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Selfish or just jealous?

Posted by on May. 9, 2013 at 3:00 PM
  • 42 Replies

So my materenity leave comes to an end May 20th.... :( 

Family means everything to me. SO sister lives in Seattle and we live in NH. Her 30th birthday is in June and his mom wants to fly my SO and his dad out there. But I'm sad it's over father's day weekend. His first official father's day. Sad that I can't go because I've never been there. And nervous about having the entire weekend here acting as a single mom!! I've done some 1 nighters but not 4 night/days.


Am I being Selfish?

by on May. 9, 2013 at 3:00 PM
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Replies (1-10):
irritablekat
by on May. 9, 2013 at 3:03 PM
1 mom liked this

I'm sorry, but I find that Selfish of them. They need to realize he has another family now. It depends on your SO as well though, fathers day is just a day and you can celebrate it any time as long as it means something to you. I think its something you should talk about.

nurse1997
by on May. 9, 2013 at 3:04 PM

He should stay home ;]

jackiewal10
by Bronze Member on May. 9, 2013 at 3:07 PM
1 mom liked this

I think it's a little of both.  Does your DH want to go or does he feel obligated to go? If he WANTS to go, then...there isn't much you can do.  If he feels like he HAS to go, then you need to encourage him to put his foot down with his family.  I agree with the PP that his mom/parents/etc. needs to realize that he has his own family now and that that is his first priority.  Why can't you go for the weekend?  Even if you had to take a different flight home to be back for work, you could still go for 2 days.

newmom218
by on May. 9, 2013 at 3:09 PM

he told his mom that he wanted to talk to me first before commiting. So he is thinking of us and I appreciate that.  I don't want him to resent me if I voice my thoughts. I don' t know if he's paying for the ticket. But just starting back to work money is tight.

newmom218
by on May. 9, 2013 at 3:11 PM

I think he feels a little of both. His mom puts a lot of guilt on us to do things. And he has a hard time saying no to her. Even if that means driving all over the state and some of maine on Christmas day... But that's another issue! haha

And its expensive to fly to Seattle for just 2 days.

jackiewal10
by Bronze Member on May. 9, 2013 at 3:15 PM
5 moms liked this

It's not really another issue.  Your MIL needs to come to terms with the fact that her son is an adult now.  Who has his own life and his own family and is NOT going to be able to do ALL the things she thinks he needs to.  But on the flip side of the coin, YOUR DH needs to realize the same thing.  The sooner he starts saying "no" to those things that just don't fit with his "new" family, the better off you two will be.

Quoting newmom218:

I think he feels a little of both. His mom puts a lot of guilt on us to do things. And he has a hard time saying no to her. Even if that means driving all over the state and some of maine on Christmas day... But that's another issue! haha

And its expensive to fly to Seattle for just 2 days.


newmom218
by on May. 9, 2013 at 3:24 PM


How do you have this conversation without offending anyone? Or making him upset?

I make the effort to go and see my family. I have more siblings with their own kids so there are more occasions to get together. And his mom has been injured for 3.5 years of our 4 year relationship so the responsibility to go there is always ours. My family comes to us as well so it makes it easier..

Quoting jackiewal10:

It's not really another issue.  Your MIL needs to come to terms with the fact that her son is an adult now.  Who has his own life and his own family and is NOT going to be able to do ALL the things she thinks he needs to.  But on the flip side of the coin, YOUR DH needs to realize the same thing.  The sooner he starts saying "no" to those things that just don't fit with his "new" family, the better off you two will be.

Quoting newmom218:

I think he feels a little of both. His mom puts a lot of guilt on us to do things. And he has a hard time saying no to her. Even if that means driving all over the state and some of maine on Christmas day... But that's another issue! haha

And its expensive to fly to Seattle for just 2 days.




mamaslilpunkin
by Bronze Member on May. 9, 2013 at 3:26 PM
2 moms liked this

 I think he should stay home with you.Maybe they can Skype on her party day.

mrs.hartman12
by on May. 9, 2013 at 3:27 PM
1 mom liked this

No its his FIRST fathers day, he should spend it with his family! As in you and the baby!

newmom218
by on May. 9, 2013 at 3:29 PM


It's special to me too. I told him last year on father's day that I was pregnant. 


Quoting mrs.hartman12:

No its his FIRST fathers day, he should spend it with his family! As in you and the baby!



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