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UGH! I am not a SAHM!!!!

Posted by on Apr. 29, 2013 at 10:50 AM
  • 172 Replies
13 moms liked this

I feel unappreciated when people always assume that I am a SAHM. It takes a lot of effort to be a SAHM and maturity, yes. You have to have a relationship that is condusive to this arrangement. I though... I am not a SAHM!!!!

I live in a nice house, drive a nice car, and I WORK! Yes. And I am on the loan! And this is not my only HOME!

All the other Moms in our neighborhood, if they work, working is a hobby. Not a hobby over here. My hubby and I are equal contributors. 

If ONE MORE PERSON comes to our door and asks, "can I speak to the owner" or "who makes the decisions here" I will vomit on them! I get completely bypassed and people ask my husband what he does for a living because we have such a nice home.

Petty. Yes. Still drives me crazy... This is what happens when you marry AFTER doing everything on your own for so long *embarassed*

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by on Apr. 29, 2013 at 10:50 AM
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Replies (1-10):
ChancesMommy07
by Bronze Member on Apr. 29, 2013 at 11:13 AM
90 moms liked this

I am a SAHM and I've never had anyone say that stuff to me. WE own our homes and vehicles and WE are both on all the paperwork. I also consider myself an equal contributor to the house though so maybe thats why I don't notice. I've never thought of being a SAHM as not contributing as much as my husband does. 

EmilysMom2010
by Member on Apr. 29, 2013 at 11:16 AM
3 moms liked this
That's weird.
Everyone seems to make it a point to talk to me. Even when my husband is there. Maybe I put out the vibe that I'm the one in control?
(Even though I'm really not. It's pretty 50/50 here as well. We both have "veto power")
VintageWife
by Silver Member on Apr. 29, 2013 at 11:18 AM
21 moms liked this

I don't think they're assuming you don't own the home, it's just normal to ask for the home owner so that you don't start speaking to the wrong person.

gcecelie
by on Apr. 29, 2013 at 11:18 AM

Well, for me it happens all the time. Maybe it's because I look young... I dont know.

Example: these guys came to our old home to do help us move, I met them and left to go to the office. You know one of them asked my husband if now that he is moving to a better neighborhood is he going to get a white wife.

WTF! That is wrong on SO many levels!!!! That @sshole!


Quoting ChancesMommy07:

I am a SAHM and I've never had anyone say that stuff to me. WE own our homes and vehicles and WE are both on all the paperwork. I also consider myself an equal contributor to the house though so maybe thats why I don't notice. I've never thought of being a SAHM as not contributing as much as my husband does. 


Lilypie - Personal pictureLilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

AmesCSki
by Bronze Member on Apr. 29, 2013 at 11:19 AM
19 moms liked this
I'm a SAHM as well. And guess what! I'm on our mortgage, we live in a nice house and both DH and I drive nice cars! I also am a lawyer yet I'm home with my child which is best for everyone. DH makes enough money for our situation and he believes the money he makes belongs to both of us. So guess what! Both people in a marriage can contribute equally when one is a stay-home parent!!!!!
And no one has ever said any of those things to me. Oh and also there's nothing wrong with being a SAHM. I am very lucky to be able to spend time with my child in her early years.
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TableforSeven
by Judy on Apr. 29, 2013 at 11:24 AM
10 moms liked this

I am a SAHM.  My name was on both our mortgages as well as the lease for an apartment we lived in years ago and is on the lease for the house we are renting right now.  My name has been on EVERY vehicle we have ever owned.  My name has been on every bank account and credit card....and I have a credit card in just my name as well.  But, for us, everything is OURS and has been since the day we married.  We are equal partners - DH brings home a paycheck and I make sure the house is running well.

ChancesMommy07
by Bronze Member on Apr. 29, 2013 at 11:25 AM
4 moms liked this

Now that is some straight up bullshit. That didn't have anything to do with being a SAHM, that dude was just being flat out ignorant!

Years ago when we bought our house I had a jehovahs witness come to the door and ask to speak to my mom but I had been cleaning and was wearing my hair in pigtails so maybe I did look really young, I wish I still looked that young,lol.

Quoting gcecelie:

Well, for me it happens all the time. Maybe it's because I look young... I dont know.

Example: these guys came to our old home to do help us move, I met them and left to go to the office. You know one of them asked my husband if now that he is moving to a better neighborhood is he going to get a white wife.

WTF! That is wrong on SO many levels!!!! That @sshole!


Quoting ChancesMommy07:

I am a SAHM and I've never had anyone say that stuff to me. WE own our homes and vehicles and WE are both on all the paperwork. I also consider myself an equal contributor to the house though so maybe thats why I don't notice. I've never thought of being a SAHM as not contributing as much as my husband does. 



gcecelie
by on Apr. 29, 2013 at 11:28 AM
1 mom liked this

Like I said in the first paragraph, I think being a SAHM is preferred, it's just not our choice. It takes a certain kind of relationship and understanding we dont have.

None the less, your comments are not helping me get over that insanity that comes out of people's mouths when they meet me. It is literally, "oh she must not do anything".

Quoting AmesCSki:

I'm a SAHM as well. And guess what! I'm on our mortgage, we live in a nice house and both DH and I drive nice cars! I also am a lawyer yet I'm home with my child which is best for everyone. DH makes enough money for our situation and he believes the money he makes belongs to both of us. So guess what! Both people in a marriage can contribute equally when one is a stay-home parent!!!!!
And no one has ever said any of those things to me. Oh and also there's nothing wrong with being a SAHM. I am very lucky to be able to spend one with my child in her early years.


Lilypie - Personal pictureLilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

TableforSeven
by Judy on Apr. 29, 2013 at 11:36 AM
4 moms liked this

Years ago a telemarketer called my apartment and asked if my mother was there....guess I have/had a young sounding voice.  My mother happened to be visiting for lunch at the time, so I handed her the phone and told her the guy asked for "my mother".  It was a short conversation because when the guy started his spiel my mom informed him that this was her daughter's place and that she didn't live there.

Quoting ChancesMommy07:

Now that is some straight up bullshit. That didn't have anything to do with being a SAHM, that dude was just being flat out ignorant!

Years ago when we bought our house I had a jehovahs witness come to the door and ask to speak to my mom but I had been cleaning and was wearing my hair in pigtails so maybe I did look really young, I wish I still looked that young,lol.

Quoting gcecelie:

Well, for me it happens all the time. Maybe it's because I look young... I dont know.

Example: these guys came to our old home to do help us move, I met them and left to go to the office. You know one of them asked my husband if now that he is moving to a better neighborhood is he going to get a white wife.

WTF! That is wrong on SO many levels!!!! That @sshole!


Quoting ChancesMommy07:

I am a SAHM and I've never had anyone say that stuff to me. WE own our homes and vehicles and WE are both on all the paperwork. I also consider myself an equal contributor to the house though so maybe thats why I don't notice. I've never thought of being a SAHM as not contributing as much as my husband does. 





ChancesMommy07
by Bronze Member on Apr. 29, 2013 at 11:39 AM
1 mom liked this

I must be looking my age these days. I bought my husband beer the other day and the guy told me he didn't need to see my ID. I made him look at it anyway,lol.

Quoting TableforSeven:

Years ago a telemarketer called my apartment and asked if my mother was there....guess I have/had a young sounding voice.  My mother happened to be visiting for lunch at the time, so I handed her the phone and told her the guy asked for "my mother".  It was a short conversation because when the guy started his spiel my mom informed him that this was her daughter's place and that she didn't live there.

Quoting ChancesMommy07:

Now that is some straight up bullshit. That didn't have anything to do with being a SAHM, that dude was just being flat out ignorant!

Years ago when we bought our house I had a jehovahs witness come to the door and ask to speak to my mom but I had been cleaning and was wearing my hair in pigtails so maybe I did look really young, I wish I still looked that young,lol.

Quoting gcecelie:

Well, for me it happens all the time. Maybe it's because I look young... I dont know.

Example: these guys came to our old home to do help us move, I met them and left to go to the office. You know one of them asked my husband if now that he is moving to a better neighborhood is he going to get a white wife.

WTF! That is wrong on SO many levels!!!! That @sshole!


Quoting ChancesMommy07:

I am a SAHM and I've never had anyone say that stuff to me. WE own our homes and vehicles and WE are both on all the paperwork. I also consider myself an equal contributor to the house though so maybe thats why I don't notice. I've never thought of being a SAHM as not contributing as much as my husband does. 






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