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Struggling financially as a single mom

Posted by on Apr. 4, 2013 at 1:59 PM
  • 20 Replies

I have a pretty big financial problem and have no idea how to fix it.  I currently work full time, have a 2 bedroom apartment that I pay $900 per month for, and pay $967 to child care each month (my daughter is in full time daycare, and my son in before and after care).  My ex just stopped paying child support because he doesn't have any money to give me.  He filed child support a little while ago, but, since he had no money to give me, the support order was put on hold until May 20, when hopefully he'll have money, but it doesn't look like it is going to happen.  At that point, it can either be postponed again, or he can withdraw it altogether.  Either way, I'm not getting anything.

I can't pay for the apartment, childcare (and camp this summer), bills, insurance (car and medical), and student loan by myself, never mind the gas, food, and clothes/shoes for my two children.  I am working extra jobs on the weekends (cleaning and direct selling - Silpada) that my ex has visitation, but it still isn't enough.  I don't have cable, and have cut expenses wherever I could.

My dad is 72, my mom is no longer living, my sister has a chronic illness, my brother lives in another state, and my inlaws still work full time.  Family isn't an option, unfortunately.  

My daughter will be in kindergarten this fall, but it is a half day.  I would still have to put out $420 for her, and $200 for my son for before/aftercare.  I could change school districts to one with a full day kindergarten, but that would mean a new apartment (I have no money to put down) and it would be mid school year.

Help, anyone?  How do single moms make this work?  If I work part time, I'll still be short on cash.  I could possibly work part time, M-F 9 - 2:30 so I can drop off and pick up, but would have to definitely work nights and weekends to make up for that money.  I would need to find reliable people to watch the kids on those nights.  And then I won't have the insurance coverage I have now with my full time job.  I am thinking that this may be the only option, however, this doesn't help with summer camp.  I make too much to qualify for any sort of government assistance.

I would appreciate any and all feedback!!  Thanks so much in advance.

by on Apr. 4, 2013 at 1:59 PM
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Replies (1-10):
by Platinum Member on Apr. 4, 2013 at 2:07 PM

it's hard, I know.  when I first got divorced, I bought my house believing that my other house would sell in a heart beat and it didn't.  I had to pay 2 mortgages, daycare for DD, summer camp etc etc etc  My ex only started paying me child support months after the divorce and declared bankrupcy so he didn't help me pay any expenses for the house or kid.

I got a credit margin at the bank to tie me over until my other house sold.  There's no harm in trying.

by on Apr. 4, 2013 at 2:53 PM

I would look for a different apartment first. My house payment is the same as your rent. And I am in a 3Br, 3 Bath, total 11 rooms in my home.

ALso If the X is not working he should watch the kids so save you on child care at least, until he finds a job.  Also.  Look and find a family members kid that will be out of school soon.  THey could be cheeper daycare for the summer, allowing you to save some money.

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by on Apr. 5, 2013 at 6:49 PM
I say your doing a dang good job!! It may b hard now, but keep in mind its not always going to b like this!! It's just stress, get your self together an regroup! Don't panic bc your doing it on your own!
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by Bronze Member on Apr. 5, 2013 at 8:03 PM

I say these ladies are giving awesome advice. Kids in high school would be cheaper daycare. I would also look in to money loans to help you for the meantime and have the X watch his kids too. Good luck!

by Silver Member on Apr. 5, 2013 at 8:09 PM
I agree. Have the x watch the kids.

I call BS on him having no money. How does he survive? Is he homeless?
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by Bronze Member on Apr. 5, 2013 at 8:12 PM
1 mom liked this
Why can't the ex watch the kids while your at work?
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by on Apr. 5, 2013 at 9:43 PM
If your X is not working he should be watching the children. make him keep the kids since he can't pay child support therefore he won't have to worry about his visitation. How does he live or even survive With no money?
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by Gold Member on Apr. 5, 2013 at 11:04 PM

I'd check into Dave RamseyRamsey

by Bronze Member on Apr. 6, 2013 at 12:53 AM
I agree- work something out with the ex & teens in the area. Definitely check your local church! Some might have youth members going to summer camps & needing money for that! I know personally my 3 teens are doing odd jobs for several people we know in order to earn money for that!
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by Bronze Member on Apr. 7, 2013 at 8:20 AM

New thought from my graduating high school senior.... a  lot of seniors are looking for summer jobs before they head off to college try asking in your local high school about posting an ad for babysitting services ( DD 17's school even has a program called early child development where the students have been working hands on all year with small children. Maybe a local school near you has something simalir ? )

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