Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Are parents becoming more judgemental...

Posted by   + Show Post

When I had my first DS 5 years ago, I can honestly say that no one ever bothered me or interrogated me about our parenting choices. As a matter of fact, most people didn't even ask us whether we planned to FF or BF, use cloth diapers or disposables etc....

But since I had my newest baby it seems like all of a sudden, everyone has an opinion on what we choose to do with our kids. Before we even had our newest DS, people were quizzing us about feeding options, what diapers we planned to use, whether we planned on using a crib etc....And it seems like the same people that are asking us all these questions are pretty opinionated and judgemental if you don't agree with them.

For instance, we decided to co-sleep with our first DS and no one said anything at all. Now we are co-sleeping with our newest baby and I'm amazed at how often I hear negative remarks about it. I feel like I am constantly defending our choices as parents. 

Do you feel that parents are becoming more aggressive and opinionated recently? Do you feel that you are judged more now about your parenting choices than before? Or do you feel that things have stayed the same?

by on May. 5, 2013 at 10:15 PM
Replies (31-40):
by on May. 7, 2013 at 7:02 AM
1 mom liked this

 I think people are just more outspoken about it now. People don't seem to have manners anymore and think it's ok to try to tell others how to raise their childnre. I get all kinds of grief from my mom and older brother because I have chosen to do extended BF. Him and his girlfriend think it's "weird" but IMO they only think that because they never BF.

by on May. 7, 2013 at 7:24 AM

I had my DS 8 years ago and was harassed for formula feeding him by strangers.

by on May. 7, 2013 at 8:02 AM
I was questioned and my oldest is almost 14, I just told them to be quiet.
by on May. 7, 2013 at 10:37 AM


I agree with this. I dont offer information to anyone. I only give general information if they do ask. I think it is rude. If someone asks me for help I will give it to them. But I dont judge. It is not my job. I truly believe parents try and do best for their children. What ever their situation. As long as everyone is happy and healthy and not in danger, dont stir the pot!

Quoting Tckosdk.2012:

I just had my first baby 8 months ago & I'm struggling with this. I generally don't tell people what I do anymore because everyone seems to have an oppinion. I'm more for attachment parenting because that is what has come naturally to me. I breastfeed & co-sleep. Most other older mom's don't understand because they didn't breastfeed. They don't understand how much easier it is to co-sleep so I can night nurse without getting out of bed. I get alot of questions about how long I will breastfeed. I find that question to just be rude. I don't think it's anyones business how long I decide to breastfeed. I just wanna go with the flow & let my baby wean when she's ready. I really think as a mom your damned if you do & your damned if you don't. Someone will make you feel bad about your choices no matter what.


by on May. 7, 2013 at 10:58 AM
I have a 12 year old and a 2 year old. I don't remember all the questions and the judgment with my first. I'm pretty sure I was pretty mainstream then. Now I have changed a few things. The people I have met in person just think i'm a little stranger or what I do is neat but not for them. On here is a whole other story. I'm not crunch and not mainstream so I just keep my mouth shut to keep the peace.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
by on May. 7, 2013 at 11:40 AM
1 mom liked this

Yes, I feel our entire species on all aspects of life is WAY too judgemental and closed minded (look at religion and politics as well as parenting).  

It's sad and it's causing a lot of problems in our world and our lives.  

We need to remember that our opinions are OUR own opinions, and we should respect others opinions as long as they do not hurt us.  

Every single one of us has a unique upbringing and life experience and that is how we form our opinions and beliefs.    Just because I might not agree with your belief or action does not invalidate it or mean you are wrong.  You just see life differntly.  Maybe we can learn from eachothers differences, like they did in the "Old days". 

We need to go easy on each other and help eachother out more, instead of critisize and use others hardships to make ourselves feel better. We need to re-discover community and acceptance. LOVE.hugs

by on May. 7, 2013 at 11:52 PM
Yes, I think that they are becoming more judgmental.
by Ruby Member on May. 8, 2013 at 12:03 AM

I haven't noticed. We don't make many "radical" parenting choices though, and if we did we wouldn't care what others thought. 

My cousin raises her children totally different than the way most of our family was raised and people talk behind her back but she's not strong enough to stand up to them. I usually do it for her. 

by on May. 8, 2013 at 12:09 AM

I have always been judged on my parenting. My oldest is 13.

by on May. 8, 2013 at 12:23 AM

I only have one child (almost 11).  But I feel the older I get, the more judgmental I am.  Obviously, I don't always verbalize my opinions, but I do usually have a passionate opinion (especially when I watch the news...)

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)