Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

30 Something Moms 30 Something Moms

Accepting That He's Different :((((

Posted by on Apr. 21, 2013 at 12:12 AM
  • 31 Replies
1 mom liked this

Hi everyone my name is Stacia and I'm new to this group.  My son Aidan is three and is autistic.  He uses very few words (less than 50) and cannot speak in sentences.  His speech is not clear and very muffled.  It breaks my heart to see how the other kids treat him when we go to the playground or public places and even how some of the adults look and stare at him. 

I admitt that my son Aidan is EXTREMELY loud and that can bother many individuals but all he want t do is play with the other kids and doesn't know how to ask clearly and say "come play with me".  But instead he starts his gibberish and gets super loud and extremely excited and starts to yell and shout and jump up and down, in a happy manner (I see how this can cause a lot of attention).  I need to understand that there's nothing I can do to make him speak today or right now unfortunately.  I find myself crying in the car on the way home or often at night after everyone has gone to bed. 

Hence the reason I joined this group.  I said to myself that their must be other moms who are going through what I am.   Any advise as to how i should deal with the above mentioned situation and also my emotions????

by on Apr. 21, 2013 at 12:12 AM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
belindah
by on Apr. 21, 2013 at 12:22 AM
1 mom liked this

 God bless you both, I dont have an autistic child, but I have a friend on this website that does,  Is it ok if I give her your name?

StaciaReyes
by on Apr. 21, 2013 at 12:23 AM

sure!!  definitely!!  thanks

N.Carter2001
by Member on Apr. 21, 2013 at 12:51 AM
1 mom liked this

My name is Nicole. My son will be 5 years old soon. He has autism. Jacob is starting to talk at least a little more when he at home or school. But if he don't know you. He will not talk.jacob likes to play alone or he will play next to his friends.  I'm still kind of new to this group cause I'm very shy.  My son also can't walk. So I already cryed in the past he can't be up running after his friends. So he will chase after them if they stay on sidewalk.

JasonsMom2007
by Lisa on Apr. 21, 2013 at 1:25 AM
2 moms liked this

My son may or may not have autism (that is up for debate at this point they say he has "autism like characteristics" and may be diagnosed as he grows) but he has sensory processing disorder, anxiety, and impulse control disorder among other things.  He is very verbal but being 5 hes not so good at telling me what is bothering him.

Boy can I relate.  We have had a really tough day today and I'm having a really hard time and feeling so alone today.  Our OT is terrible and not helping matters.  His problems are getting worse instead of better.  He's not wanting to leave my side ever and is even wanting to drop out of activities he has previously enjoyed because he can't be right with me every moment (like tee ball).

When he gets overwhelmed he goes into violent, loud meltdowns.  We use things like hunting ear protection and sunglasses to help him cope but people stare and he hates that so he will refuse to wear them.  If only people would stop staring!  And when he gets overwhelmed the stares and comments like "can't you just control your kid" or the comments like "all he needs is a good spanking" are just completely uncalled for.

There are groups on here for moms of special needs kids and autistic kids.  It's a great place to find moms who understand.

And welcome!

Liyoness
by on Apr. 21, 2013 at 1:49 AM
2 moms liked this

Shadow him in these environments. When he tries to initiate play, show him how to. Walk the other kids through the process, too. What are you using as a communication strategy until he has more words?

When he gets loud, you have to remind him to use a quieter voice. People are going to be put off by loud individuals, it's just a fact of life. While he doesn't understand why he has to use a quieter voice, no 3 year old does, really, so you just teach it for now so it becomes a habit to not shout. 

At 3, I wouldn't be overly concerned about his jumping excitedly; teach him as you would any other child.

Children will be more open to playing with your son by having an adult to guide them, and adults will be more encouraging of their child playing with yours when they see that you're not just letting your child be (what they interpret to be as) obnoxious.

Your child cannot learn if you don't teach him. Don't sell him short.

StaciaReyes
by on Apr. 21, 2013 at 1:51 AM
1 mom liked this

Ohh my goodness!!  people can be so crude and say the craziest things!  Knowledge is power!  Some people just need to not be so judgemental and be so quick to throw the stick around the child's behind. My son too has SPD so I can relate to many if not all the struggles you are dealing with.hugging

RiotPixie
by Member on Apr. 21, 2013 at 1:58 AM
1 mom liked this
Hello. I also have an Aidan. My Aidan is almost 7 and has ADHD. Up until he was 5, he had severe speech delay. I understand how frustrating that can be. My son is still a little behind on speech, with development around a 5 1/2 year old. He will be 7 next month.
I also have an almost 3 year old daughter named Marti who is albino. And a 19 month old daughter named Lynda. Pregnant with #4 due in November.
Good luck. Remember, your son may be on the autism spectrum, but that doesn't have to define who he is. I'm sure he's a wonderful and bright child. Welcome to CafeMom...land of the crazy. Lol
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
StaciaReyes
by on Apr. 21, 2013 at 2:05 AM

he uses signs a lot to help express himself and as I mentioned before he also uses real words.  They are few and they are muffled and a lot of gibberish in between, but mostly (mom) knows what hes's saying or asking for.  I try to be his interpretor to the kids and also to the adults.  But some adults are just mean themselves.   It's like you're kid is weird and we don't too care for him playing with our kids.   Sad but so true.  

But I do know that I'll receive great advice on here and learn a lot to help me through this time of my life and taking care of my special needs son.  Thanks guys hugs 

Junebaby18
by Nannerz on Apr. 21, 2013 at 2:08 AM
1 mom liked this
Is your son going to any therapy sessions? Pt or ot? If he is, ask the therapists to reccomend some good support groups you can attend. That way you can get more help there and for real live people, as opposed to Internet people, to help you figure things out too. (Not that we aren't real people too! lol)
StaciaReyes
by on Apr. 21, 2013 at 2:11 AM
1 mom liked this

thank you RiotPixie.  Thank you for the kind and warm words :)))   I do hope that things fall into place evenually .

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)