Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

30 Something Moms 30 Something Moms

Baby FEVER: Desperate for third baby, but husband NOT ON BOARD, says he's DONE

Posted by on Apr. 20, 2013 at 10:55 PM
  • 31 Replies

 

Poll

Question: Do you and your partner agree on how many children you would like in your family?

Options:

yes

no


Only group members can vote in this poll.

Total Votes: 50

View Results

Help! I'm suffering from terrible baby fever. Every second every day, I am praying and hoping that there's been an accident and that I'm pregnant. It's right around the time (my daughter is almost two) so for close babies that I've been planning for YEARS, I wanted my third pregnancy and third baby now or inthe next nine months. 

I see babies who are six months and under and I dream of my phantom third baby, I am waking at night and just thinking about it, alot because I am heartbroken over the fact that my husband DOES NOT ANOTHER CHILD.

What on earth do I do? Do YOU suffer from baby fever. How do we solve this? I don't really want a divorce or a sperm donar, but goodness I feel desperate over this. I'm debating going to counseling with him. I can't escape this feeling and I'm so ready ready ready to have another baby. My BODY has somehow switched itself to a 23 day menstruel cycle, because that feeling of fertility is so kicked up. Yes, I know it's hormones causing this baby fever, but it's also my heart, my soul and my desired for a larger than two children family. He knew when we married that I wanted four kids, and three was my compromise. Granted, he hasn't run out and gotten a vasectomy yet, but I can tell he's thinking about it. I simply do not know what to do. We started talking about it one night alot, and it's just so challenging to deal with.  He says another child will make him unhappy, don't I want a happy husband?

What about me, what about living for the next thirty years with regret of a ghost baby that I can feel so close beyong my heart in the dream land, a soul calling to me that is calling and calling. I am in tears about this. Have any one else dealt with this, what on earth did you do? I'm so emotional about it, the idea that I may not ever get my third child just feels heartbreaking.   

I just turned 36, do I have time for just about 1 more, and he is 42 about to turn 43, so it really does feel like now or never lately. 



by on Apr. 20, 2013 at 10:55 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
KylesMom409
by Linnette on Apr. 20, 2013 at 11:02 PM
I know how you feel. We only have one, he just turned 6, and I've wanted another baby since after DS was born. DS has even gone to DH and said "Daddy, I want a baby brother". I don't know how else to get the point across to him. I'll be 37 this year, DH will be 41 next month, so I feel like I'm running out of time too. Don't get me wrong, I give thanks EVERY DAY that I have a happy, healthy son but I want one more baby so badly. I hope you and your husband eventually see eye to eye so it doesn't cause any marital strife and problems and keep us posted!
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
jackiewal10
by Bronze Member on Apr. 20, 2013 at 11:07 PM
1 mom liked this

That was my DH's view too. Didn't want a 3rd.  Well...now he has no choice because we had an oops!  :)  So...3rd, and last, baby on the way.

ooCherryo0
by on Apr. 20, 2013 at 11:13 PM

That happened with me and my husband. I wanted just one more and he didn't. It didn't end well. I ended up pregnant and it put a lot of stress on our relationship. I lost my little guy at 20 weeks. I would suggest counseling. 

KylesMom409
by Linnette on Apr. 20, 2013 at 11:15 PM
I'm sorry for your loss. :( Hugs!

Quoting ooCherryo0:

That happened with me and my husband. I wanted just one more and he didn't. It didn't end well. I ended up pregnant and it put a lot of stress on our relationship. I lost my little guy at 20 weeks. I would suggest counseling. 

Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
luv.my.kids.365
by on Apr. 20, 2013 at 11:24 PM
2 moms liked this

Our third was an oops too. But Let me ask you this, is it the baby you want or another child? I get baby fever. But I stop and remind myslef of the financial stress, the physical stress, and while I want another baby, I do not want to raise another child. Suffice to say I have bonded with other women who have newborns and lil ones, so I get the perks without the stress. My youngest is 5, my oldest is 9.

TableforSeven
by Judy on Apr. 20, 2013 at 11:38 PM

Before we were even married, DH and I discussed how many children we wanted.  We wanted 5 children.  Our fifth child was born 9+ years ago.  Since he was born, there have been a few times that either I or DH has brought up having another baby....but, once we come back to reality, we KNOW in our hearts that we are done....though neither one of us would be upset about a surprise baby (but with me turning 40 in a few months I would worry about my and the baby's health a lot at this point). 

BuckeyezRule
by Bronze Member on Apr. 20, 2013 at 11:44 PM
1 mom liked this

What did you decide upon before you got married? Just curious. My good friend and her hubby agreed upon 1, maybe 2 kids. They had 2 girls. My friend wanted another, come heck or high water. She threatened divorce. He didn't want to get divorced, but, he DID NOT want another child. They were struggling as it was. She kept pressuring, and he finally said he didn't want another, but he didn't want a divorce (she threatened taking the girls, etc) . So, she got preggo again, and holy moly, he'd call me or my hubby alot, complaining, calling her every name in the book, saying he didn't want this cuss word baby. It was bad. I never told her, to this day. I didn't want to upset her, he was venting, I'm a sap, I listen to anyone. She'd say how happy he was. :(

I don't agree with him acting that way, but she was pretty bad about it. As it is now, he got a job, and told me he's happy to be traveling 3 weeks out of every mos, so he doesn't have to be around her a lot.  :(

My hubby and I had said 2 or 3. 3 was more if we had 2 boys or 2 girls. We had one, I had ppd, and was done! Hubby was sad, but okay. I was already preggo on bc. We did it once. So, I have a boy, then a girl, 12 1/2 mos apart in age. :) we are DONE!!!! I got fixed in the hospital after dd. hubby was fine with 1, or 20. He'd adopt now if I wanted. I have, however, never had baby fever, so, I do not understand that part (not that it's weird, just that I don't know how it feels) .

Good luck! I hope you can both come to an acceptable agreement. :)

EvilAngel13
by on Apr. 21, 2013 at 12:08 AM
1 mom liked this

 I have baby fever also. I have a 6 year old son and a 20 month old daughter. My husband has 2 children from a previous marriage. They are 23 and 19, both girls. He doesn't want to have another baby mainly because the doctor told him I shouldn't because my body doesn't respond well to pregnancy and if I couldn't have a c section for some reason the birth will kill me and the baby. Add to that my husband is 49 years old (I'm 36). So... he did entertain the idea mainly because I wanted another one sooo badly but in the end he has won. Yes it does bother me to not have another one but I am thankful for the 2 children I do have. I keep telling myself there are others out there who can't have any children at all and that I am very lucky I was able to have 2 beautiful children. Good Luck to you :)

SMTCMMoore
by Bronze Member on Apr. 21, 2013 at 12:18 AM
We are expecting number 4. I would love six but DH say she's done so I'm respecting this. We both wanted a lot and talked about this premarriage.

DH tried to stop at 2, we discussed that we had talked about more before marriage and he shouldn't go back on what he said since I still wanted a large family. But now at 4 he is saying he's done again so I'm trying to respect it. I got my way after 2 and was blessed with 2 more.

I want more, but if he's done I need to respect him. He's concerned about how old he'll be when they graduate.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
happymotherof6
by on Apr. 21, 2013 at 1:03 AM

try to get him on board do it now do not wait as the clock is ticking

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN