catholic church for an annulment. We dated 2 years. Were married 5 years and have 2 children as a result of our marriage. We split because he didn't want to be a husband anymore and he thought he was depressed...which I was supportive of., but said was no reason for a divorce. He started dating a girl 1 year after our divorce was final and became engaged to her. She is Catholic. NEITHER of us are catholic and he doesn't want to become catholic. He can't understand why I am offended that he wants our marriage to be annulled. I don't want to be married to him, that isn't why I am upset, I am quite at peace with the divorce now and think it was a blessing in disguise. That being said I was still in my marriage for the right reasons. Would you be upset if your ex wanted to have your marriage judged as invalid?

by on Apr. 1, 2013 at 1:02 PM
Replies (21-30):
by on Apr. 1, 2013 at 5:51 PM

 Legally, your marriage does not qualify for annulment. However, I do not know what the Catholics are doing, but legally? No way.

by Ruby Member on Apr. 1, 2013 at 5:54 PM
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You're darn right I would be. It was important to both of us not to have children out of wedlock (and we didn't). Anulling our marriage would be like saying we weren't married ever, yet we have two kids. 

by on Apr. 2, 2013 at 8:16 AM
by on Apr. 2, 2013 at 9:55 AM
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I am Catholic and my patents are divorced and my mom got the annulment in case she ever wanted to remarry. The simplest explanation is that Basically all the annulment does is remove your marriage from the eyes of the church. It doesn't mean your marriage didn't exist or that the children didn't exist. It just erases the marriage from the church's records.
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by on Apr. 2, 2013 at 10:03 AM

I thought there had to be good reason/basis for an annulment. I got one from my first husband due to fraud. He lied to the me all the time, but more importantly in this situation was he lied to the priest during the Pre-Marital Investigation. That is a questionnaire that gets filled out by both people with the priest and then is discussed prior to marriage, so that some of these important issues that everyone should talk about before marriage do get talked about. It cost a lot, but I am glad I to be fully rid of him.

by on Apr. 2, 2013 at 10:23 AM

my dad ask the same thing of my mom. She agreed to it, and told him "good riddance"

by on Apr. 2, 2013 at 12:47 PM

Its a very personal choice. I wouldn't lie for him, that's for sure. I would be completely honest and let it fall where it may. That way they can all live with their negative karma and I will stay free of it.

by Member on Apr. 2, 2013 at 3:38 PM

He has no grounds for an annullment. My husband is Catholic, his ex-wife too. He sought an annullment, there were no kids involved, she committed adultery and stole $24000 from his business account. The church granted their annullment no problem. His sister kept in contact and considers this woman "her best friend" long and screwy backstory there <eye roll>, but when his ex got remarried and wanted an annullment after that divorce they would NOT grant it because she had kids with the man she divorced. She is remarried a third time now, but never was able to get married in the church again.

Your ex might have to convince his fiancee that they will have to get married in a different venue, like it or not. If they won't let them marry because he's divorced, they probably won't grant the annullment and if he gets denied the annullment what's she going to do, call off the marriage? I sincerely hope she's not that shallow or pious!

by on Apr. 2, 2013 at 3:48 PM
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Wow! It is seriously arrogant of a "church" to claim they have the right to annul a marriage. I don't remember a clause in our vows that says some ego-maniac can wave a magic wand and we can pretend we didn't commit our lives to one another. I would be upset. I am upset that this occurs and it doesn't even pertain to me.
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by on Apr. 2, 2013 at 3:53 PM
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It's doubtful if you two were married for 5 years and had children together that he would be granted an annulment.  It sounds like a brainless move on his part, if he wants it over divorce is his best and most likely only option.

Grounds for Annulment:

Bigamy - either party was already married to another person at the time of the marriage

Forced Consent - one of the spouses was forced or threatened into marriage and only entered into it under duress

Fraud - one of the spouses agreed to the marriage based on the lies or misrepresentation of the other

Marriage Prohibited By Law - marriage between parties that based on their familial relationship is considered incestuous

Mental Illness - either spouse was mentally ill or emotionally disturbed at the time of the marriage

Mental Incapacity - either spouse was under the influence of alcohol or drugs at the time of the marriage and was unable to make informed consent

Inability to Consummate Marriage - either spouse was physically incapable of having sexual relations or impotent during the marriage

Underage Marriage - either spouse was too young to enter into marriage without parental consent or court approval

Since he was in the marriage for 5 years it doesn't sound like the mental illness or depression can be grounds for his annulment unless he started anti-depressants before or around the time you two married and was on them during the entire time.

I would go with your back straight and testify that you two married, why, when, and how things were.  Bring wedding pictures of him smiling, ask for witnesses that are friends and family who know you both and can attest he willingly entered a marriage with you.  Make him out to be the fool he is acting like, and maybe he'll get why you're upset.

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