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Bad relationships with parents

Posted by on Apr. 19, 2013 at 8:47 AM
  • 25 Replies

My husbands parents have a great relationship with him. I'm very lucky to have found that relationship as a lot of my friends dont get along with their inlaws.

As a parent I cannot imagine not loving my kids.
BUT As a parent I look at the relationship with my parents and feel I am not loved....I am tollerated.
I dont have the best of relationships with my parents. (Verrrrrrrrry long post if I went into it so I will spare you)
We pretend to get along...we dont get along. There has never been a big blow out or yelling.
I would love to say I'm the parent I am today because of the way I was raised (in a positive light).

Do you ever hit an age/stage in your life where you accept the parenting you had and the current relationship status....or are you always wanting for more?

by on Apr. 19, 2013 at 8:47 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Jinxed8
by Gold Member on Apr. 19, 2013 at 9:47 AM

I have a good relationship with my parents ... I may not be as close to them as my sister but it's still good.   My parents are not super involved in the personal details of my life, not for the lack of trying though.  I'd rather be totally independant from them and for them to be on a need to know basis.  When I got divorced, my mother tried her best but I gently asked her to back off.  They are awesome grand-parents to my DD though.

My MIL loves her kids but shows it in a very different way than my parents.  When her son moved out of State away from her to be with me, she didn't even hug him goodbye.  She calls the house several times a week though and is super involved in everything - she knows all the details of our lives, she asks about everyone, including all our pets. She defends my honor all the time when DH tells her about stuff that happens at work or with my ex, she's awesome. 

AuntieMom101
by on Apr. 19, 2013 at 10:08 AM
I have a very bad relationship with my mom. If I told you our whole situation we would be here for WEEKS!! I gave up in having any kind of relationship with her because of her negativity and being so judgemental. I only see her maybe once a year and only talk to her if there is a family emergency or she texts me first.
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lovemybabes3
by on Apr. 19, 2013 at 10:15 AM

i never had a good relationship with my mother, i was always closer with my dad. Now, i have no relationship with either...i dont talk to them, i do my dad but its short and thru text...my mom i cannot talk to in person bc we fight and my kids hate that, she doesnt reply to my emails...they think i am ungrateful and want me to live exactly how they want me to and bc i dont, they get bad at me...i dont think i will ever have a good relationship w/ either of them again and i am accepting that

snowangel1979
by Bronze Member on Apr. 19, 2013 at 10:27 AM
I get along with my inlaws great.
I don't have a good relationship with my mother. I don't really have a good relationship with my father because of my mother. He just goes along with whatever she says even if he knows she's in the wrong. He really has no back bone when it comes to her. I've only heard him get on her once and that was when I had my oldest she said something at the hospital and he told her to quote-Shut it or go sit in the car. She looked shocked.

I didn't talk to my mother for over 2 years. We started talking again about 3 years ago. She's starting again with little remarks, so I'm pretty sure I'm unfortunately going to have to cut contact again soon.

I'm just to the point in my life where I'm not a people pleaser anymore. I'm not rude to anyone but if your rude to me, try to cut me down to make yourself feel better, Ect. I'm not just going to roll over and take it. I won't allow toxic relationships anymore. (it took me a long time to get like this)
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Pukalani79
by Kris on Apr. 19, 2013 at 11:58 AM
1 mom liked this

 I have a good relationship with my parents and in-laws so I can't really relate.  It seems like any relationship worth having is worth working on, whether it means changing my attitude or how I approach things.  Unfortunately we can only work on ourselves though.   I'm glad you have a good relationship with your in-laws at least!

mommymeade
by on Apr. 19, 2013 at 5:08 PM

you just have to accept it and make it better for your kids.



mumsy2three
by Shauna on Apr. 19, 2013 at 5:17 PM

I agree with this.


Quoting mommymeade:

you just have to accept it and make it better for your kids.




diaperstodating
by Angel on Apr. 19, 2013 at 8:42 PM

hugs

Karen_29
by on Apr. 19, 2013 at 8:55 PM

I have a great relationship with my mom and step dad but not so much with my dad. With my biological dad he tolerates me and I tolerate him and thats about it. My mom is my best friend. She has been there for me when noone else was. She has seen me at my best and worst and her love for me never changed. When I got pregnant at 17 she was disappointed but said ok we will get through this. My stepdad was the dad that my biological dad wasnt to me. we just found out this last summer that he has dementia and it is getting worse. This is heartbreaking to me. I am who I am and the kind of parent I am because of them. I do not think I would be as good of a parent if they hadnt been a positive influence in my life.

On the other hand my M-I-L is awful!! My husband loves her but she talks about everyone behind their backs..My husband,his sister,me,our kids,etc. This has caused a bad relationship between her and my kids. They usually dont want to even see her.

TugBoatMama
by on Apr. 19, 2013 at 8:58 PM

I always wish I could have had "normal" parents. I can't even put my finger on exactly what is wrong with them. But like you, we pretty much pretend to get along for the sake of my kids. We make small talk and get together for things, but I can't have an actual adult conversation with my parents. They don't even know who I really am as a person at all. They refuse to ever treat me as the adult I am.

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