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Are parents becoming more judgemental...

Posted by on May. 5, 2013 at 10:15 PM
  • 41 Replies

When I had my first DS 5 years ago, I can honestly say that no one ever bothered me or interrogated me about our parenting choices. As a matter of fact, most people didn't even ask us whether we planned to FF or BF, use cloth diapers or disposables etc....

But since I had my newest baby it seems like all of a sudden, everyone has an opinion on what we choose to do with our kids. Before we even had our newest DS, people were quizzing us about feeding options, what diapers we planned to use, whether we planned on using a crib etc....And it seems like the same people that are asking us all these questions are pretty opinionated and judgemental if you don't agree with them.

For instance, we decided to co-sleep with our first DS and no one said anything at all. Now we are co-sleeping with our newest baby and I'm amazed at how often I hear negative remarks about it. I feel like I am constantly defending our choices as parents. 

Do you feel that parents are becoming more aggressive and opinionated recently? Do you feel that you are judged more now about your parenting choices than before? Or do you feel that things have stayed the same?


by on May. 5, 2013 at 10:15 PM
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Replies (1-10):
diaperstodating
by Angel on May. 5, 2013 at 10:23 PM
1 mom liked this
Yes, parents are becoming more judgmental. My oldest is 14 and my youngest is 5 I have seen the difference.
jackiewal10
by Bronze Member on May. 5, 2013 at 10:23 PM
1 mom liked this

Honestly, I can be pretty judgmental. And it's toward those parents who don't research their choices.  Because SOOO many don't. They just say, "I'm doing this because 'so-and-so' told me that's the way to do it".  Well, that's crap.  There is so much out there that we know now that we didn't know 20/30/40/etc. years ago. Things change daily.  It's your job as a parent to be up to date on YOUR decision(s).  If you have done research and can back you decisions up with more that a "just because" (like to vax or not to vax, for example), then I don't care what your decision is. 

kjbugsmom1517
by Member on May. 5, 2013 at 10:25 PM
I have noticed it has gottin worse since i had my first almost 8 years ago. I feel bad for new parents nowadays. Its brutal.
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20ACE13
by on May. 5, 2013 at 10:26 PM
2 moms liked this

I have seen a serious lack of filtering when it comes to what people say lately. Its like no one has manners and they seem to think that because they have  an opinion YOU MUST AGREE too or something must be wrong with you.  I wish people could learn to mind their own business when it comes to these things I mean what ever happend to if you dont have anything nice to say don't say anything at all?  I guess the "I have freedom to say what I want" has overrun that.

snowangel1979
by Bronze Member on May. 5, 2013 at 10:40 PM
Yes I swear filters are gone now.
When I had DS 9 years ago no one really said anything. I sometimes got that random crazy lady but that was it.

With DD who's 2. Omg. I swear, I got so many opinions from just random people. When I went to DS school it was the worst. Hello, random mom that I didn't catch your name but thank-you for the 30minute lecture on how you pumped for the first year of your child's life or how vaccines are important. I'm not giving you the reasons I don't vax or why I had to bring her with me to drop DS off at school because It's none of your business. I just started walking away when people talked.
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sdgd21
by Diana on May. 5, 2013 at 11:15 PM
In my opinion, carrots have always been judgmental, grandparents aunts uncles. You name it. However in our country we used to be too polite to say, now not so much.
I remember growing up we had tons of people telling my mom how to raise us, people thought that my parents were too soft, or weird, whatever.
Jilly79
by on May. 6, 2013 at 2:15 AM

There's so many fads right now and I think that's why people have so many debates. Dye-free food diets? Organic diets? Oh, and the latest I've heard is not using diapers at all!  Fads come and go. Go with your gut. And no, not every little thing needs to be researched to death. If my child is crying and I want to cuddle her I'm going to. 

TroyboysMom
by on May. 6, 2013 at 2:49 AM

To a degree, yes. I think, in part, it has to do with the shift toward the "tabloid" culture - the paparazzi/news started it by getting so caught up in trying to report every little thing about everyone that it breeds the idea that nothing is private anymore, and that everything should be open for discussion; social media furthers it because the lines are blurred. Everyone reports everything. Anyone has to know every last thing about anyone else's life, in order to be able to make a statement about it. I find it very sad.

deskorcasmomma
by Liz on May. 6, 2013 at 3:36 AM
6 moms liked this
But why should I have to " back up "my decisions to you. I do what I do to my kids because it is my choice to do it. I should not have to justify my reasons to anybody. If you want to judge me then it is your time and energy you are wasting. I will not lose a wink of sleep just because you think I am doing something you do not agree with.

Quoting jackiewal10:

Honestly, I can be pretty judgmental. And it's toward those parents who don't research their choices.  Because SOOO many don't. They just say, "I'm doing this because 'so-and-so' told me that's the way to do it".  Well, that's crap.  There is so much out there that we know now that we didn't know 20/30/40/etc. years ago. Things change daily.  It's your job as a parent to be up to date on YOUR decision(s).  If you have done research and can back you decisions up with more that a "just because" (like to vax or not to vax, for example), then I don't care what your decision is. 

KylesMom409
by Linnette on May. 6, 2013 at 6:26 AM
I agree 100%!

Quoting TroyboysMom:

To a degree, yes. I think, in part, it has to do with the shift toward the "tabloid" culture - the paparazzi/news started it by getting so caught up in trying to report every little thing about everyone that it breeds the idea that nothing is private anymore, and that everything should be open for discussion; social media furthers it because the lines are blurred. Everyone reports everything. Anyone has to know every last thing about anyone else's life, in order to be able to make a statement about it. I find it very sad.

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