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Should I let the ex move in?

Posted by on Apr. 8, 2013 at 9:06 AM
  • 27 Replies

I have posted recently about struggling financially.  My ex works, but works sporadically, and just got evicted. He asked to live with me a few times, but I've said no.  My daughter (5) has been really taking the divorce hard.  She gives me a tough time every day - tantrums, disrespect, whining, crying, complaining - very defiant. This morning she slapped my face, told me she doesn't like me anymore, and wants mommy and daddy to live together again.

I know it could be the "crazy" and panic in me talking, but do I allow him to stay with me until he finds a place? Will that ease my daughter's distress? Or would it just be more confusing?  I don't want to get back together with him.  I have no love left for him and have no desire to be with him.  I just don't know what to do.  I want my kids to be ok, and if I have to live with my ex to make that happen, I'm willing to do it.  Plus, living with me might be beneficial financially - he'll get back on his feet faster (hopefully), and I'll start getting the child support money I need to survive.  Or am I just being really dumb because I'm upset about my daughter?

by on Apr. 8, 2013 at 9:06 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Briesmom38
by Gold Member on Apr. 8, 2013 at 9:14 AM
3 moms liked this

I know how tuff things can be.  I kicked my ex husband out when my dd was barely 2 1/2 years old.  While it was a little tuff in the beginning she did finally adjust to him not living in the same house as her.  I understand how it could benefit you financially letting him come back but I wouldn't do it.  It will be really confusing to your dd who is already having a tuff time with it.  You can't cave just because she's upset with you.  You just need to reassure her that you  and her father love her very much, but mommy and daddy can't live together any longer.  

Believe me things will get better.  

** It's 5 O'clock Somewhere **

breebree04
by on Apr. 8, 2013 at 2:23 PM

I wouldnt do it. Your dd will adjust eventually to the situation but if you allow him to move in your just putting a  bandaid on the wound. She will be more devistated when he moves back out again. She has to have time to heal and adjust to the seperation and before long, mommy and daddy not living together will be normal for her.

SallyB_LMT
by Bronze Member on Apr. 8, 2013 at 4:27 PM
1 mom liked this

Not unless you are prepared to deal with the immense headache and aftermath of moving him back out again.

mom4awesomekids
by Member on Apr. 8, 2013 at 5:01 PM

There's no way I could do it.

Marimaru
by on Apr. 8, 2013 at 6:06 PM
1 mom liked this

I think if you let him stay with you, your daughter will think you are back together and be even worse when he leaves.

I think you and your daughter need to get into some family counseling together.

iamtryingforme
by Member on Apr. 8, 2013 at 8:43 PM

Don't do it. It will just confuse the kids even more. You are exes for a reason.  

diaperstodating
by Angel on Apr. 8, 2013 at 8:44 PM

No.

sallyvm
by on Apr. 8, 2013 at 8:47 PM
I am going through the same thing. The only reason why I would consider is so he can still be with our son. Friend me if you would like, and good luck
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Vix920
by on Apr. 8, 2013 at 9:04 PM

I don't have any experience with that but it seems like it would be more confusing to your DD if your ex was living with you again, especially temporarily.

CampClan
by Bronze Member on Apr. 8, 2013 at 9:19 PM

I say don't do it. There is a reason he is your ex. It may sound harsh but she is just going to have to deal with it. Get her into counseling. And the rest of the family too. This effects everyone. If you let him move back in she will think she is getting her way in a sense & that you guys are getting back together. What happens when he is finally back on his feet & moves out again?

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